Godparent battle!

[Bee7]

I know it's still all a bit early for this, but OH and i have already fallen out over babys godparents! I've picked two of my best friends as godmothers, and he's picked one of his close friends as godfather. We all know each other and were happy with each others choices. But last night he said he wanted to ask another of his friends as well. Now i know this is going to sound really mean but i just don't want this other guy as godparent. He's not a nasty person at all, in fact i do get on with him quite well in small doses. But he's one of those people who is just a bit weird/annoying and he also drinks and gambles a lot which i don't think is a great role model. Basically i'm just not happy with the choice but when i told OH this it started a big debate. I said we needed to both agree and he shouldn't force me to pick someone i'm not happy with. But on the flip side, he said i shouldn't stop him asking who he wants to ask.

How do you deal with situations like this when sometimes there just isn't a compromise? We're both babys parents so we both have a right to an opinion but when is the right time to back down? I really do feel quite strongly about this and don't see why i should give the ok to something i'm not happy about. It makes me wonder how we'll deal with other, more important disagreements/issues that involve baby. Anyone else had similar problems? xxx

 

[Maria1977]

We haven't had LO christened as we're not religious. But if I were in your situation it has to be give and take. he has to respect your wishes, as you have to respect his.

If you are really really unhappy with his choice, with good reasons, then he needs to respect that and deal with it basically. I'm sure if it were the other way around he would want to be listened to.

I think you said it all when you said that the guy is ok, but not a good role model for your child.

I wonder if your dh is more worried about how this guy will feel about not being asked, rather than actually agreeing with your reasons about why he shouldn't be a godparent?

 

[BellaRiven]

I can't comment on this as we won't be getting bubba christened as we have pagan beliefs.

However might come up against it when choosing guardians hmmmmmmmmmmm, maybe a talk with hubby would work lol!!

 

[Daydreaming]

I agree with Maria - ask OH what makes this guy a good candidate for Godparent, what will he give/do for your bubba?
It may just be a case of wanting to show they are good mates rather than picking him for the baby.

If however he has good reasons for picking this friend maybe you will have to think a bit harder...

 

[Rachel1509]

Personally, even though I'm not religious myself (OH is), I would want both of us to agree on all godparents we pick.
The baby is both of yours, so it should be a joint decision that you both completely agree on.
A lot of people take Godparenting very seriously and find it an honour to be asked.

So if you can't agree on this one particular person, then I think someone else should be considered for the role.
Just my opinion don't make exceptions for someone you're unsure of. The reason Godparents are given to children is a very important role.

 

[Bee7]

Completely agree Rachel. The 3 people we have picked so far are all people i would trust to look after my child. The other one...not so much. I think OH is thinking more about his friend and how it would be nice for him to be asked rather than the implications of him actually being 'godparent'. We'll see if we can call a cease-fire tonight when i get home! x