getting rid of the dummy

[El1en]

Good morning! it's been an awful long time since I logged in here but I'd love some advice

my 2.5 year old still uses her dummy at night and for naps (although she only naps once a week). I'd really like rid of it but really struggling.

the big issue is that she twirls her hair alongside using her dummy. she now has a bald strip down one side of her head due to the twirling but for her the two are hand in hand.

she says she'll get rid of the dummies. she puts them into a box on a morning and they stay there until bedtime and twice now she has told me she will give them To the fairies and won't use one at bedtime. however come bedtime she gets really stressed because in her words "I can't twirl my hair without my dummy and I can't sleep if I can't twirl my hair" bless her heart it nearly sends her into a panic attack.

I've tried giving her other things in her hand to twirl, teddies and tried to be firm but she's quite sensitive and innate to see her so stressed.

any tips? she's got quite fine hair and I'm having a job covering the bald patch. she also says she's wants hair plaits like Anna from frozen and it's so tough explaining to a 2.5 year old that she can only have one plait as the hair on one side is so short or none existent

 

[candymycandy]

Really sorry Ellen I have no idea re the hair twirling but didn’t want to read and run. Our experience with dummies though - ds also had one for naps and night times. We had a few attempts at getting rid but then he’d be poorly or we’d be on holiday etc so gave in. Then we picked a weekend and told him the dummy fairy would bring him a toy (train table!) in exchange for giving his dummy to poorly babies. Had 1 night of upset, next night was a bit better and then fine after that. I think it’s a case of short term pain long term gain, maybe the same will apply to your little girl even with the hair twirling? xx

 

[El1en]

thank you replying. we have said a similar thing, she has some paw patrol toys she has picked out she'd like but once in bed gets quite panicky saying "I don't need the toys mummy I don't I just need my dummy so I can twirl my hair"

shes just the most lovely little girl but if shes stressed shes very stressed and because shes not generally like that its hard to see

I'm due baby 2 and would have loved rid of the dummy before baby comes but I'm feeling like I'll just have to wait.

 

[Loula]

Maybe she just isn't ready to give it up yet. The way I saw it was imagine if one of our comforts got taken away it would take some time to get used to.
My daughter was 3.5 and we put it on the Xmas tree one night and the next morning a small toy she wanted appeared.
The first night she played up wanting her dummy but I just let explaining that it's gone now and she was a big girl and that was it for us.

 

[GBLiz]

my LO is only 15 months and he has to have his dummy 24/7. However, my daughter sucked her fingers until she was 8 despite nailbite lotion, finger guards, star charts etc, which has become a real problem as the dentist says she is likeely to need a jaw operation because of how its changed her mouth. I asked about my LO and the dummy and he said at this age its fine and if he didnt have the dummy he would find something else to suck (fingers!) so while i am a bit bothered how dependent he is on it, and its irritating the skin round his mouth, the alternative that my daughter is facing is worse!

 

[KHTW]

Maybe she just isn't ready to give it up yet. The way I saw it was imagine if one of our comforts got taken away it would take some time to get used to.
My daughter was 3.5 and we put it on the Xmas tree one night and the next morning a small toy she wanted appeared.
The first night she played up wanting her dummy but I just let explaining that it's gone now and she was a big girl and that was it for us.

Oh how I hope you are right! This is what I have been telling myself... My DD is 2y4mo and has her do-do with her nearly all the time! When I tell her that we are going to give it up she shouts: no! I love it!... Trying to take it away from her now would cause her great upset I just know it. Hopefully she is more ready soon x

 

[Loula]

Maybe she just isn't ready to give it up yet. The way I saw it was imagine if one of our comforts got taken away it would take some time to get used to.
My daughter was 3.5 and we put it on the Xmas tree one night and the next morning a small toy she wanted appeared.
The first night she played up wanting her dummy but I just let explaining that it's gone now and she was a big girl and that was it for us.

Oh how I hope you are right! This is what I have been telling myself... My DD is 2y4mo and has her do-do with her nearly all the time! When I tell her that we are going to give it up she shouts: no! I love it!... Trying to take it away from her now would cause her great upset I just know it. Hopefully she is more ready soon x

I'm a firm believer in they will do it when they are ready.

 

[El1en]

I'll be honest I hate dummies, they look horrendous but that being said my DD only has it for nighttime and I do agree that she'd get rid of it when ready. my big issue is the hair twirling, she's lost a lot of hair and since the two go hand in hand I'd like rid of it

I'm just letting it go for now and will maybe try again in a month or two. I just hate the thought that she soon won't have any hair to twirl on the left side and will start on the right

 

[Juice]

We keep telling my daughter that if she puts it under her pillow and keeps it there all night, the dummy fairy will take it and leave her a chocolate coin. So far she hasn't managed to do it, but she does put it under her pillow and then lies there for about half an hour before getting it out and going to sleep with it. But because we keep talking about it, she's really determined to try, and I'm hoping that one night it'll just click and she'll fall asleep with it under the pillow.

Maybe try offering to stay with her for the first few nights without the dummy? Maybe with you stroking her hair or face she'll be able to fall asleep? You risk turning that into a habit you can't break, I guess, but maybe it's worth a try anyway?

 

[Princess81]

Could you get her a doll whose hair she could twiddle if she likes the sensation between her fingers?
My son threw his dummy downstairs out of his cot and I couldn’t find it! He knew it was his own fault and he never got it replaced. I was dreading it but it was so easy