Getting a routine/changing routine

[Mumbear]

Hi

I'm a first time mum to a little boy who is almost 5 months and I think I've messed up by having him in a bad routine which is basically just what he's settled into.

So he usually sleeps all night from 11pm till between 8 or 9 I his next to me crib, he usually has 4-5 hr long naps throughout the day in his Moses brasket downstairs with me but I have to rock it constantly or he'll wake up. I've tried putting him down in is room but he doesnt sleep he just lays there. In the evening he'll usually go to sleep in his basket until we wake him to go to bed, give him another bottle and bed.

I want to get him into a bedtime routine but I don't no where to start, I don't no whether to put him in his crib in our room or start putting him in his own room.

I say usually because the last few nights he's been not going back to sleep at bedtime and waking throughout the night.

To be honest motherhood has completely overwhelmed me, I have no idea what I'm doing and just stumbling through each day. I don't leave the house all that often, I'm lonely and struggling.

 

[MrsS15]

You sound like you're doing absolutely fine hun so stop stressing!

He's probably waking because he's getting to the weaning stage (if you haven't already), once he's on 3 meals you'll find he's fuller and settles for longer periods overnight, if not all night. All babies go through it! To start changing his routine at night I would take him upstairs and have it quiet and the lights low or just lamps on. Give him a nice relaxing bath then read a wee story in his room, give him a bottle and lie him down. We always done the 3 bs with my son - bath bottle and bed. My mum drummed that into me he might fight you just because it's not his norm but just continue to go in and give him reassurance that mummy is there. I used to Potter about up the stairs when I put my son down, put washings away etc so he knew I was there. I would probably wait and do this once he's weaned and sleeping better in your room initially. You could start the whole process with him in your room so he gets used to it and it's not such a big change.

4-5 hour naps are also huge. Is this in one go or split? If you start trying to get him to self settle at night then carry it out through the day too so he's got the consistancy. He's obviously just a wee monkey wanting you there rocking him for his nap so maybe start yourself gently with his during the day nap and encouraging self settling!

Motherhood can be very lonely, no one tells you this part. Can you ask your health visitor about local mother and baby groups? There's plenty you can do with him when you find all the information. Do you have a local swimming pool near you? You could give water baby classes a try, these are so good for baby and super tire them out. Also local libraries do things like rhyme time and tumble time classes. A lot are free too! It's hard walking into groups and classes not knowing people but if you can find the confidence they would be so good for you both! Xx

 

[Mumbear]

Thank you for responding, Sorry I meant 4 or 5 naps through out the day for about an hour! I have started giving him baby rice at lunch times so hopefully that will settle him down and I think he's teething which might be why he's unsettled.

I don't bath him every day but last night when we all went to bed I did book and bottle so I might do that until he's settled and like you say start in our room.

I'm starting a sing and sign class next week and I found a local mum and baby group but he's too old now, it's for babies under 20 weeks which is a pain. Im quite out a f the way and don't drive so that doesn't help, I really need to start driving lessons but it's another thing to worry about. I'll look at the library though, hadn't thought of that x

 

[kumber]

Baby rice adds no nutritional value to their diet and is a bit of a false food as it only fills them for about a half hour and then they're hungry again. I would give him some potatoes and veg blended and mixed with his milk.

I wouldn't move him into his own room yet, too many changes at once will cause you problems. I would get him used to sleeping without being rocked in his moses first, then you can look at putting him down in his crib for every sleep, and then eventually transition to cot.

You don't need to do bath, bottle, bed for a routine, and daily baths are actually really bad for the skin. I've always done twice weekly baths, and bedtime routine is getting into pjs at the feed between 6pm and 8pm and then doing their later feed in a darkened room.

Motherhood is very lonely and it takes time to get used to it. You sound like you're doing a great job so be proud of yourself!!

 

[MrsS15]

I agree regarding the rice, if he's ready for food I would give him a more nutritious meal and build it up as tolerated.

Have you tried settling him during the day without being rocked? I think it'll just be a process of tackling one thing at a time and you'll both get there.

Daily baths are absolutely fine as long as no products are used at every wash, baby wash should be used 2-3 times per week (I'm a paediatric nurse. We do this daily with all babies unless severe skin conditions). Warm water at night is known to help soothe and relax! Obviously you can miss out the bath and just continue a calming bedtime routine which he'll soon learn means sleepy time.

Glad you found some classes to start. I hope you start to feel better about everything soon! Xx

 

[Rose83]

I found baby rice was good for getting my son used to thicker foods - he was a nightmare to wean and hated purée. Eventually I have up and gave him baby led weaning type finger foods and he got the hang of eating quickly! Now he eats purées no problem. The cow and gate creamy porridge is quite good and would maybe be a good starting point. I weaned my daughter at 4 months as she showed all the signs and I started with fruit purées then added in vegetable ones then meat ones from 6 months.

I bath both mine everyday and they have no skin problems and they absolutely love bath time - they also know that it signals bedtime. My little girl (age 2) has her bath, hair dried, milk and bed and she knows exactly what comes next and is never any trouble going to bed once the sequence is started. My little boy (10 months) is now the same as he fell in with her routine and likewise knows it's bed time. Although he still wakes several times after 'bed time' to eat x