Frustrated at first visit...

[buddabun]

...I'm sure this is very common but I came out of my doctor's visit in tears today. She was the specialist we saw during my first miscarriage (I think she specialises in problems during pregnancy and have no idea why we got to see a specialist as my m/c was all very straightforward) and during a follow up appointment she told us to come back if I got pregnant again.

So I went to the doctor on camp who referred me to Dr Specialist (in hospital).

I got there today and she asked "What's going on with your periods?"... I told her I wasn't having any and that's why I was there. She asked when my first hpt was, LMP, symptoms etc. She then said "Right your antenatal care will be back on camp". I told her they sent me to her and she just tutted.

She didn't take any samples, didn't do a scan, I had to actually sit there and keep pestering her to get me an early scan even though she had said I could have one the last time. I wanted reassurance. I told her we'd had two miscarriages as she hadn't known about the second and she just kept interrupting me and saying "yeah" like what I was telling her was old news and taking up her valuable time. She even insisted that I was dead on 4 weeks even though (by LMP calculations) I am 4w5d. Without a dating scan it's only an estimate but I don't need a medical degree to count ffs!

In short I was made to feel like I was wasting her time (even though she herself had told me to come back) and that, unless I had diabetes or was a high risk pregnancy I wasn't worth bothering with.

I did manage to get a scan for Feb 5th (after her huffing and puffing and telling me most of her other patients had to wait "months" for theirs - implying that because I'm white I get special treatment. SHE TOLD ME I COULD HAVE ONE!!!) but I came out of there feeling like I'd done something wrong by turning up. I wasn't expecting to come away with a scan pic or anything today but, seeing as they scanned me 'just in case' at 4w2d the first time, I thought they might have done again today and I could have been reassured. She wasn't going to take bloods and test hCG levels, she didn't seem interested that I am just so worried that this pregnancy will go the way of the others.

Did anyone else feel like this, like nobody understood how bloody terrified you are of it all going wrong at this early stage? I know there's nothing anyone can do but still, a bit of humanity on their part would have been nice. I guess I'm going back down to the doc's on camp to start antenatal treatment but I don't even know what that involves or when and how often I'm supposed to go. I feel totally deflated and stupid tonight

Sorry for ranting ladies...

 

[sally105]

i cant believe that people like her at put in these kind of jobs! I bet it was awful for you.

I really hope you dont have to see her again!!

Sorry to hear you've had such a frustrating experience.

Hugs from me

 

[Nicky_Jones]

Oh that is awful. I can't comment on my first visit as I haven't seen anybody yet. I asked at the surgery if I should make and appointment with the doctor, and they said no, take this pack and fill in the form. I got home with the form and it said it was supposed to be filled in by the doctor! I went back and checked and they said just fill in your name, address and phone number hand it in and the MW will call me to make the first appointment. Well that was a week ago, and I haven't had a call at all. I am going to the docs for smear on Wed, so I will prompt again then.

 

[shezza30]

Are you supposed to have a smear when your preggers

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

Argh, sounds like you had a horrid first visit.

I hope you feel better soon, and not wasting her time, it's her role to be there, I am sure it's her role to be reassuring as well, but you are still not wasting anyone's time. xx

 

[Nicky_Jones]

Are you supposed to have a smear when your preggers

I did tell them when I made the appointment. It was asked frequently on TTC section apparently it is fine.

 

[buddabun]

I think there is a very slight increase in risk with smears but considering the amount of prodding and poking that area's going to be getting, coupled with all the prodding and poking it got for those of us who checked our CP I doubt it makes that much difference.

She was the one who said she was "happy with my blood results" after my hCG was 7.1 and we had to look up on the internet that it meant we'd miscarried. We were both so puzzled (as we were obviously devastated by the news) and Mr Buddabun actually had to stop her and ask if I was still pregnant. She just said "Oh no" and carried on talking. I think feelings are hugely overrated here

Anyway sod her.

 

[Mik]

Bubadun it sounds like this woman has no empathy at all and should not be dealing with people who have gone through or are going through m/c If I were you I would make an appt for your GP and talk to him/her about how you are feeling and see what support there is for you. Also if you feel up to it after the comments made by her previously as well make a complaint.

I hope and pray that this pregnancy goes very well for you

 

[Jaded Diamond]

Are the medical team on camp well equipped to look after you (scans and stuff?) cos she sounds horrible.
I hope she either bucks her ideas up or the on site team make up for her lack of people skills. how rude

 

[HannahD]

God, some Dr's just haven't got a clue have they? I had a nightmare time with my gp surgery when I had my m/c but thankfully the epu were amazing.
Unless they've been through it themselves, they can't possibly understand the fear you have that it might not work out again.

I don't suppose there's anyone else there you can see instead of her?

xx

 

[buddabun]

There isn't such a thing as a GP here but the doctor on camp is wonderful. She trained in N. Ireland, speaks incredible english and actually has the time and kindness to sit down and talk things through with you. Sadly, pregnancy is not her speciality (she treats soldiers after all and the VAST majority here are men) and there are no facilities there. All they can do is weight you, prod you and MAYBE take blood (although I'm not sure on that one).

My scan is at the hospital, hopefully not by the same doctor. It seems from the prep (i.e. they have asked me to drink water before the scan) that it will be an abdominal one. Can you see anything with an ab scan at 7 weeks?! I have only ever had the massive dildo before so am dubious about how much they are able to see?

I could possibly ask for another doctor but seeing as this one made it quite clear that she was no longer interested in me unless I developed diabetes then I doubt I'll be seeing her again.

I am looking into going private (there is a sort of clause in our 'contract' if you will that if public hospitals here aren't up to NHS standards we can go private, paid for by the army) as most women do for the birth. I am hoping they are nicer there although they obviously have less experience as the public hospitals are popping out babies like nobody's business. Also because they're private they are more greedy and have a reputation for doing a LOT of Caesarians...

But the public hospital was revolting when I went in for my m/c - no gloves, no sharps bins, bloodstains on the sheets in the scanning room, vomit on the walls. It was revolting. We went in for 'observation'. She basically took my BP at the desk, TOLD me where me bed was and left me for 3 hours. Then I got scanned and had some blood taken. Then plonked in that bed for 3 hrs. We got up and told them we were leaving and a huge argument ensured. My bloodwork came back and they hadn't even measured my hCG! As you can imagine I have little faith in the public system here.

I will go on the 5th for this scan and then hopefully make a case for going to the private one for everything else as that place has shown me nothing but misery and filth.