Awful 1st midwife appointment today

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Kimberly, Nov 28, 2007.

  1. Kimberly

    Kimberly Well-Known Member

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    I had my first midwife appointment today and it was awful. After all the usual LMP and stuff I explained to her that I thought I had some spotting early on and at 5 weeks 2 days I went to the AE and they scanned and found an empty pregnancy sac. I told her that they wanted me to come back to the EPU for a scan the following week, but that I left for America the next day and I wasn't able to have a follow up appointment. (I did have a private scan in America at 7 weeks which showed a little bean with a HB, but I didn't tell her about this as I was afraid they wouldn't give me another scan)

    So she says... You know you shouldn't have flown right? I told her that no I didn't know....no one had told me that. She then said...Your baby is most likely dead. WTF! She said that air travel during the first trimester ALMOST ALWAYS ends in miscarriage! Then she proceeded to make a racist comment about a certain ethnic group, their insistence to fly during the first tri, and their babies having no heartbeat when they get back. It wasn't my ethnic group, but I found it quite offensive and I am shocked that a professional would say such a thing.

    The consultant at the AE knew that I was flying to America for 3 weeks and she didn't say anything about this resulting in a miscarriage. I also did some research before the trip and I never saw anything that said what she told me. I think this woman is insane, but it's still got me worried. :(

    Even if what she says is true....what kind of person says point blank "your baby is most likely dead" with no proof? There was also a few other things that happened during the visit that weren't quite right, but this post would be way too long. I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens at my next scan. :cry:
     
  2. DaisyRose

    DaisyRose Well-Known Member

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    Crikey, I think that was well out of order, and not correct information at all!!! I saw my m/w yesterday for my first appointment and I mentioned flying (we're flying to Spain when I am about 11 weeks) and she said it was fine as long as I had insurance and I abided by the airlines cut off date (I believe the only time airlines won't fly pregnant women is when they're in the very late stages of pregnancy).

    I would also say that I flew when I was 8 weeks pregnant with Rosie, and about 14 with Daisy!!! They were absolutely fine and are very much alive and kicking right now!!!

    I am going to check this out too but I think if this information was correct it'd be all over the press!!! I think if it were me I'd seriously consider making a formal complaint about this lady!!!

    All the best. I'm sure it's all fine! :hug: Really sorry to hear you've had to go through such an awful experience!!!
     
  3. Bloom

    Bloom Well-Known Member

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    Thats terrible :shock:

    If i was you i would complain and request you do not have this woman as your midwife for the rest of your pregnancy.

    Congrats on the pregnancy though and if you had a scan at 7 weeks and baby was doing well and you have had no reason to think otherwise im sure baby is fine.
     
  4. Flick

    Flick Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun, just read your post and I am absolutely devestated a so-called professional can talk to you in that manner .... I would take anything she says 'with a pinch of salt' until you hear different. :? Is she going to be your midwife all the way through your pregnancy? If so I would request someone else :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  5. Emma58

    Emma58 Well-Known Member

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    That is so unprofessional. I would report her and refuse to have her care for you and your baby that is awful.

    :hug: :hug: Glad to hear all went well at your scan x
     
  6. Minime

    Minime Well-Known Member

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    COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN!!!!

    Ask to speak to the head MW. Comments about ethnic groups are out of order, I'm not sure what group you are in but assume non-white so would she have said this if you were white? Dont think so. Bang out of order to say things like that to you. Dont let this go hun.
     
  7. sarah113

    sarah113 Well-Known Member

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    :shock: OMG, i would complain, i cant beleive a proffesional would say that!!!
     
  8. mayday

    mayday Well-Known Member

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    OMG! :roll: How on earth did I and my thousands of air travelling work colleagues ever manage to give birth to healthy babies then! I'm a pilot with a baby, I know hundreds of cabin crew and pilots who have babies, and do you know what - all of them are at work until they find out they are pregnant. It stands to reason, if you fly for a living you continue to fly until you find out you are pregnant, which means that usually 4-5 weeks of the first trimester is spent flying round the world.

    The woman is clearly talking out of her backside. [/code]
     
  9. skimpy

    skimpy Well-Known Member

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    Oh dear - im sorry you had such an aweful experience. please consider complaining about this individual who is letting her profession down - that is a disgraceful way to behave and there is no excuse for it.

    Regarding flying - i was told to check my insurance to make sure it covered me, but was not told not to fly.

    Maybe it will make you feel a little better, but before i found out i was expecting, i spent the whole day at blackpool pleasure beach on all the big rides. 3 weeks later i find out i am 6-7 weeks on!!! i know it isnt the same as flying, but it must be nearly as 'bad'?
     
  10. Huddsgirl

    Huddsgirl Well-Known Member

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    i was disgusted reading this............... i would also complain she sounds like a right *$!^*.
    dontlisten to anything she says i would request another appointment, and ask if u can get someone to listen to ur little ones heartbeat.
    have some hugs
    :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  11. DaisyRose

    DaisyRose Well-Known Member

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    Hi Kimberly,

    Have just been looking around on the net abit and can't find anything like what your midwife said - a couple of articles said the safest time to travel is in 2nd tri, but I got the impression that this is largely due to the risk of miscarriage being much lower anyway, and there not being the risks of going into labour as in third tri.

    This is a quote I found from an expert on Babycenter
    Only had a quick look but that's the most specific info. I could find!

    No health prof I've ever spoken to regarding this has ever said there's a big risk!!!

    :hug:
     
  12. Squiglet

    Squiglet Well-Known Member

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    Bah the flying thing is rubbish...

    I was bleeding through my 6/7/8th week when I had Tia... it stopped and I flew to the states in my 9th week and I didn't miscarry... :shock: This time round I flew on three planes in one day at 16 weeks... I think if there is a risk to miscarriage when flying I reckon I covered it... :rotfl: and I am still very much pregnant.... :roll:

    I'd complain personally... after all she made a racist comment that you found offensive... and really as a professional she should not have said anything of the sort even if you aren't of that ethnic group...

    and as for being blunt about the baby dying well that just means shes a cow... or is jealous cos you've had more sex than her in the last year and you have proof of it.. :rotfl:
     
  13. babydust

    babydust Well-Known Member

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    :shock: :shock: :shock:
    :x :x :x :x :x :x
    omg put a complaint in that is utter rubbish she is bang out of order
     
  14. mandspice

    mandspice Well-Known Member

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    OMG, that is terrible! I would definitely report her and request a different midwife :hug:
     
  15. Kel13

    Kel13 Member

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    I think that widwife is a disgrace to her profession! I have a holiday booked to Utah in December when I'll be 8 weeks pregnant. I have spoken to the midwife, the GP and a Consultant (I was a bit paranoid about flying too). They all advised me that there should be no problem with flying as long as I wear the flight socks, drink lots of water and move around the cabin. The consultant went as far as to laugh at me (in a very nice way, he's lovely) for being so nervous!

    Even if she was right, that's a horrible, dreadful way to speak to you and if it was me I would complain to her manager. There's enough to be nervous and excited about without her downright nastiness!

    OK, off my soapbox....
     
  16. fuffins1981

    fuffins1981 Well-Known Member

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    I think that you certainly need to make a complaint. This woman may be terrorising you and others. Pregnancy should be a nice experience. Not made to worry by those who should be making you feel wonderful.

    She sounds like a terrible woman. Most women from London on here are probably nervous they will meet her too now. What a bully.
     
  17. bhe101

    bhe101 Well-Known Member

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    What an awful woman! You should get a formal complaint in asap, and demand a change of midwife.
    Its shocking that you still get people like that! It makes my blood boil!
    This is meant to be one of the best times of your life and she's ruining it! Dont let her get away with it! :x :x :x
     
  18. debecca

    debecca Well-Known Member

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    :shock: :shock: :shock:

    The thing that appals me most is her racist comments - WTF?!

    Secondly, you will find plenty of us on here who flew in the first trimester. Personally, as my baby was conceived in Mauritius, I didn't have very much choice but to fly 8000 miles to get home afterwards... :rotfl:
     
  19. DaisyRose

    DaisyRose Well-Known Member

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    Hi kimberly,

    Let us know what you decide to do? And please please don't be worried about requesting another m/w. She sounds absolutely dreadful and likely is causing lots of pregnant women unnecessary stress and worry.

    Hope your scan goes well - am assuming you're having another one soon. :hug:
     
  20. DebbieM

    DebbieM Well-Known Member

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    REPORT HER!!!!

    I would NOT let her get away with that. It was bang out of order! :evil: :evil: :evil:
     

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