Friends tyring to be supportive..

[kiki]

Hi, I had my second MC on saturday at 8 weeks (first one was last year at 12 weeks). This time I did not tell more than a few friends that I was pregnant.

One of them just sent me an e-mail trying to be supportive, but it left me in tears. She wrote to say that she was sorry about my loss, that it must be feeling really unfair that it keeps happening to me. Because it just seems that everyone of our friends have managed it without any problems.

Of course I know all my other friends have managed to do it without any problems. I don't really need to have it pointed out to me.

 

[happy-chick]

Sorry for your loss hun. Im sure your friend is only trying to be supportive as you said, its very hard to know what to say and I had some terrible things said to me when I had my m/c simply because people didn't know what to say for the best.

I had people saying 'oh your young' and 'you have plenty of time to have another' and I felt like screaming at them at the time!!

Keep your chin up hun, I understand the pain you are going through right now and it really feels like you will never find that happiness but keep positive and be strong.

 

[jenna]

Im sure your friend was only trying to seem understanding. Its hard to know the right things to say when youve never been through it yourself. So sorry for your loss hun

 

[NIE]

Sorry for your loss

I always find it difficult to know what to say. I'm sure your friend thought she was being supportive. xxx

 

[Steelgoddess]

Im so sorry about your loss...

That is a bit tactless what your friend said... Even I would find that tactless like you said you don;t need that pointing out right now do you?

If i were you I wouldn't bother replying, some people think they are trying to help but they just make things worse.

Sheesh I thought my mum was being suportive until i said to her i found it a bit difficult going shopping and see all these babies and young toddlers around and she said stop moping about it (Note that I feel i had dealt with it quite well).

If i hjave it my way next time im only telling my partner and then tell people after 4 mths...

xxx

 

[tracey 2]

i know what you mean hun, people can seem to be so supportive but never comes out right or they come out with i know how you feel etc and they have no idea, this is the reason i love this forum so many women really do understand because we have all been through it.

i do hope your ok hun, give me a shout if you want to talk just PM me anytime

 

[Happybunny]

Oh honey, you must be feeling so sad, that was an insensative thing to say. You are right, she was only trying to help, but I think people don't realise how upsetting their 'helpful' comments can be.

Coping with mc is so difficult because people who have never had one assume you should get over it quickly and just have another baby. They don't realise that the child we lost was a beautiful part of us that we will always love and remember.

I am so sorry for your loss sweetheart, it is so sad. Please pm if you ever want a friend to chat too.

 

[breezee1984]

i know what u mean...i recently had a friend send me pictures of her baby bump and her ultrasounds..it dissolved me into tears

 

[pammie]

sorry for your loss
I am in the same situation as you . i lost a baby last year and it happened again last week (confirmed saturday last week) I have had a few people being insensitive and am not sure that they know there doing it, my friend came round with 4 children who ransacked my new house and kept asking me why i lost the baby and no there mum didnt stop them just rolled her eyes and said "Kids eh well you just gotta get on with it and stop mopeing around" my other friend who has a six month old came round yesterday and kept handing me her baby and telling me what a terrible labour and child birth she had and that maybe the last 2 pregnacy's where girls and that i probably couldnt carry girls (because i have one boy) i couldnt belive it,
there have been many more coments but i am starting to belive that people think there saying things for the best and/or if they act blazae about it that it will all be ok. so am letting them go over my head
and doing this alot

Pam x