Finding out the gender

[Selina13]

Oh I so wish I had the patience for a surprise but there is no way I could. We found out with my little boy and my hubby was just as happy to find out too. Im not sure what would have happened if he didnt want to know though. :/
This time we will 100% be finding out as I loved being able to buy cute things, think of him as a little boy and pick a name. We can also know if we can reuse most of our things and what bits we need to buy and decorate the room!

Andy, I wonder if you could get the sonographer to write it in a card for you and then at a special time you could then both see it privately and together at a time that suits you both? And if you decide not to then you dont have to open it, then you havent missed the opportunity if you want to know. Xx

 

[mylullaby]

Yeah I understand, I just feel like I'm going to miss out on a huge part of something I've looked forward too for years, like I've said I don't like uncertainties and know it'll bother me throughout the pregnancy, just like it will affect her if she didn't want to know.

We've both said we are happy to do it each others way so have agreed to see how we feel at the scan if we want to find out or not. If she still doesn't want to know I'll just go with that.

I'm just thankful she doesn't have the attitude some women have seeing it as their pregnancy and the man has no say in the matter.

I think it was assumed I was trying to dictate to her what to do which again isn't the way a healthy relationship works.

You asked for an opinion and I was just throwing it out there. I absolutely didn't say that its a woman's pregnancy and the man has no say in the matter. (Although while yes you are both about to become parents, it IS the woman who is pregnant. That is an absolute fact). I'm sorry if my opinion offended you, that wasn't my intention. I was just pointing out that from a medical perspective, the anomaly scan (20 weeks) is an appointment that relates to mother and baby. My husband was present at all my scans and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I was making a point to help to support your partners view, that's all.

 

[Babbybo]

I agree with Selina's suggestion. That's what we did. At the scan we were more interested in whether everything was as it should be and when the time came I thought it would feel weird to find out there and then so we asked the sonographer to write it down. She put it in a sealed envelope& we opened it together on Christmas morning (about a month after scan. It was much more personal that way I think&worked well for us. I can see the attraction of waiting until the birth though- especially for first so make sure you think it through before yous decide as you obviously can't undo it. Goodluck with decision& enjoy it whatever yous decide!!!

 

[Selina13]

I agree with Selina's suggestion. That's what we did. At the scan we were more interested in whether everything was as it should be and when the time came I thought it would feel weird to find out there and then so we asked the sonographer to write it down. She put it in a sealed envelope& we opened it together on Christmas morning (about a month after scan. It was much more personal that way I think&worked well for us. I can see the attraction of waiting until the birth though- especially for first so make sure you think it through before yous decide as you obviously can't undo it. Goodluck with decision& enjoy it whatever yous decide!!!

Ahh thats lovely! I think we will do that this time. Its a bit impersonal and clinical finding out in front of the sonographer. We will ask them to write it down this time then share it together in private. Xx

 

[andy2016]

Thanks so much for the replies

I'm not offended at all, was just coming back with a reply as part of the discussion I think sometimes it's difficult to convey how you want something to come across online, I appreciate your point of view.

We both love the sealed envelope idea after discussing it She's all for it and thinks it's a lovely idea so thanks so much!

 

[kinkers]

We disagreed. With our first I was all for not finding out, my husband was desperate to know simply because he is too impatient to wait. He suggested that we get the sonographer to write it down on a bit of paper for him but I knew he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret - perhaps something you could do though? In the end, I just couldn't shake the feeling that I was having a boy and knew if I didn't find out then I would just carry on the whole pregnancy thinking I was having a boy and would be drawn to buying boy things - as it turns out I was having a boy and I absolutely loved being able to shop for clothes and focus on names.

 

[JulyBug]

I saw something online before my 20 week scan about what 'boy bits' look like on a scan and what 'girl bits' look like and as soon as I saw LO on the screen I saw it instantly, before she'd even said boy I knew it.. so I would avoid looking at anything like that if you really don't want to know!

 

[SoGentleNWild]

Meh, for baby stuff - even now into toddler clothes - I buy boy. I'm not putting my toddler in shorts that have the adult equivalent of a 1" inseam. If she was still in diapers, they'd hang out.

During pregnancy, the kids are called Parasite and Spawn. Or really oddball names. We go into L&D with name ideas, but well, our first and second choices for girls did not suit our DD. She's just as loved as any beloved toddler even though we called her Doyle von Frankenstein for 7 months. I got very good at saying that was baby's name by the time I delivered her.

 

[Babbybo]

Thanks so much for the replies

I'm not offended at all, was just coming back with a reply as part of the discussion I think sometimes it's difficult to convey how you want something to come across online, I appreciate your point of view.

We both love the sealed envelope idea after discussing it She's all for it and thinks it's a lovely idea so thanks so much!

You're very welcome (though i cant really take the credit as i read online about other people doing it&liked the idea). One piece of advice though-a the sonographer before they start (they will no doubt ask you but just incase) because ours turned the screen away when she had to check some measurements incase we caught a glimpse.

You might change your mind about finding out. I was the one who wanted to know and husband was happy to go along with that but once i had the envelope i settled and didn't mind not knowing. Of course by then my husband really wanted to know and we had agreed on Christmas day to find out so i didn't want to back out. It was special to find out with just us (even though my parents rang about 20seconds later and interupted the moment) Goodluck

 

[Eryinera]

For our first we were team yellow and it easy wonderful the guessing and the staring at scans trying get to find out if it really was a willy we were seeing (it was). For our second we decided to find out for a few reasons 1. We wanted this pregnancy to be different to the first 2. We had girls names but no idea on boys namea that eould of required a lot if time and effort that we didn't really have decorating the house snd with HG. 3. We wanted to prep our son by telling him he's having a sister it a brother.

I liked both ways I didn't go out and buy pink things as I was half convinced that my luck wasn't that good and and he would end up a ge. I did however it odd people congratulated me for having one of each as if I did something special hard or deliberate lol I found that very odd. Now odd have one of each if we were to have another (were not) I would probably be team yellow again if anya had been again boy I would happily find out again. There are wonderful parts to both.