Feeling Sad Today

[MrsLM]

I had a miscarriage two weeks today and feeling sad today. The last few days I haven't really thought about it, I've actually had a lovely weekend. I saw two of them 'fairy" balls of fluff, I'm not sure what they are actually called but someone posted on here that they called them fairies. I've never seen them before but seen two over the last few days ))).

I woke up today and just felt sad. I always pretend I'm a happy person even if I'm hurt inside. So I don't like showing my emotions. I told my two best friends about the miscarriage and they have been rubbish. Well actually, what can they say to make everything better?! They can't!

Fortunately I have a happy healthy 2 year old son currently sat on my lap giving me a cuddle, and now I feel guilty for being upset when I have him.

Sorry I just needed to rant, x

 

[Lou1103]

Sorry for your loss hun. Don't feel guilty about anything! There are so many conflicting emotions!

With your friends, i think in the moment you do generally feel bitter towards people, especially when in normal circumstances they make things seem better. No-one can really though with this. I think in a few weeks you may feel differently towards them & how they reacted etc. try not to push people away, it is so easy to at times.

If you feel sad, allow yourself to be sad. Try and take it easy. MAybe watch a couple of films with LO? Xxx

 

[Elliott]

Was wondering how you were doing. I have good and bad days, think most people do. And friends try but as you say it's tricky as not a lot they can do/say. Especially if they've not experienced similar.

Don't feel bad for feeling sad, it's perfectly natural to x

 

[laurat]

Sorry for your loss!! Its a complete rollercoaster of emotions and you shouldnt feel guilty for any of them. Take care of yourself. ❤️

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Hi hun, I'm in exactly the same position as you. Found out my baby had died two weeks ago tomorrow. I've had one good day out if the last two weeks. The rest I've felt depressed and emotional. I too have a little one (she two next month) and I feel guilty I feel this way. I feel snappy and like the world is passing me by at times.
What makes it even worse is my little one keeps patting my tummy and saying bubba
Everyone tells me it gets easier so I'm just clinging to that thought xxxx

 

[MrsLM]

Thank you ladies. My little one knows something is up, as he keeps asking if I'm okay and just keeps hugging me!

I've just had a text from my best friend saying she thinks she's pregnant and really doesn't want the baby.. How she's going to be depressed if she is and doesn't agree with Terminatong!!!! She does have two children already! I think perhaps she's being a little insensitive?! I'm sat here heartbroken but maybe I'm the insensitive one, maybe she needs me right now?!

Why are hormones awful sometimes cx

Tanya I hope your having a 'good' day today! Lots of doctors have said time is a great healer, which in some ways I agree with but it won't ever take the pain away! Hugs for you Hun xxxx

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Hi Hun, I think I'd feel the same about your friend but if she's never miscarried she won't understand. My friend had two and I never understood the pain and trauma it causes you and I feel guilty I wasn't more comfort to her. Life is so unfair, there's so many people that have unwanted babies all the time and we had our very much wanted ones ripped away from us.
I'm still struggling, I cried myself to sleep last night and my husband didn't even cuddle me. Don't get me wrong he has been great but I get the feeling I should be 'over it' by now. Life is kind of moving on for him and he just says we will try again. We will but it won't erase what's happened ever! He said to me I thought you were feeling better and I was like god it's only been two weeks and I'm still bleeding. That's a constant reminder and while that's still happening there's no chance of being pregnant again.
I'm just so bloody tired and emotional, dizzy and need a break. I worked straight through my whole miscarriage and I think it's starting to affect me. I'm worried I'm going to get depression again but I'm hoping its hormones making me feel crap.

Anyway sorry to rant. Just needed somewhere to let off steam where people unfortunately understand!

How are you feeling today? Xxxx

 

[MrsLM]

Morning, the thing is she has had a miscarriage! So makes it even worse. My husband said I've just got to tell her it's a raw subject for me as it was only two weeks ago I lost my baby that I wanted more than anything in the world! She said she understood but yet kept saying how scared she was etc after the text. She has a massive family support & partner so there are other people she can chat to. She messaged me after the condom split and I told her to go get the morning after pill (this was the next day after I had lost my baby) yet she was too lazy too!

You've made me feel so much better about myself! I thought 'I was the only one', felt stupid etc x Oh I'm so glad it's not just my husband!!! Again he has been fantastic but I do get the feeling he thinks I should be happy and over it now. I think when I've stopped bleeding it will be easier somehow to move on, as I won't be seeing the constant reminder?!? I'm holding onto that thought anyway and I hope it works!! Xx
Do you have to have anymore hospital appointments? I've been discharged now as my HCG level was 20 at my last blood test!
Can you not go to the doctors and try get signed off for a week or two? I'm fortunate in a way and don't work at the moment as childcare is far too expensive where I live. No matter how much I say I want to get back working etc, I'm kind of glad I don't ATM as my 3 year old keeps me very very busy x

Xxx

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Hi Hun, how are you feeling now?
I have to say I've felt so much better over the last 3 days and I think my bleeding has finally stopped. I suddenly feel like me again and I feel like I can enjoy life and my precious daughter. I'm just looking forward to ttc again and hoping it doesn't take too long to get my bfp!!

If it makes you feel better my best friend is two weeks away from her due date and has been constantly moaning to me and asking questions about things and it's been hard. I'm chuffed to bits for her to be having a baby but the moaning is getting to me cos I'd swap places any day to be pregnant!!

I've not got anymore hospital appointments. Had a scan last week and they told me to do a wee sample today which I did. I tested it myself with a fr and it was negative but I've not had any blood tests done.
I'm self employed with my own beauty business so unfortunately time off isn't easy like when you work for someone else. It means pissed off clients and no income!!
Hope you're feeling a bit better xxx

 

[MrsLM]

My bleeding has stopped and finally my body feels 'normal'! I keep thinking 'oh I should be 8 weeks' and 'just over a month until my scan' etc but I think I've felt all the anger and grieve and finally coming to terms with the ttc journey again.

I'm so glad your feeling better too! As cheesy as it I sounds I do believe 'time is a great healer' so I'm cradling that thought xx

Oh gee! That's such a hard situation, xx does she know about the miscarriage? My friend was texting me that she was feeling sick and dizzy, and it was such a cow and replied "oh gosh, it should be feeling sick and dizzy too but my baby isn't here anymore'. I felt so so bad afterwards but I can't cope with the constant texts especially when it's her fault. I know I'm being selfish and I will probably regret it in a few months but she does have other people to talk to as she's told her mum and sister!

Sorry for ranting!

Are you going to try again straight away?
Xx
Xxx