feeling rubbish :o(

[claireyfairey]

Please excuse my self pitying post, I know how annoying they are.

I just can't seem to get this parenting thing right

I'm expressing milk currently, but it's hugely time consuming. I can't manage to do it enough during the day to feed Isla breast milk at every feed. She keeps falling asleep while I'm trying to feed her - nothing I do seems to wake her, so she doesn't finish her milk and wakes up within an hour or so demanding to be fed again It's so draining and tiring!

I feel like if I could have just breastfed her, it would have been so much easier. She would just automatically be taking my breast milk and I wouldn't be fighting this losing battle. I've noticed that my milk supply seems to be diminishing already. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up for.

I hate admitting this but in some ways I am angry at her...? I just wanted to do the right thing by breastfeeding and I suppose in a way I feel rejected....and guilty, and angry, and anxious...it's horrible

It's ten past one in the afternoon and I am still in my pajamas. I am only JUST getting the chance to express, and she's had 2 formula feeds already today. I am tired and cross. My OH and I were arguing last night because of our living situation - we're with my mum and dad until the council house us. He's getting cross because he feels they're interfering. I feel like I have to hide the fact that my mum has helped me out to him. He doesn't like anyone else comforting her if she cries, helping to wind her, changing nappies, dressing/undressing her....I understand his point of view but I'm realy struggling and appreciate the help but he makes me feel guilty for accepting it. And he gets annoyed etc...

I don't really know what the point of this post is.

I feel crap. I am rubbish at this. Right now, I just want to go back to bed and hide under my duvet. But fat chance of that happening, because Isla didn't finish her last feed so is going to scream at me at about 2pm


Help.

 

[Laur_250]

Aw Claire it WILL get better! Has Isla had her op yet for the tongue tie? When she does are you gonna give bfeeding another go as she may take to it better this time which will get over the feeding issue, Reggie went to 6 weeks on EBM til he got it! I was expressing every 4 hours for the 1st 6 weeks and i think as long as you do this your supply should stay. If its really getting too much for you please dont beat yourself up if you have to go to more or all formula, its food and she will still grow up happily and healthily. And dont worry about being in your PJs its expected as a new mum and like i say it will get better. I cant help on the bit about your OH but can see why its hard for him but also for you as you need the support right now, maybe just remind yourselves you have something to look forward to, a family home, and this is only short term. Hugs to you. xx

 

[MagicMarkers]

Im in my pajamas still, the midwife didnt seem to mind when she came round, nor did the police man ( whole nother story but im not under arrest promise ) so i dont see why i should mind or you !!
And i breastfeed, believe me pajama/slouch clothes is all im going to wear unless i go out too, im getting through 10 breastpads a day because of too much milk, and ruining t shirts left right and centre !
And even then little madam wont latch properly at night so we spend hours just gumming my nipples to death and falling alseep when she finally gets herself sorted !

Remember that youve always had the choice to completely formula feed her and resisted it so your doing GREAT, and whatever breastmilk shes getting is better than nothing !

Would it help you out getting an electric pump, i know theyre a bit more pricey but it could save you hours and make it feel like less like hard work and if you could pump more your supply might increase ?

As far as Oh is concerned i spose hes just frustrated, like Reggies mummy says just remember its not forever, remind Oh that you just want to make the most of having your mums help with things BECAUSE its not forever, sort of show him theres an end in sight ?

Could ya try taking all her feeding bits upstairs n popping her in bed with ya til she needs it , changing her nappy to wake her up a bit then feeding her to maybe encourage her to finish the feed n then going straight back to bed ?

ANyways hun, i know its not been ideal for ya but i think your doing absolutely brilliant !

 

[trixipaws]

it gets easier i promise

 

[nazmomi]

I'm sorry your having such a hard time but like others have said it does get easier I promise.

I had to give up brestfeeding because of problems with my milk supply so i TOTALLY get the guilty feeling but you have no need to feel that way, Your giving your baby the best of both worlds making sure she has lots of good stuff from her mummy milk and making sure she's not hungry by toppng her up with fornula when she needs it.

I hope things start getting a bit easier for you soon

 

[jills10uk]

there are some days i don't get out of my pj's until DH comes in from work at which point i hand him the baby and leave the room. as others have said, it will get better, i too at the start when BF was so hard used to resent him wanting fed as it hurt so much.
make your OH aware that trying to do everything yourself is too hard for anyone and that everyone needs help from their parents. i couldn't live without my mum last week when after 5 hours of screaming i could dump the baby on her and take the dog for a walk to clear my head!

 

[Jen & Her Men]

dont be so hard on yourself chick! Your baby is still so tiny and only a couple of weeks old!! I was in my PJs all day long until James was about 4 weeks!!

Honestly you are doing an amazing job especially for not giving up on the boob milk thing when your LO cant feed due to her tongue tie - I have the upmost respect for you.

I know everyone says it but I promise it WILL get better. You will look back at this time in a few weeks and smile. Mummyhood is like anything new - it takes time to get used to it and to adapt to all the (huge ) changes.

Just take everyday as it comes hun. Your doing fab!

 

[claireyfairey]

Thanks girls

It's been one of those days today. I've been in tears on several occasions Argued with OH too...ugh, it's been horrible.

I think I'm going to have to really watch myself with the feeding thing. It's really eating me up inside I just don't know what to do - whether to continue expressing and stressing myself out, or whether to stop altogether. But if I stop, I know I'm going to feel guilty. God it's so hard to know what to do, whatever I do I'm going to feel upset

I just really wanted to have that bond with Isla...it's my issue, I guess I wanted to feel really needed and in some ways I feel rejected. It's so complicated and hard to explain without sounding like a complete loony

C xxx

 

[Redshoes]

I spend loads of time in my PJ's because its more time I can put towards my babies, don't think not getting dressed is a bad thing, but if it makes you feel better then take a bit of time for yourself to do that Like trixipaws says it does get easier and it does become a lot more fun and interesting as your baby's personality develops I do hope you try BF'ing again too, it sounds like a hell of a lot of work with the expressing I think your OH should butt out with any support you're getting, if he doesn't want your Mum etc doing it, then he can do it, or otherwise shussshhhh I say, there's NOTHING wrong in your having your Mum help out, she's Grandma after all, men can be so stoopid sometimes

I do think you should maybe talk to someone about your anger feelings towards Isla, maybe your HV or someone you feel you can trust, its hard in the beginning and there's so many emotions flying around its hard to know who they are meant for sometimes but you obviously love your daughter so don't be hard on yourself you are doing everything you can for her, feel proud you're doing so much for her, as hard as it is, your a good Mummy and Isla will never love anyone more than you or need anyone MORE THAN YOU so don't forget that, they all cry and scream at us at some point, they do it because they know they can because we love them unconditionally As for breast or formula, its entirely up to ypu and never feel bad for either because it does nothing to help you or baby, just make a decision and be happy with it, its not a bad thing to feed your baby formula

 

[Mildly]

I barely have time to grab a shower or even get dressed still. In fact most of the time, I do it whilst Oscar is crying

I am feeding him about every hour to two hours and most of the time if he isn't eating or sleeping he is crying because of colic He will also feeding for around 40 minutes so that gives me about 20 minutes in the hour to get other things done before feeding might start again.

Have you tried nipple shields? I only ask as that is the only way I can feed Oscar (he is tongue tied as well). It might help to try as then you won't be having to express and then bottle feed which is taking so much time.

Don't feel crap, you aren't being rubbish You are just muddling through the first weeks just like everyone does. It is true when people say having a baby is the steepest, toughest learning curve there is. I find I learn so much from Oscar every day. If I look back to the day he was born, it is crazy how well we are doing now in comparison and that is including the myriad of problems we encounter on a day to day basis.

Definitely sit your OH down and say that your Mum's help is invaluable at the moment. Let him know that the expressing is taking a lot of time out of your day and that your Mum is really helping. Tell him that if he wasn't working that you'd prefer him to be the one assisting you with Isla's needs but that not many Mums are able to do everything without help at the beginning because newborns are just so needy

Don't worry too much about your feelings at the moment. Your hormones are responsible for a lot of thoughts that you might not otherwise have without their influence. If they do linger or increase have a chat to your HV as a lot of the time just talking about these things can ease the pressure