Feeling quite sad

[Fiona]

not sure where to post this - mods please move if needed

as some you you know DH and I tried for many hears to get pregnant and it just never happened. We really gave up hope about 4 years ago and just got on with our lives... then I hit 40 and found myself pregnant and we now how the most wonderful gift of our darling daughter Grace in our lives.

After a lot of careful thought we decided not to try for anyone. We both felt so blessed to have Grace. My age is going against me (42 now) and we are worried that a second pregnangy might end up with a disabled child. We chose not to have any tests done with Grace as we knew whatever the outcome we would decide to keep the baby ... also I know that personally I woud never be able to go ahead with a terminiation. We felt that having a child that was disabled would have a real effect on Grace.... and how she grew up. I have friends whose second daughter is severly disabled and their first daughter has had so little time and attention given to her that it is quite sad. So we decided to count our blessing and stop trying. (although if we had been younger we always wanted 3 or 4)

then this month we had a bit of an accident with the old contraception and then my period was late and I convinced myself that I was pregnant, although two tests said otherwise... then af arrived today....... and now I feel so sad that I am not pregnant ..... I am so suprised how I feel and it has now made me think that maybe we have made the wrong decision. But I can't help but think that this is a selfish feeling as I would love another baby but that I am not thinking with my head....... does any of this make sense ???

just wanted to write down really how things are .. I feel so heartbroken tonight that I am not pregnant

 

[Krystal]

Maybe seriously rethink your position on it, I know the risk increases with age of having a disabled child but every pregnancy has it's risks really. You not old, a lot of women have children at your age and it's becoming more common too.

Good luck whatever you decide sweety

 

[DebbieM]

I'd perhaps have a chat with your OH and see if he feels the same way and if so maybe re-think what you want to do. He may feel the same and as previously said, not all pregnancies in over 40 year olds end up with disabled babies.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Lola's Mummy]

I agree, You should speak to your OH and let him know how you feel

 

[trixipaws]

im sure thats normal- iv seemed to notice that women who get pregnant by accident and then miscarry- decide to ttc afterwards, altho they wouldnt have if the "accident" hadnt happened.
i think i mightve done- my pregnancy wasnt planned, and also i had some bad habits very dangerous to unborn babies- and i was in such a panic thru first tri as altho i hadnt wanted a baby at that time, once she was there the maternal kicked in- i went from being zero-interest-in-babies-for-now to being all broody! i think if i had miscarried i wouldve wanted to start ttc, even tho i wouldnt have done had the pregnancy not occurred.
it must be some primal spark that kicks in even at the first hint of pregnancy, i can totally see what u mean.

 

[Tangerinedream]

Like the other girls have said, see how your OH feels about another...

 

[valentine]

Absolutely, I understand how you feel - please talk to your OH.

Good luck - do you think he'll feel similar?

Valentine Xxx

 

[Sophie1102]

Just wanted to let you know that my aunt had her third at 43 and her little girl is now 13 and she is absolutely fine.

Godd luck x x x