feeling pretty down about feeding again (bit long)

[laracomps]

I was doing ok until last night. Don't know if its cos i'm tired, or because i've been ill since saturday - but my husband left me to get a drink from the kitchen, and came back to find me balling my eyes out. He paniced and thought something was wrong with Phoebe.

But it was just me thinking about the bfeeding again. I have so many regrets. I wish I'd realised so much sooner that I'd end up having to mixed feed.

I feel like it was a mistake topping her up at 6 days with formula - albeit on the advice from the mw's. I didn't realise it was normal for them to constantly feed at that stage. And although she had lost more than 10% of her weight, I just wonder if I had carried on how I was whether things would have been ok.

I feel it has gone to far the other way to rectify now, I am too tired to express after every feed - not that I feel it made a difference anyway, plus Phoebe is feeding so frequently, there would be no end to the feeding, and probably no milk left for her next time. Even the NCT lady I spoke to seemed to think it would be very hard to turn around due to the amount of formula she will take.

Now she is suffering with bad wind, which I'm sure is caused by having bottles. What with that, and all the constant warnings on milk websites, the side of the milk cans etc about breast being best - it has made me feeling like a bad Mum. I know deep down I'm not. Maybe I'm just having a bad day, being ill hasn't helped.

How much breast milk do they need to get benefits? I am feeding her as much as I can during the day, but she always takes a top up. Its so hard to tell how much she is having.

I am dreading the day my milk goes. How long does it take? So far, a week on, I still seem to be OK.

Sorry for having a massive winge I don't think anyone else really understands. (& Thanks for reading)

 

[Krystal]

sorry your having a tough time, i'm sure she is getting plenty of benefits from the breast feeding you are giving her. hopefully someone a little more experienced will offer some advice for you

 

[muppetmummy]

dont feel bad, you've done brilliantly to perservere. i topped up logan on days 1-4

 

[DebbieM]

Even as little as 3oz of breast milk a day is of great benefit to a baby so don't worry! She is still getting huge benefits from you!!!!!!

 

[Squiglet]

she is still getting loads of benefit hun... Just because you top up doesn't mean that your baby is worse off... in fact you kinda get the best of both worlds....a content baby with all the benefits of boob milk.

Not everyone can exclusively bf'd their babies for 6 months... I can't say that lil miss has been exclusively bf'd because she was given formula in her first few days by the SCBU staff (because they said she was a big hungry baby and needed it) and I had to work very hard to eliminate those top ups... she was having top ups like you're LO at every meal too... but even though her colic got slightly better after I dropped the formula feeds, it never went till she was 2 months

Tia was also a top up baby... and when you have big hungry babies its hard to keep them satisfied. She had a top up after every meal too and I never cut back until she was weaned and I was able to replace the formula with food Also my milk never went... Your body adjusts to how much your baby is having and as long as you keep feeding you will continue to produce milk.

Even if you can't rectify it now.... you are still bfing and a lot of women don't even get that far... so applaud yourself and realise that even one bf a day is worth it...

 

[laracomps]

thank you all.

i guess things are just not as I imagined them to be. And as I said, keep seeing all the warnings about formula milk has been making me feel even worse. I know they can't be seen to be encouraging formula, but it does make it emotionally hard - for me anyway!

Midna - already have some of the Dr browns bottles. They seem to have helped. We have just bought some different milk also on recommendation of the HV (hope this helps, HV is a bit strange, she looks like Yoda! so I don't have complete faith!!).

I will keep plodding along as I am. I have tried bfeeding her more and more during the day, but she ends up screaming SO hard it breaks my heart, especially when I know she's emptied me.

She is a pest, and even bottle feeding her isn't easy! At the moment she takes over an hour to drink her top up, but every time i think she is finished she cries for milk, takes 2 sucks and then shes finished with it again. I think this is because of the wind, i think maybe she is feeding/sucking for comfort. And all the newborn teats are still too fast a flow, so feed time is very messy with milk spurting out of her mouth!

I think she's gonna be a little madam

 

[Urchin]

You're doing great, I'm sure she's getting loads of your milk and all the goodness it contains.
If you let her feed as much as possible, your supply shouldn't diminish further. Have you thought about fenugreek? I've not tried it but I know some people swear by it for boosting milk.

Give yourself a break, you're doing your very best and that's great

 

[laracomps]

I've tried fenugreek. It didn't make much difference apart from making me stink of curry, and giving me the poos! Hence to say I stopped taking it. I can still taste it now

 

[Lola's Mummy]

Have you tried going to bed with her for the day? I used to do this with my LO if she was having a growth spurt etc just stay in bed all day with some dvd's

 

[BabyMagic]

Hope you are feeling a little better now

You are doing great. You are NOT a bad mother. Try to keep positive. At least you are trying and giving your LO some breastmilk. And perhaps you can go bfing exclusively as even adoptive mothers can breastfeed with persevering. On the other hand please don't be hard on yourself.

I like Lola's Mummy's suggestion about staying in bed for a day - I think you both would deserve it.

Keep it going!!!

 

[Urchin]

Hows it going now?

Oatmeal is said to help... get the flapjacks out mmmmm also make sure you're drinking LOADS.

 

[laracomps]

its going ok thanks...

we stayed in bed today until from 6.30 - 11. she only woke for boob to be rammed back in her gob lol. how much she was actually 'feeding' i don't know, as she uses me as a dummy a lot.

if things continue as they are then i think i am happy enough. its just the thought of having to stop bfeeding altogether which haunts me. i love the way she cuddles my boob when she feeds

HV is coming to watch her feeding from a bottle later as we are having probs with that too. milk all spurts out of her mouth where she isn't swallowing often enough. she ends up drenched! she has awful wind, & falls asleep / stops drinking before she is full. screams for it 5 mins later, takes a few mouthfuls then stops. this can go on for at least an hour! by which time, she's not had enough, and its time to throw the milk away! she is also sick a fair amount when i lie her down, so HV thinks she might have a bit of reflux

i have been eating oaty cakey things thanks - when i get a chance that is! she is so unsettled at the mo, i suddenly realise i've not eaten or drunk anything for hours, and am about to wee oneself lol. the joys of having children