Hi
All a bit complicated and timing really off. Please x ref to my other posts in relation to ttc and blighted ovum. I might ramble a bit .. Bear with me.
Problem is now wedding stuff on top of mc which is just ridiculous. I was pregnant and due March 2016 . Wedding pencilled in end of Oct 16 which would have given me 7 mths after birth. But now not to be so.... Background is ...We have been engaged since April and thought we'd like to get something booked in advance as you do. We found the perfect venue and have been planning all the details and the venue we chose allows you to reserve the date for 2 weeks. My miscarriage has occurred literally 2 days away from us confirming the Oct booking and paying a hefty deposit. My fiances family have been badgering us for a date etc since we announced the engagement . They love a party. I ve even had fiance's grandma saying hurry up in case I snuff it before and miss out (!) no pressure. So in light of mc I said to fiance thank goodness we haven't booked anything, it must have been fate as we nearly booked a few days ago and then did a last minute accommodation check. We would have lost a large sum of money. Tell the manager our situation and we ll rearrange. My fiance who I adore and is normally the most rational level headed person has said why change date ??? !!! So basically he doesnt get it. Hes been brilliant about the mc etc but re wedding penny hasnt dropped. Nor for his family unfortunately. My parents totally get why it should be postponed. They say babies first wedding whenever. i heard his mum on phone saying well its no big deal these days if you re a pregnant bride. !!!
So I have a list of objections, which are my personal opinions, about this which I have said over and over very clearly to my fiance. They are- March birth was ok but still pressure would have been on looking after first baby, losing weight preparing for wedding etc but would have been ok because so happy obv, we would have muddled through. Hopefully. Now at the very earliest in my opinion even if we conceive quite quickly we re looking at a July birth. Cutting it fine methinks even if Oct nov conception, bearing in mind im having a medically managed mc tomorrow. I would be really happy if we click again Jan or Feb 16 of which there are no guarantees. Im 40.
So there is a good chance I could be visibly or heavily pregnant come Oct. brill but not if getting married its all too much. I have chosen a gorgeous gown which is NOT a maternity one which I wouldnt want to change. I dont think a bump looks nice sorry i think its a bit trashy. My photos would look awful. My mum agrees she didnt dream of her daughters wedding looking like that. I would be tired stressed possible bad hair skin, bloated ankles face, you name it. Thats the vanity side as well as how you feel. I want to look and feel glamorous.
Then theres the medical side of it, definite stress of wedding planning, tiredness, pre eclampsia, bed rest, premature baby possible, breast feeding, c section recovery, lack of sleep. The list goes on. The main person ie me the bride probably having a compromised wedding day while everyone else has a great time and its cost us £12k.
Fiance says he understands but ill look beautiful regardless. He is convinced we ll click straight away so there will be plenty of time. He wants us to get married sooner rather than later which is lovely. He thinks im being pessimistic about everything because of the miscarriage.
I think there is no way we can do it all. Babies with as little stress as possible is the way to go. I feel tense when I think about weddings and more relaxed when I think its on a back burner just postponed not cancelled.
Hes said we ll discuss it again Sat. I said I won't change my mind regardless. Im scared we re going to fall out over this. He wants me to just cave in but i wont. No way.
All a bit complicated and timing really off. Please x ref to my other posts in relation to ttc and blighted ovum. I might ramble a bit .. Bear with me.
Problem is now wedding stuff on top of mc which is just ridiculous. I was pregnant and due March 2016 . Wedding pencilled in end of Oct 16 which would have given me 7 mths after birth. But now not to be so.... Background is ...We have been engaged since April and thought we'd like to get something booked in advance as you do. We found the perfect venue and have been planning all the details and the venue we chose allows you to reserve the date for 2 weeks. My miscarriage has occurred literally 2 days away from us confirming the Oct booking and paying a hefty deposit. My fiances family have been badgering us for a date etc since we announced the engagement . They love a party. I ve even had fiance's grandma saying hurry up in case I snuff it before and miss out (!) no pressure. So in light of mc I said to fiance thank goodness we haven't booked anything, it must have been fate as we nearly booked a few days ago and then did a last minute accommodation check. We would have lost a large sum of money. Tell the manager our situation and we ll rearrange. My fiance who I adore and is normally the most rational level headed person has said why change date ??? !!! So basically he doesnt get it. Hes been brilliant about the mc etc but re wedding penny hasnt dropped. Nor for his family unfortunately. My parents totally get why it should be postponed. They say babies first wedding whenever. i heard his mum on phone saying well its no big deal these days if you re a pregnant bride. !!!
So I have a list of objections, which are my personal opinions, about this which I have said over and over very clearly to my fiance. They are- March birth was ok but still pressure would have been on looking after first baby, losing weight preparing for wedding etc but would have been ok because so happy obv, we would have muddled through. Hopefully. Now at the very earliest in my opinion even if we conceive quite quickly we re looking at a July birth. Cutting it fine methinks even if Oct nov conception, bearing in mind im having a medically managed mc tomorrow. I would be really happy if we click again Jan or Feb 16 of which there are no guarantees. Im 40.
So there is a good chance I could be visibly or heavily pregnant come Oct. brill but not if getting married its all too much. I have chosen a gorgeous gown which is NOT a maternity one which I wouldnt want to change. I dont think a bump looks nice sorry i think its a bit trashy. My photos would look awful. My mum agrees she didnt dream of her daughters wedding looking like that. I would be tired stressed possible bad hair skin, bloated ankles face, you name it. Thats the vanity side as well as how you feel. I want to look and feel glamorous.
Then theres the medical side of it, definite stress of wedding planning, tiredness, pre eclampsia, bed rest, premature baby possible, breast feeding, c section recovery, lack of sleep. The list goes on. The main person ie me the bride probably having a compromised wedding day while everyone else has a great time and its cost us £12k.
Fiance says he understands but ill look beautiful regardless. He is convinced we ll click straight away so there will be plenty of time. He wants us to get married sooner rather than later which is lovely. He thinks im being pessimistic about everything because of the miscarriage.
I think there is no way we can do it all. Babies with as little stress as possible is the way to go. I feel tense when I think about weddings and more relaxed when I think its on a back burner just postponed not cancelled.
Hes said we ll discuss it again Sat. I said I won't change my mind regardless. Im scared we re going to fall out over this. He wants me to just cave in but i wont. No way.
