Feeling low at night...

[Steelgoddess]

Hi everyone!

Im getting better at this Mummy thing and don't feel so down about things now yah!

However during the night i get SO LOW... Last night was horrible, Hayden kept waking and was't settling very well, I was trying everything but when I woke to feed him during the night I was so exhausted and all that goes through my head is negativity ie: He's hevy i might drop him, hes asleep now but when I put him down he'll wake up, I can't do this, you're crap (ie me). It's horrible in the end I had to wake poor OH up (who had work in a few hours) and tell him to take over. i felt like such a failure and often do on nights like that.

What worrys me also is sometimes (And please don;t hate me for this) I feel like walking out I guess its more that i want to do the best for him, and not get angry, i never get angry at him as I understand he's only mini and needs me, just at the situation. (Not walking out completly just leaving and going for a drive away from the crying in the night)

Daytimes are great if hes moody or what not I just bounce him around and sing silly songs to him, I don't want him to think im a monster at night and think Daddy needs to rescue him!!

Help?

P.s The other thing is he only wakes once sometimes twice in the night so hes very good

 

[NICCI]

awwww sweetie that is totally normal i still have nights like that!!!!!
its hard being woken up at night! OH sometimes comments on how negative i can be but its hard when they wont settle!!
u r doinga grt job and its grt to have u back xxxxxx

 

[Charlie:-)]

Not sure if I can help but I don't quite understand why he's crying so much during the night? Is it because he is hungry, or needs his nappy changing? Surely he would then stop crying once fed and cleaned or does he cry constantly during the night or is it that his crying is just normal baby behavior but you're too tired at night time? Sorry I don't really understand but it really does get much easier as each week passes by

 

[NickyB]

You could try co-sleeping? I don't personally, but if he's not hungry and just wants his mum and dad, it might help you guys?

 

[LisaJ1986]

I'm the same. Last night she was up every hour, then between 2.30am and 3.30 she was up 3 times, from 3.30am-4.30 she screamed constantly. I was a mess by the time she went to sleep. I just burst into tears. I laid her in the middle of the bed and ignored her for a minute coz i needed to pull myself together.

Then when she was finally asleep i cried again coz i feel like i'm an awful mother and she deserves better. At one point i laid her between me and OH, she finally settled so i laid down next to her and she rolled to face me and screamed! I got out of bed and stormed to the bathroom coz i felt like she hated the fact i was there! She stopped crying when i left the room.

I the early days with the 2 hourly feeds i had my laptop next to the bed and had games on the screen. If i felt that shattered i'd play on them to keep myself busy.

 

[Steelgoddess]

I'm the same. Last night she was up every hour, then between 2.30am and 3.30 she was up 3 times, from 3.30am-4.30 she screamed constantly. I was a mess by the time she went to sleep. I just burst into tears. I laid her in the middle of the bed and ignored her for a minute coz i needed to pull myself together.

Then when she was finally asleep i cried again coz i feel like i'm an awful mother and she deserves better. At one point i laid her between me and OH, she finally settled so i laid down next to her and she rolled to face me and screamed! I got out of bed and stormed to the bathroom coz i felt like she hated the fact i was there! She stopped crying when i left the room.

I the early days with the 2 hourly feeds i had my laptop next to the bed and had games on the screen. If i felt that shattered i'd play on them to keep myself busy.

Thanks everyone for your replioes...

Lisa im so glad u posted that cause thats just how I feel!!! thought I might have to report myself to the nspcc or whatever its called so although its not nice glad im not the only one that feels like this...

Oh sorry I didnt make myself clear... Hes a very good baby but gets grumpy when he has wind, OH is A pro at getting those burpees out but I find it a bit hard at times so try different things. Hopefully he'll have a better night tonight, normally when he is feed and changed he is fine but its the evil windeeze that does it...

xx

 

[Suzie and Faith]

you are a fantastic mum. I know exactly how you feel, sometimes i want to walk away and it is so hard not to and sometimes i have to get OH to take over because i don't feel i can cope any more. BUT the fact that you get your OH to help just shows ho much you love Hayden.

being a mum is so tough, but it does get a lot easier, i promise xxxx

 

[Mildly]

I know how you feel, i am rubbish at stopping Oscar crying but OH is a pro. It normally comes down to wind too! I am going to get some gripe water to see if that helps me get his burps out properly. I'm sure it is all part of being a Mum hun

 

[Charlie:-)]

Have you tried infacol? It worked wonders with Maia's wind, I struggled to get it up but my OH somehow seemed to be better at it than me. Infacol makes all the tiny air bubbles stick together to create one big one which is easier to get up. You can get it from the supermarket or chemsit. I forget how hard it was in the beginnig and to be honest the first couple of months are a bit of a haze in my mind and I felt a bit like a rabbit caught in headlights at the time but it does get easier and a lot more enjoyable particularly when you get your first smile Youre doing the right thing getting your OH to take over and if you feel like going out for a drive then go, my friend used to do exactly that when her son was crying and she couldnt settle him, even in the middle of the night.

 

[clarey]

OH's are probably more relaxed about it which in turn makes baby more relaxed and those burps pop out more easily, it was the same for us, really got my nerves after all the effort i put in for him to take over and work like magic lol!

I still get stressed from time to time, sometimes i go and lay down with her on the sofa or spare bed till she falls asleep or we both do, I feel calmer resting myself and put her back in her cot at some point as I dont sleep well cosleeping. I get angry but not really with her just with the situation, its so frustrating and obviously doesnt help them back to sleep!

Def give infacol a go, it was a lifesaver for us but can take a few days to work as it has an accumulative effect

 

[Hazel]

At 4am when I'm sat there trying to wind a crying baby I usually want to divorce my husband for just suggesting something to help. I'm being a moody mare but who isn't on little sleep? I'm sure you're feeling the same as almost every other new mum.

 

[jills10uk]

infacol is genious, i have a baby who is tight with his wind too and it would bother him and he would be awake all night and i would be the same, resentful, angry, then feel guilty and eventually waking dh up so i could get out of the room but we are on day 4 of infacol and it seems ( ) to be making a bit of a difference as the wind is coming up and going down rightly!!!

and for the record, you are NOT a bad mother, nor should you feel bad, we're all in this together and i have plenty of hugs and support for you

 

[Kimberly]

You're not a bad mum! I think those feelings are pretty common. It is SO hard in those early weeks and I for one was not prepared for how hard the sleepless nights would be. It really does get better as time goes on. August still isn't sleeping all night, but he usually sleeps 5-6 hours and it really makes a difference.

I agree with trying Infacol. I always had trouble getting the wind up as well, but the Infacol really helped.

Hang in there.

 

[trixipaws]