Feeling anxious *tmi*

[Sprk]

Ok so here goes. It's a bit of a read and I don't want to put anyone off - it's a little traumatic.

With my first, I was induced at 37 weeks, because my dr was worried I would develop pre- eclampsia. I don't think my body was quite ready. Lots of pitocin (I think called sintocin here), pessearies too. My waters did break on their own, but I was only 1 cm when that happened. I was offered an epidural at 2 cm (about 6hours into the process). The epi was a godsend for the backaches, but I think it also slowed down labor because I had it so early. After 25 hours I was finally ready to push (which was good because my dr wasn't going to let me labor any longer due to infection risk). All of a sudden dd's heart rate went way down during each contraction and wasn't coming back up in between. He looked at me and said she had to come out NOW, so I consented to a section. Turns out she turned face first and was stuck. I don't regret it at all, she was born healthy within minutes and I was fine too. It was just such a traumatic experience. I was scared and felt so out of control. When they told me she was born and showed me to her, I was so drugged up that just looked at her and went back to sleep. After I came around, dh brought her to me I was in shock. I feel like I really missed out on that initial bonding experience and it took weeks to over come it. It took even longer for me to stop blaming myself for needing a section. I know and knew it wasn't anybody's fault and there is nothing wrong with having a c sec, but I couldn't help feeling like a failure in some way.

So I'm sat here today, worrying about a repeat experience. We don't have a planned induction this time, I still want an epidural, but am afraid of another traumatic experience. The anesthetist said I am more likely to require a section because of my history and bmi. I am trying to keep my oil for Dh's sake - he gets in a panic whenever I get bh. I just don't know how to ease some this anxiety.

 

[mum2b410]

Hun- I can totally relate! I had induction as u know but at 42 weeks! 3 pessaries, waters artificially broken, epidural and the drip- 13 hours later I could push- heart rate kept dropping and the room filled with people! I managed to push with forceps and an episiotomy and got him out and we were both fine! I was then sick afterwards from all the drugs and super tired after 3 days of it!..

 

[mum2b410]

Grrr- that's chopped off the main part of my post!!!

 

[mum2b410]

I was basically trying to say that I'm anxious too as I'm overdue now and facing induction again at 42 weeks- so I get where you're coming from! I'm trying to say to myself to just get through whatever I have to to get my little bubba here and that all the worrying in the world won't give me the control I want over the situation! That plus the fact that second births tend yo be easier! Also find that focusing beyond what's worrying me helps too- so keep trying to imagine bringing your beautiful baby home and labour is over and done with! Its v hard I know but u will b brave and u will do it and u know its all worth it in the end! *hugs*

 

[Black Panther]

On many websites I read that it is the Pitocin/Syntocin which makes the contractions stronger and more frequent than they would be without it, and this in turn would distress the baby.

Also that the epidural will weaken contractions so they give you the Pitocin/Syntocin to make them strong and the same problem (distressed baby) will happen.

 

[Sprk]

Black Panther- you're right, the drop increases the intensity of contractions, which can be distressing to baby, put it is par the course for inductions. In turn, I think people are more likely to ask for an epidural early ( like I did).

Mum 2b- let's hope we both can escape another induction. I'm trying desperately hard to not think about it and stay relaxed.
I saw the anesthetist yesterday, and we agreed another epidural would be good for me. Me, because I want pain relief and him because if I need another emergency section, the epidural would already be in place. I think I was doing OK until he started talking about the chances of needing another c section and that because it's been so long since my last lo, my body is likely to act like this is my first ( and have another long labour :-\ )
Here's to trying to stay positive

 

[Sprk]

And your right, in end it will all be worth it.

 

[ema-lou24]

Aw I'm sorry your feeling this way . How many years difference is there between your 1st and this one?
I was informed of the same due to there being 8 years between my 1st born and my 2nd. I haven't had a traumatic experience as you both when it came to actual labour, but I've had a terrible experience regarding induction with my 2nd to the point I really don't want another induction despite being repeatedly told it might not be the same....yes I understand that but it isn't a guarantee so I don't even want to risk it! I got induced with my 1st as I was 11 days over. When I got checked I was already 3cm so was given choice to go home and see if I started myself or be ARM'd. ..cos I lived a distance and had worked myself up I just asked them to break my waters. I didn't need the drip, I failed to progress at the pushing stage so needed ventouse and an episiotomy. I had to go on a drip after birth as I lost more than 500 ml of blood and was kept in for 3 days.
So when I was pregnant with my 2nd, 8 yrs later, I had GD with her along with slow growth, low amniotic fluid and severe SPD so I had to be induced at 39 weeks, but the hospital I'm at kept telling me that the reason for induction was due to GD causing still birth, I'm not lying when I say they told me at every internal/check! They literally scared the living daylights out of me. Then told me as it was my 2nd it would be quick then "but oh wait your body will think it's a 1st labour due to the gap"...Oh cheers! So I went in to be induced on the Tues morning, 6 doses of prostin gel and 5 days later I was still nowhere near the labour ward. I felt mentally and physically drained from all the internals and the fake contractions that the Prostin gel gives you. Seemingly the problem they had was my cervix was still long, and she wasn't engaged so they where able to push her head away and the cord was lying where her head should be so it wasn't safe to break them.
I had another internal on Saturday morning, 3 days before my actual due date so I was now up to 90 with worry thanks to their reminders of early inductions for GD despite it not really being that much early! And they told me they could now break waters but I might labour longer as my cervix was still long or I could have another go at the gel and wait 6 hrs before attempting to break waters. I told them I'd rather be in labour for 6 hrs and at least gain something than lying on a bed waiting for gel to do nothing. ...In the 5 days I was in, it literally done nothing to my cervix and didn't dilate me either. Once in labour it progressed quickly nd by 9pm she was born without any complications or intervention.
But it was the process leading up to the actual labour that I feel I cannot mentally more than anything, deal with.
My consultant has said this time cos I don't have GD I'm allowed to go over if things stay the way they are and if I need induced due to being late then they will attempt to break waters and if no joy will be a c section as I have expressed I do not want any off that gel stuff near me.
But now I'm in a situation where my previous back condition and severe SPD is ruining any sort of independence I had, I can't bend or walk far, I'm struggling to even wipe my own bum and through the tears I said to my OH if my consultant offered me an induction I'd snap his hands off...so im sort of all over the place.

I'm so sorry I seem to have spammed your post. What I'm trying to say is although my 1st labour was nowhere near as traumatic as yours, it still put me off enough to not want to do it again for 8 years. ..but once I finally got into labour with my 2nd it was amazing and I really hope my 3rd is similar, but no pregnancy/birth is the same.
I really hope this time everything goes well for you and you can avoid that dreaded induction...and hopefully have your well deserved VBAC delivery xx

 

[JD.Deedee]

On many websites I read that it is the Pitocin/Syntocin which makes the contractions stronger and more frequent than they would be without it, and this in turn would distress the baby.

Also that the epidural will weaken contractions so they give you the Pitocin/Syntocin to make them strong and the same problem (distressed baby) will happen.

The Pitocin not only makes them stronger and more frequent, hence why baby gets tired and at some point can not recover in between the contractions (distressed stage), also because it's synthetic it doesn't give you the benefits from natural contractions which should also release endorphins during birthing which acts as a pain reliever and such. Also during natural birth which is then speed up by pitocin the release of endorphins is then stopped. I've also seen it being called a shortcut to a section.

I would try and book an appointment to be seen by the consultant and briefly go over your previous labour and explain your worries for this labour coming. It may be perhaps easier to put some different birthing plans together. What decisions you will make when you labour naturally, what if you go overdue and they want to induce you (same thing can easily happen in that occasion too due to how inducing works) or perhaps in any situation where they want to induce you, you can either try again and say if it doesn't progress quick enough ect ect. after so many hours or immediately from when they do want to induce that you want a section instead.

Just to put your mind at ease, am quick sure they will be willing to help you set up the right choices and possibilities so you can go into your labour with a peace of mind knowing you and your baby will not get into the distressed state you've last been. Hope everything will plan out well for you and that you'll have an easy(ier) labour this time around x

 

[Hutchy]

I can relate, I had to have a section due to baby being stuck and couldn't progress past 4cm after 9 hours on a drip, I had an epidural and then a spinal to have the section, neither worked so I had to be put to sleep, so neither me or my husband were there when he was born, I didn't get to see him until he was nearly an hour old, was awful!
I worry now that if I try for a VBAC the baby will get stuck and I'll end up with a section, or if I opt for an elective section I won't be able to look after the baby and our toddler properly due to recovery time!

At least you have some experience of labour, even if it is traumatic, that's a small silver lining! I keep thinking, right if I need a section I know how I will feel afterwards etc! All the best to you though xxx