F* off! [This title has been edited by admin]

[Del]

I'm so pissed off right now. All my life Ive always been the person to go running to my friends when ever they need me and even just to chill out. I'd walk for miles just for the sake of it. When I was younger and at school it didn't really bother me as I'd like to be out the house anyway. But now I'm pregnant 3 days away from dd and I haven't had one of my friends come and visit me in the past 7 months maybe more. I still made the effort and went to them. Well I thought it would be understandable that I only ask them to come my house (I've got my own place as well) to me see as I'm too big to waddle around as much but I always get excuses like they got cleaning to do etc. it upsets me so much and makes me think am I doing something wrong as a friend?? Am I askin for to much?? Or am I just bein a baby about the situation when my friends were pregnant I kept in touch all the time asking them how they are and if they needed me id be here. But no one has done that for me. I feel so alone right now and would just love someone to talk to but no one seems interested.

 

[Hunnie]

When pregnant I found out who my true friends were. I had one friend who didnt talk to me for months and as soon as I had my baby she was over at my house all the time, constantly texting and talking to me etc. As soon as my LO got to about 6 weeks old she stopped bothering coming over and texting me as much and since then ive seen her twice!

I've come to the realisation that blood is thicker than water and I'd rather have my baby any day rather than friends who don't make the effort. I take each day as it comes and find the forum very helpful for me to feel like I'm socialising in some other form xxx

 

[Del]

Yeah that's exactly what is happening one of my so called friends has recently got in touch past few days and asked me to text when ive had the baby so she can come round and meet her. But im a bit specticle of what to do about cos I no in a few weeks time she will get bored again. I haven't been one to have loads of friends anyway but I did have a lot of confidence and now I have nothing and it only seems to be getting worse now I have pretty much no friends. Luckily I have a great OH who tries to encourage me to go out and meet new people and I said I want to go to mother and baby classes and meet other new mums to. Ive just lost all my confidence and yeah least we can socialise on here but even this was a last minute thing before I went insane lol xx

 

[LikeJohnnYoko]

I'm wondering if actually, you give a lot to these people all the time, but they never really gave back to you. Is it possible that you were so busy going the extra mile (or 10) for other people that you didn't notice they didn't give you any care?

It sounds like you've had some very unequal friendships where you've been a carer and a counsellor to them, but without any expectation or equality given back to you in return and now you're not capable of making the effort they've dropped you.

I'm sorry you have this to contend with, it's very upsetting - hopefully with the arrival of your little one, you can look forward to creating some new, mutually beneficial friendships with others.

 

[Del]

Yeah you are probably right LJY maybe I was that busy running around for them they didn't think they would have to make an effort because I was happy to do it. Also I'm the kind of person that likes things to be done right not controlling just the satisfaction of knowing it has deffinately been done. But yeah your right once my baby is here and I build my confidence back up n get out there in the world I deffinately would love to meet other mums and make some new friendships

 

[Sammyxo]

I've definitely felt friendships fading away since becoming pregnant. I've pretty much got 90% of my friends not talking to me just because they can't relate to having a baby and probably just aren't interested in anything other than nights out and fashion. Finally this week a couple of friends have said they'll come over, think it's more to gossip about how big I am etc. as nobody has seen me yet. Other than that they never ask how I am feeling, a lot of them say 'let me know when you've had the babies and i'll come and visit' - which I find really offensive. They can't be bothered to see me before but I should 'let them know' once I've had my babies so they can find time in their clearly busy schedules to then see the babies, not me!
I even have one girl who is 6 years younger than me (and been desperate for a baby since she was 15) so jealous of me I always get these spiteful messages from her asking how I am and saying how bloody greedy I am for having two, like I planned it! I'm surprised she hasn't asked to buy one of my babies yet!

Anyway, I'm glad i'm finding out who my real friends are. My best friend of many years and I had a bit of a fall out before I fell pregnant and when I announced it on Facebook everyone but her said congratulations, I just thought that was pathetic as no matter what I would have congratulated her.

I'm looking forward to making new friends who have the same interests as me. Blood is definitely thicker than water as others have said, family is and has always been the most important thing to me!

 

[mumsy4]

Aw hun I'm like that everybody's councillor and best friend when they need to talk about things, but when it's me I feel like they are looking past me at a clock on the wall. One of my friends I'm really surprised at her behaviour, she hasn't spoken to me this whole time, I think out of jealously but then text me the other day about a passport form and asking advice. I just ignored her. I think she knows now that Im pissed, she tried calling twice as well and I thought u know what NO ring someone else with your problems.
Once baby is here u should get out and go to mother and tots and stuff u will meet people in the same boat, and won't feel as lonely or isolated. It's a shame your friends haven't made an effort I know how it feels, but they will soon miss you when the next drama occurs and you dont respond xx

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Del]

Sammy- congrats on your twins!!! That's great news double blessed lol. Twins are in my boyfriends family genesso glad Im not carrying twins lol I don't think I would have the will power to cope with double the hormones lol. And it's nice to know I'm not the only one who in this boat. I find it unbelievable how pathetic some people could be and change so quickly when they should know there needed. See I admit when I was younger I was all about going out with my friends than spending time with my family. But know I've grew up and realised what's important to me I get along with my family perfectly and I love it. I'm glad my life has turned out this way I wouldn't change anything. But eveybody needs friends and as I'm learning friends come and go in and out your life all your life. Family are always there and right now that's all i need. So chin up girly I know the feeling!!! Xxx

Mumsy - my so call best friend has been in touch a lot this week she even said to me yesterday that she's doing a bail course and will need someone to practise on I was like ermm well I'm due to have a baby in 2 days lol. She also text after several months of no contact asking when my due date was and that I need to and her a pic as soon as I've had her. I was extremely pissed of with the cheek of it and did reply with a slightly bitchy text saying I can't afford picture messages :-/ I left it after that and she tried sucking up but i realised when my babys here ill have my own little family and I'm sure it will be enough. But yeah I know your right I deff want to get to some mum and baby classes I'm in need of a good mummy rant lol xxx

 

[saraian26]

I think that takes the piss tbh - why should you be running around making an effort when your due in a few days?

I toally agree with the lady above - when you have the baby you soon see who your real friends are, I dropped a ton of people after i had my first cos they just took me for granted.

 

[BellaRiven]

Yup I do the same, I go to see my 'friends' they dot come to see me, since baby has been born my so called 'BFF' has seen him once he is ten weeks old, she can however make the effort to see one of her other friends two roads away..

I have started going to baby groups and baby massage now and I am making new friends.

I have thought for. A long time that friends come into your life to bring something to you, they leave when their task is done, I also don't stress anymore about always calling them or always going to see them instead of them coming to me, if they want to see me then I wait for their call, if their desperate enough they will call..

If you need anyone to rant to you can always pm me x x x

 

[Princess81]

Being pregnant certainly hi lights true friendships. It's sad to hear how many of us are left disappointed x

 

[Gemilou]

I have a friend like this, when she was getting married it was all about her and being a good friend I made sure we spoke about nothing else from beginning to end, when I get engaged and start planning my wedding (about a year after) she decided it was time to try for a baby, fair enough, all the conversation was about the pregnancy and not about my wedding, she turned up half hour before we had to leave for the church and as soon as the meal was over she disappeared to go home, change and get the baby and the stayed another half hour and decided to leave, she was apparently my best friend yet she couldn't even stay for my whole wedding day!

Now that I'm pregnant I've hardly heard from her, because I've stopped calling her and stopped making the effort to go to her house to see her, it hurts because I love her little boy and haven't seen him for so long but I just don't have the energy or the inclination to run around after her anymore and have come to realise that this friendship is completely one sided. It's sad but screw it, she obviously don't give a toss about our friendship so why should I!?

We've all got more important things going on in our lives at the moment, if our so called friends don't like us being the ones getting attention then what kind of friends are they? xxx