Engagement!

[Krystal]

Well first of all I'm so happy to say I am now engaged to the love of my life. He proposed on holiday. We were on a cruise and it was night time on the balcony looking out at the stars in middle of atlantic ocean and he popped the question!! I am so in love.

Now for the problem...

We told his parents that same evening. They congratulated us gave a hug but thats it. No mention since. If I bring up the wedding plans they are swept under the carpet and not mentioned. We celebrated by going tothe white room (marco pierre whites resteraunt onboard) was amazing. We got a bottle of champagne to celebrate. He proposed a toast and they clinked glasses but it was more like.... yep-congrats-now-whats-on-the-menu type thing. They didn't say that obviously but thats what it felt like. Another night at the dinner table we sat with this other family and engagement got mentioned. The woman was really interested like ohhh wow congrats and when is the big day going to be a bet your so happy etc etc. Thats type of thing I wanted from his parents

I've always got on with them although relations are a little strained at the moment cos we all live under 1 roof temp. I have been married before and only just got divorce through although been split ages. At first I thought maybe that but OH reassured me that his parents wouldn't judge on that pointing out plenty in family married more than once and I tend to agree with him. Due to a couple of comments his mam has made he seems to think it could be the fact he didn't tell them before the proposal but if thats the case that makes me angry cos thats a pretty selfish reason to spoil our celebrations - which they have, put a real bloody dampner on it all

I dunno, i'm confused as to why they would be this way. Maybe i'm expecting too much and people don't get excited about engagements anymore. I just miss my mam and know if she'd be here there would be massive celebrations

Am I expecting too much or would you feel same?

Would you bring it up with them (his mam more than dad btw) or just leave it. It is awkward to discuss at mo as living under same roof i don't wanna rock the boat so to speak.

help!!

 

[lfc_sarah]

Id just leave it...

Its your happyness not theirs

Dont let them ruin it hun

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XX

 

[valentine]

Congratulations again gorgeous. Sorry to hear about OH's parents but I'd probably leave it too, maybe get Simon to say a sly dig but I probably wouldn't go further than that. I would have been sooo excited if someone told me that when they were on holiday, but not everyone is demonstrative and excitable like me/you!

I want photos and stories about your cruise! Get posting! What are you thinking re. wedding plans.


Valentine Xxx

 

[A&J]

Congratulations I agree I would leave it and enjoy planning your perfect day. Like Valentine I want stories, pictures etc. I love talking weddings

 

[1sttimemum]

Huge congratulations krystal i am sooooo jealous!!!!

Dunno why OHs parents could be like they are, It is a bit strange isnt it.

I dunno if i'd say anything, espesh when your living at their house but then like you say its really dampening your spirits, Try and forget them babe, your not going to be marrying them are you,,,

 

[kmac]

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wouldn't mention it just now either when you are living with them.
I probably would ask them after you've moved out if ther was a reason they reacted like that.

For now just sod 'em and have fun being excited!!
xxxx

 

[Bee]

Congrats!

Craig and I got engaged 2 weeks ago and we've been having some problems with parents too.

Just ignore them and be happy about your news

 

[puppylove]

Yeh i agree with the rest of the girls just enjoy ur engagement and enjoy planning your big day

Hugh congratulations to you both........

 

[Krystal]

Thanks girls, i am going to try and ignore it although it's difficult. I think because I really like them and care about them and thought we got on pretty well it makes it hard to deal with. If we all hated each other I prob wouldn't be so bothered. Ahh well

 

[fifi211]

Huge Congratulations

What a lovely way to propose, it must have been so romantic.

As far as his family go, I wouldn't mention it either. I don't understand why they should have a problem with it at all whether he told them first or not, seems a bit mad to me. I certainly wouldn't let it ruin your happiness though, that is such a special memory you have don't let it be spoilt by their reaction

 

[happy-chick]

We had the same problem when we told MIL & FIL we'd set a date, her response was 'Oh right, What am I going to do with Charlie (the dog) all day?!' we were both fuming at the time & pretty gutted but she soon came round and was mega excited, we had a fantastic day in the end

I'd leave it hun, maybe shes just a bit shocked at the thought of 'loosing' her son so to speak, u know how over protective mums can be I'm sure she'll come around

 

[trixipaws]

firstly, CONGRATULATIONS i had heard the news already, but i really am happy for u and wanna congratulate u personally!

hmmm, i dont kno what to advise u on the situation tho, its kinda difficult for me to put myself in ur shoes- its probably one of those things u dont kno how ur gonna react until u find urself in the situation- but going off how i *think* i'd feel, i would say dont bring it up, just try not to get too upset about it.

i suspect even if she dont even realise it herself, she maybe deep down is feeling a bit over-protective of her son, and/or slightly cautious that u been married before (even if she herself or other family members have been married more than once, sometimes principles are different when its ur son ur talking about!) and there's nothing wrong with that it doesnt make her a bad person, like i said i would suspect if this IS it then she probably really doesnt realise herself! we all have those deep sub-conscious feelings that we arent aware of!

idk, another possibility is that she IS happy for u both, BUT might have some personal or other issues happening now co-incidentally, things which she might want to keep to herself u never kno she might have something worrying her perhaps.

i kno its easy for me to say having not been in ur situation but please try not to let it bother u too much

 

[Krystal]

Thanks for the congrats girls.. it's really lovely of you all

Well I didn't bring it up but OH did. His Mam gave him a lift out last night and she asked how I was as she had noticed i'd been a little quiet. He explained I was worried over their reaction to the engagement and thought maybe they were'nt overly happy about it. She assured him her and his dad were over the moon and they thought the congrats had been enough. She said she just isn't the type to go OTT on things and maybe thats why I got the wrong impression. I guess it's fair enough and does make sense although like a couple of you mentioned I still think she was a little shocked her baby boy was marrying.. maybe one day I will understand when Jack is in that position (eeeeeeeeeeeek)

I've decided that although I still think the reaction was a little bit disappointing I probably made things worse in my own head. Seems i'm a little sensitive about the fact I have only just got divorced, to be getting married for the 2nd time wasn't on my life plan lol. I always though i'd get married live happily ever after so it's taking some adjusting. Although i'm so so happy about getting married to Simon cos I love him. I kinda just wish he could of been the first iykwim. Anyway putting those feelings to 1 side i'm gonna stop kicking myself over something I cannot change and enjoy the ride.

Thanks for your support, as ever your all great

 

[mrs_metal]

I get on quite well with my in-laws but MIL showed zero interest in our wedding, she'd change the subject if we mentioned it or just seem completely uninterested.

But after the wedding every time me and Hubby had an argument he'd bring up the fact that I hadn't involved his parents in the wedding and him Mum was really hurt that she wasn't included more in the planning Why didn't she show more interest then and why didn't he say anything either!

So your MIL could just be like my mother in law where she doesn't seem happy and interested but she is, ask her opinon on venues or something and see if she wants to help/talk about it all but at the same time doesn't want to intrude so doesn't bring it up herself.