Hi everyone!! I’m 22 weeks along. I’ve been thinking about my birth plan a lot lately and every time, I can’t help but break down. Sorry for my language lol but I’m so *** scared... I have anxiety for which I was on clonazepam for, (it’s really bad) and now I’m on a different prescription which also “helps” with depression. One of my triggers now is giving birth. I know I want an elected c-section, but I don’t know if I’m able to opt for general anesthesia during my delivery. On top of this, I am my mother’s first born and she almost died while having me and pretty much had some kind of issue during all of her pregnancies. I already have had terrible menstrual cycles, fainting from the pain and it completely obstructing my life for a couple of days each month. I haven’t been to an ultrasound to see if it is endometriosis or something like that. My family doctor did say I have mittelshmerz or however you spell it. I don’t know how or if that relates to how I will be able to deliver, but I am going out of my mind at this point. I am past terrified now... I can’t even imagine the day without fighting this uncontrollable crying and worrying. I have had LASIK, which is a surgery I had to be awake for, which was very very very traumatic for me. I just don’t know how to even bring this up. I literally haven’t been to my first ultrasound because I AM TERRRIFIED. I don’t know why I can’t just MOVE. I’ve only been to an emergency ultrasound at the emergency room where I was diagnosed and treated for HG. During that ultrasound there is a 3cm cyst on my left ovary. Omg everything is so scary and messy in my mind right now. My intuition is just screaming NO, something terrible is going to happen. This feeling is so strong inside of me I just can’t fight it anymore. I can’t talk to anybody about this I’m having so much trouble right now I hope you’re understanding me