dreading elective C section :(

[Jen & Her Men]

need some help girls cos its becoming a bit of an issue - feel really panicky when i think about it.

I have to have a c section cos i didnt progress with james due to his size and I also have a small pelvis. It was a pretty horrific labour and I have to say I hated every minute of the c section. I was terrified. Cos it was such a short time ago I still remember it very vividly and Im so so dreading going through that experience again - being cut open and feeling everything - it was terrifying. then at the end it was a good 30 mins before i could hold James and my hands were pinned to my chest under the operating blanket and the shield thing so i couldnt see what was going on and that was horrible too cos i couldnt even hold Alans hand or stroke James when alan brought him over to see me...all in all it was awful and Im getting so worked up thinking about it.

How do i overcome this??

Also, I feel so bad about leaving James for a few days whilst im in hospital. He will only just be one and im gonna miss him sooo much. I have only spent 1 night away from him so its going to be so weird. Plus Im worried that he is going to think Mummy has abandoned him for a new baby. Is there anything I can do to make sure he doesnt feel this way??

Any help would be appreciated. Im really scared.

 

[mummykay]

aaaarw darlin, sorry ur feelin scared about it

Im sure James wont feel abandoned, whose home is he goin to when ur poppin pumpkin out?

Can u not arrange some sort of birth plan, like sayin u wanna hold Alans had and have bubba put on u when theyre out?

I remember holdin Jams dads hands and holdin Jam when he was all blanketed up, Id def ask to have these things taken into consideration

 

[LaineyG]

Uch Jen!

There is absolutley nothing to worry about! I had an elective c-section and it was such a calm and relaxed experience!

I wrote about it in the post birth thread -

I'll add mine, which is quite different, but some expectant mum's might be in the same boat!

I have severe asthma, and I was monitored closely during my pregnancy. I was doing great and plodding along quite happily to a natural birth.

Then the heartburn and reflux started. Severe heartburn can make asthma worse as the acid can inflame the windpipe. I didn't know any of this and one day I was working at my local hospital when my asthma specialist passed by and asked how I was. I told him I wasn't too great, and that I thought my asthma might be taking a turn for the worse.

He took me round to his clinic and went through everything, when he discovered I had heartburn he prescribed lansaprazole to keep it under control. He said he'd call my OB in time for my next visit.

So a week passes and I go to see my OB. I was 38+3. I walk in with my mum, sit down and she says "So, Tuesday ok for this baby to be born?" I was like WTF?!?!

Turns out when I walked in I was so out of breath (I didn't realise this as it had slowly been getting like that) that she decided on the spot that I needed to have this baby.

They couldn't induce me, as I have severe allergies, and prostaglandin is apparently very reactive and can cause reactions in people who have never had an allergy in the past.

So, elective c-section it was!

On the tuesday morning my mum, dad and I got up at 6, left the house at 7, got to the hospital at 7:30. I got into a gown, and walked my bed up to the recovery room. After 10 mins the anesthetist came in and went over everything. Another 10 mins later and the OB came in and went over everything.

Another 10 mins after that, a mad man in a rugby shirt and jeans came running in and asked for my placenta!!!

Turns out he was a student doctor and was looking for placentas to research premature births on!

So I signed his form!

Then I was walked into theatre, given my spinal block, got catheterised (after the spinal, so I didn't feel a thing!) and laid on the table. My mum came in and sat beside me.

The anesthetist then put the rolling stones on the speakers and at 9.31 my beautiful baby girl was born into the world!!

It was all lovely and relaxed and everybody was so nice. My aftercare was excellent and I was home within 48 hours!

Also, my friend went through exactly the same as you, ended up with an emergency c-section after a bit of a horrific labour. She was sooooo petrified of having to have a section with her second that she begged and begged for a VBAC. In the end she ended up with an elective and.............totally different experience! She was amazed at how relaxed the whole thing was and it all went so smoothly!

I've heard this a lot, people having bad experiences with emergency ones, and being pleasently surprised when it came to the elective one!

Like mummykay said, you can still have a birth plan, skin to skin as soon as possible and Alan will be right beside you the whole time!

 

[Becky]

I'm also facing the possibility of an elective as I had an emergency section last time. I have an appointment with the consultant at 35 weeks to "discuss options". I'm hoping that I'll be put at ease by the consultant as even though I had a good experience of a section last time it's not something I'm overly happy about facing again.

Have they said anything about you having an appointment like this? It might also be worth asking for a de-brief about your labour with James. This is where a doctor will go through your labour notes and discuss with you all the decisions made. PErhaps if you know why your arms were stuck under the sheet you'll be able to prevent it happening again this time?

I don't know about you Jen but the worst thing for me at the moment is not knowing what the procedure is for an elective and it's that fear of the unknown that's the worst.

 

[Sherlock]

Why not talk to your MW and consultant about your concerns regarding your C section. And ask if you can have your hands left free so you can move them about and so on. I'd think it would be fine to.

 

[hennaly]

I must admit the thought of a c section terrifies me and i would have to ask to be put out completely, is that not an option for you?

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I must admit the thought of a c section terrifies me and i would have to ask to be put out completely, is that not an option for you?

Its an option but not one i want to pursue really as I dont react well to General Anaesthetics plus the thought of missing the birth of my baby altogether is something that also really upsets me...also i want to BF and trying to recover from a general will make it ten times harder....so I dont think its really an option although if i cant sort out the anxiety im feeling it may have to be


I have a consultant apptmnt end of the month to discuss everything with him. Fingers crossed he will be more helpful than the midwife who was so bloody dismissive it was untrue. I like the idea of being able to talk about my birth of James of why they did what they did including keeping my arms pinned to me. I think it may have something to do with how much i was shaking but i would like to know for sure so hopefully i dont have to be pinned down this time.

 

[hennaly]

yes i see where you are coming from, i really hope you can put your mind at ease, and as you have already just pointed out some of the positive sides to my option try to concentrate on them and it may help you see it as a positive thing not negative

 

[Kimberly]

I had an elective C - Section and it was a very calm experience. They didn't pin my arms to me, I was holding my husbands hand and the Nurse's hand. Because I wasn't in labor and we weren't in a rush, everyone took their time and made me laugh. They dropped the curtain just before August came out so I could watch him being born and it was amazing. I also was shaking lots, but when ever I started my husband or the nurse would have me take deep breaths and I would calm down.

I can certainly understand why you would be scared considering your experience last time. I've heard lots of people say that planned C-sections are not as bad as emergency. I hope the consultant listens to your fears and is able to put you at ease a bit.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

thanks girls i really appreciate your replies

Im gonna have a really good chat to the consultant and make sure im fully in the picture. Becky I agree its definitely the not knowing or expecting to be the same as an emergency section thats the scary part.

Thing is, i was fully expecting the midwives to be able to tell me why certain things happened last time as im having this baby in the same hospital that i had James and basically she said that she didnt know why things happened the way they did and that I would more than likely just be given a c section because they didnt want to risk the same happening to me again...thing is, surely as medical professionals, they should have a good idea about why i didnt progress and whether, if this baby is smaller than James, I can have a VBAC?? But they seem to just wanna fob me off with another section.

Im going to really fight for a VBAC as long as Pumpkin aint a biff baby like James!! lol. If he/she is looking to be another biggun then i guess Im resigned to a section but I am definitely going to be pushy about stuff like them not pinning my hands to me etc.

 

[Bexie]

Try not to worry yourself too much. Even if you are having an elective c-section you can still write out a birth plan. I had an elective section as my daughter was breech. The whole build up to going into theatre was very calm. It was a really weird experience to know that my baby was going to be with me in about half an hour. When I went up to theatre, I felt incredibly nervous and couldn't stop crying or shaking, the theatre staff were really lovely and very supportive and told me it was completely normal to behave like this. My partner was beside me throughout the whole procedure and there to hold my hand, the only time he left my side was when our DD came into the world and he went to the midwife to bring her over to me.

It was all a bit surreal. I didn't know she'd been born until the midwife asked my OH to come over to her. I think if I were to have another section I would ask that my baby was held up as soon as they were born so I could see them, then after their asgar test brought back to me so I could perhaps hold them, if not stroke them.

This time I'm hoping for a VBAC, but if I do end up having a section, then I will be quite clear about what I want as I know what to expect this time round.

Again honey, try not to worry yourself, the more you worry yourself the worse it'll become, try and think of all the positives and perhaps write out a birth plan before meeting with your consultant to explain the things that you didn't like last time round so would therefore like to avoid this time round.

Good luck xx

 

[kirlykird]

Hi Jen

I can completely empathise on how you are feeling.

When I had the twins I had an awful time with my c section. I was losing consciousness all of the way through & I don't remember seeing them let alone touching them. I didn't get initial contact, I felt ill afterwards, didn't hold them for hours due to the shivers & then had an awful 6 months with incompetency & an infected wound.

With this in mind, there was NO way in the world I was going to have another section. I decided from the start that I would be attempting a natural birth and that was that. I had meetings with my consultant and that was decided! Nobody was going to make me go through that again!

However, around 3 weeks before Sam was born, he decided that as my tummy was huge ( due to my uterus deciding it would grow big enough for 2 babies again ) he decided to twist & turn around my tummy & wouldn't stay still. SOme days he was doing 360 degree turns!

I was admitted to hospital straight away & there I had to stay until he decided to lodge into position, 3 weeks later he still hadn't! As expected, yes at this point I was still in hospital & told that there was no way that I could have my attempt at a natural delivery & I was doomed for a section again!

Oh my Gosh, did I panic?!?! I made a clear point of teling my consultant and registrar ALL of my previous worries and concerns & how scared I was of history repeating & obviously the things that went wrong. The most important thing I feel I did there was keeping them informed & telling them what I did & didn't want!

This time it was different, after my section being cancelled due to emergencies, the enxt morning I went down to theatres....soooo scared & feeling incredibly sick!!!
I was greeted by the consultant anaesthetist whom was to be in control of my epidural & was aware of my previous complications. He did as I asked, he talked me through EVERYTHING that he did. If I told him I didn't feel right, he told me why that was & what he was going to do to make it better.
During theatre, he kept me updated what was going on, (they were very careful with the dosage of the drug so that it didn't have the same nocking out effect on me this time too) & when Sam was lifted out, he was passed over the screen for me to see, taken off & cleaned up with daddy & then bought straight to me on my chest for my sewing up etc. This was a huge improvement on last time!!
He was only taken off me & passed to daddy whilst they moved me to recovery He was then back with me all of the way!
I was adamant this time that I wanted to get up asap & get back on my feet & I did as I said, how I wanted things to be this time! It worked for me & was a positive experience.

Sorry for the ramble and the long story but what I am trying to say is:

tell them your fears
tell them what YOU thought went wrong last time
tell them what you would like
tell them that you would like instant conmtact with the baby
make sure they do what you want as it's your birth & your baby!

As for missing James, it will be hard but worth the wait to safely bring home a little brother or sister for him. I ended up being away from Beth & Tom for just over 4 weeks & at the time I missed them tremendously but looking back now it didn't seem that long. Does your maternity ward have family rooms where your hubby could stay over with James too? Just another thought!

Good luck & hope I haven't bored you too much

 

[beanie]

I have no experience of this but two of my friends have (Beany and Hels) and their planned section stories were lovely and so different from the first experiences. Both wrote good birth plans so this is something you may consider??

As for James things I found good to do was to talk to Seren about the baby, sayying how nthe baby was looking forward to meeting their big sister, her choosing a present for the baby. She stayed at Nanny's house when Cally was born and when she came home we made sure that Cally was upstairs and that I could give her a massive cuddle when she came in. We then said "do you want to meet your new baby sister" and bought Cally down, it was love at first sight.

 

[Rubys mummy]

Oh Jen

My sis had a bad C section experience-it was an emergency as her LO was premature and she went into labour 34 weeks...all turned out well in the end.

I was due 8 weeks after her, and after my induction failed 36 hours later they mentioned a section-I was terrified but they all knew how scared I was as the team there had delivered my niece!

Once I got to theatre it was just the most fantastic experience-so relaxed and everyone was chatting and there was music on...OH was there holding my hand and before I knew it, I felt tugging and I felt her being lifted from me which was awesome!! They held her up so OH could tell me the sex, and everyone was congratulating us-the porters played "Shes a lady-Tom Jones" and we were all singing along.

Try and not worry, tell them your fears and I am sure all will be fine

 

[littlepip]

I can really understand where ure coming from i had a hurrific c-section and me and my sister were talking about labour the other day and i kept cringing and i could litterally still feel the feeling i had while they were pulling him out, i hate thinking about it! Hopefully like everyone else said it will be a nice realxing experience, aybe as you know what to expect it will put you at ease a bit more xxxxxxx

 

[MakkaP]

Hi Jen,

I had an elective section second time round after a bad labour which ended in emergency section.
It couldnt have been more different if they tried. When Reece was born I cant remember much, I remember seeing him, i didnt really get too emotional I was just relieved he was out!
This time round I remembered everything, music was playing the surgeon etc were all laughing and joking with me, it was lovely. Megan was lifted over the little sheet so I could see her and I burst into tears and cried like I never have before, I thought it was the next best option to having a normal birth, just lovely.
I find now I sit and think about her birth and still get tears in my eyes as it was so lovely, with Reece's I cant remember much and it want too nice so I dont even go there.
I also found my pain wasnt anywhere near as bad as it was last time, I felt better so much quicker. I know I shouldnt have been but I was lifting Reece after just over 2 weeks, he fell and as instinct does you rush and pick them up, after I felt a bit achy but it soon passed.
I hope you get to try a VBAC, I would have loved a normal birth but as things were I wasnt even allowed to try but I'm so glad I picked a secion.
Oh and our hosp lets partners and kids in from 9am-9pm with 2 1hr breaks inbetween so I'm sure you'd be allowed James in a lot

xxx