doubts creeping in ........... :(

[kaz1983]

so much for my mind being all set for wednesday and that nothing was going to change my mind but today the doubts have started creeping in and we dont know if we will be going ahead with the amnio now.

HUbby sounded a bit down when I phoned him from work so I sent him a text saying hes not to worry about wednesday as im not worrying and could i get a bell to grab his attention to get me whatever I needed while I rested after the procedure. He said he was worried that something was going to happen to me having the procedure done and thats when the doubts started creeping in

thing is the measurements, blood tests, my age are all perfect. Theres no history of Down's in the family so is it really worth the small risk that something may go wrong and we lose minion ......but on the other hand I think if we dont have it done I will always be wondering until I give birth

I know this must sound really silly as the outcome wouldnt make a difference to the pregnancy I knew it was too good to be true that I had made up my mind for definite xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I can understand how you are feeling. Not knowing would tarnish the pregnancy for me and I'd be anxious at the delivery, wondering if lo was healthy. But, some ladies don't mind the not knowing which is a personal thing isn't it.
The risk of mc is less than 2% I think but it's a risk all the same.
Suppose it depends on how you would handle the not knowing. I would need to know, to prepare yknow but again that's personal choice xx

 

[kaz1983]

I can understand how you are feeling. Not knowing would tarnish the pregnancy for me and I'd be anxious at the delivery, wondering if lo was healthy. But, some ladies don't mind the not knowing which is a personal thing isn't it.
The risk of mc is less than 2% I think but it's a risk all the same.
Suppose it depends on how you would handle the not knowing. I would need to know, to prepare yknow but again that's personal choice xx

Im like you Cos I prefer to know things like when they done the second scan where the "expert" said dont worry there is nothing wrong with your baby after telling me she couldnt see a nasal bone.....if she had mentioned then that this may be a sign of Down's it wouldnt have came as such a shock when maternity called me back over.

But again if anything was to happen Im the type of person that would blame myself no matter how many times I was told it wasnt my fault

aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggg why cant i just make up my mind and be done with it xx

 

[EssJayPea]

Oh babe I was gonna private message you to ask how you were feeling.

From a personal point, I'd want to know so would go ahead with the amnio. Would you be able to have a private scan done where they could check the nasal bone? Not sure how late on you can have amnio done.

I was speaking to a lady who has had it done twice due to being high risk and both babies were perfectly healthy. It's so tough though as that tiny risk still weighs on your mind....

I feel so bad for you having to face this and really wish you lots of luck for tomorrow, whatever you and your oh decide is best Xxxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Weigh up the risks and how you would feel until delivery not knowing.
If you can handle that then that's cool, if it would torment you and maybe even take away from your enjoyment/experience then I think you have to consider getting the amnio xx

 

[kaz1983]

Oh babe I was gonna private message you to ask how you were feeling.

From a personal point, I'd want to know so would go ahead with the amnio. Would you be able to have a private scan done where they could check the nasal bone? Not sure how late on you can have amnio done.

I was speaking to a lady who has had it done twice due to being high risk and both babies were perfectly healthy. It's so tough though as that tiny risk still weighs on your mind....

I feel so bad for you having to face this and really wish you lots of luck for tomorrow, whatever you and your oh decide is best Xxxxx

The consultant that does the test scans a lot before doing the test so maybe just maybe he will see a nasal bone

glad the lady that had two done had healthy babies must have been a worry for her going through it twice

Thank you so so much for your support I think its gonna be a decide at the time sort of thing which isnt how we planned it but sometimes these things happen - think tomorrow will be a keep myself to myself day at work to try and focus myself on Wednesday xxxxx

Weigh up the risks and how you would feel until delivery not knowing.
If you can handle that then that's cool, if it would torment you and maybe even take away from your enjoyment/experience then I think you have to consider getting the amnio xx

I think it would take away from the enjoyment of pregnancy and that is certainly not what hubby or I want so at the moment its a decide on the day thing which as I said above isnt how we planned it

Thank you so so much for your support Cos xx

 

[Loula]

Hope you manage to weigh up all the pros and cons, i personally would have it done after what happened in our past family history. Youll know at the time whther or not to go ahead itll either feel right or wroing im sure x

 

[Lolly85x]

Hi I read your other post the other day. And I really cannot imagine how you must be feeling. Like other people have said that they have been fine with amino, it's such a big decision. And you don't want to have any regrets. Have they not given you anyone you and your husband could talk this through with? Also the idea of a private scan could be an idea, purely for that reason. Or even the hospital should give you another scan before it. I can only imagine what must be going through your head. You have to weigh up the pros and cons of having it done. Whether you think you can handle the rest of your pregnancy not knowing. Or to get prepared just incase. What an awfu situation when this is supposed to be the happiest time of your pregnancy... I really do feel for you xxx

 

[EssJayPea]

That would be good if they scan before so you can have more reassurance. You may not even need the amnio, all being well. You're right, it's one of those 'wait and see' scenarios. Think you're being really brave hun. Minion will be just fine, I'm sure Xxxxx

 

[mrswoody]

Hey lovely.
Just read through your last post. It's a big decision to make and only you an OH will know what to do for the best. For the risk you have been given you've got to think that out of all those babies only 1 will be born with DS, this is what my MW told me when we were discussing what the different scans are and if me and Hubby would want them. good luck with your decision and try not to stress too much x

 

[mrz85]

best of luck with what u decide X

 

[Sunbeam638]

Mmm I would feel the same really torn about it. Good luck Hun with whatever you decide

 

[Belle23]

I can't imagine how u must be feeling. Try looking at it from this way. U said it doesn't matter what test says as either way u will still love baby. Well if it doesn't matter and both mummy and daddy will love him/her no matter what does it really matter what the test Says??? Nothing will prepare u whether u know or u don't because at the beginning little one is still a baby. Even if u know and test says yes or no nothing can prepare anyone for a baby or a ds baby or any other baby with any problems. I really hope they do the scan and all this worrying and deciding Is all for nothing and nasel bone is present. Good luck honey xxxx

 

[kaz1983]

Hope you manage to weigh up all the pros and cons, i personally would have it done after what happened in our past family history. Youll know at the time whther or not to go ahead itll either feel right or wroing im sure x

Hi I read your other post the other day. And I really cannot imagine how you must be feeling. Like other people have said that they have been fine with amino, it's such a big decision. And you don't want to have any regrets. Have they not given you anyone you and your husband could talk this through with? Also the idea of a private scan could be an idea, purely for that reason. Or even the hospital should give you another scan before it. I can only imagine what must be going through your head. You have to weigh up the pros and cons of having it done. Whether you think you can handle the rest of your pregnancy not knowing. Or to get prepared just incase. What an awfu situation when this is supposed to be the happiest time of your pregnancy... I really do feel for you xxx

That would be good if they scan before so you can have more reassurance. You may not even need the amnio, all being well. You're right, it's one of those 'wait and see' scenarios. Think you're being really brave hun. Minion will be just fine, I'm sure Xxxxx

Hey lovely.
Just read through your last post. It's a big decision to make and only you an OH will know what to do for the best. For the risk you have been given you've got to think that out of all those babies only 1 will be born with DS, this is what my MW told me when we were discussing what the different scans are and if me and Hubby would want them. good luck with your decision and try not to stress too much x

best of luck with what u decide X

Mmm I would feel the same really torn about it. Good luck Hun with whatever you decide

Thanks girls you really are the best and I think I know now what to do.

The Consultant seems fairly confident that we wont have a baby with Down's and when i thuink of everythin else the apparent missing nasal bone is the only thing really pointing to there maybe being anything wrong and there are loads of people im sure born without a nasal bone that dont have Down's (our friends youngest girl doesnt and apart from being loud and crazy shes perfectly healthy). I think I know the answer deep down just need to get it sorted in my head again and make sure I dont have any regrets.

Even if we dont go through with the test I will still be having the few days annual leave off as will let me get over all the thinking etc weve had to do xxxxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I know you have the scan beforehand hun, so I hope and pray you see a nasal bone and can forget about the amnio altogether.

If you do still need the test then I think you may well have to go with your gut instinct on the day.

I think you'll know in your bones what is the right thing to do.

Sorry that is no real use BUT I would say trust your feelings.

Like Cosmic, I would need to know...

I am hoping all is well for you tomorrow

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[kaz1983]

I know you have the scan beforehand hun, so I hope and pray you see a nasal bone and can forget about the amnio altogether.

If you do still need the test then I think you may well have to go with your gut instinct on the day.

I think you'll know in your bones what is the right thing to do.

Sorry that is no real use BUT I would say trust your feelings.

Like Cosmic, I would need to know...

I am hoping all is well for you tomorrow

xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Carnat

I am hoping for that too and the Consultant I am seeing is the one that deals with pregnatn woman who have genetic conditions so hes probably done thousands of scans in his career so hopefully he will can persuade minion to lie in a good position an see the nasal bone.

I think it is a decide on the day which isnt what I would have went for and thought I had it sussed out. And yes if I dont have the test done and the baby does have Down's it would be a little bit of a shock but its all Ive ever wanted for ages is a baby so to consider something that could risk all that is crazy when i thinka bout it properly.

Thank you for your support xxxxxxxxx

 

[kaz1983]

update for all you wonderful girlies

i knew hubby wasny right yesterday when I spoke to him on the phone and turns out there was something wrong. He had started to have doubts about the amnio as well but as I had my mind set he didnt want to say anything to perhaps rock my decision.

He had kind of tried to tell me last night but he didny do it outright so it turned into a wait and see for tomorrows appointment.

Its now a definite no to having the amnio we will still be going for the appointment as the Consultant said to still go and have a discussion with him and perhaps he will still scan as well.

Think we both feel a huge relief that we now have a definite decision and not just gonna wing it at the appointment

A huge thank you once again for all your support xxxxx

 

[EssJayPea]

Oh babe, I'm so pleased you and oh have reached a decision you're both happy with.

And also good that the doctor still wants to talk to you - it will maybe put your mind at ease and allow you to ask any questions you have.

Enjoy your time off from work anyway - you sound like you need a bit of a breather following the ups and downs you've had.

Take care and look forward to hearing how you get on tomorrow xxxx

 

[FerretloverUK]

hi hun, hubby and I are going thru EXACTLY the same thing! We cant decide , but waited 3 yrs for Sprout!

our risk is 1:150 (im 39)

 

[kaz1983]

Oh babe, I'm so pleased you and oh have reached a decision you're both happy with.

And also good that the doctor still wants to talk to you - it will maybe put your mind at ease and allow you to ask any questions you have.

Enjoy your time off from work anyway - you sound like you need a bit of a breather following the ups and downs you've had.

Take care and look forward to hearing how you get on tomorrow xxxx

So are we hun...hubby kept saying he was happy with whatever decision I made and I really wasnt comfortable with that so glad he finally told me how he felt even though it took a while

Yes hopefully the doctor will go throuh more things and hopefully still do the scan he is sooooo laid back to start with that it relaxes us too

gonna hopefully get spare room half sorted so we can start painting it for minion

will update once Im back from appointment - thanks for your support xx

hi hun, hubby and I are going thru EXACTLY the same thing! We cant decide , but waited 3 yrs for Sprout!

our risk is 1:150 (im 39)

I know the feeling all too well we hadnt been trying as long as you have but its not a ncie situation to be in at all but you know what is best yourself its just not nice getting to the decision take care hun xx