Don't wanna be with him anymore!!

[Princess_Puddles]

I don't know what to do, Me & OH have been together for just over 2yrs now, when i first met him it was just a bit of fun but i grew to love him but since just before Harrison was born there seems to be nothing there anymore, he tries to kiss, cuddle, 'try it on with me' but i push him away everytime cause i dont feel anything for him, he doesnt turn me on like he used to. I've tried talking to him about how i feel, having time together on our own, nothing works, its just not there anymore. I would leave him today if i could but i have no where to go, my Mum wont have me back, my Nan and Grandad are moving to spain and i dont speak to my Dad or his family. I don't know what to do I sound like a right evil cow but i never meant for this to happen

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Your NOT an evil cow, you cant help how you feel and you cant force yourself to love someone, no matter how much you want to and how much easier it would be

Ive been in that position before with someone, we didnt have kids so it was easier but I know exactly what you mean about not wanting him to touch you, even though you care about him.

Its a sad situation, but its not impossible to deal with hun.

Maybe you could try a "trial seperation", ask him to move out for a few weeks to give you some space and arrange times when he can come and see the little one. It will give you both a breather, and you time to figure out how you really feel.

You might find that you miss him dreadfully and do after all love him, or you might find that you are better off on your own. Either way it will be a step towards resolving the situation one way or another.

You cant live in limbo like that babe, and you deserve to be happy.

If you want to chat more feel free to pm me xx

 

[mummykay]

aaarw hun

maybe try livin on ur own with Harrrison for a little bit, u both might appreciate eachother abit more when uv had a taste of the single life?
im on msn or pm me if u need to

 

[Princess_Puddles]

Thankyou for your reply GGG

I have asked him to move out for a bit before but he doesnt listen to me, he wouldn't have anywhere to go either as all his family live in Brighton 2hrs away from here and that would mean he'd have to pay more for the train into London everyday which he hasnt got at the moment and also its his name on the tenancy so really i couldnt ask him to move out.

I wanna be with him but for all the wrong reasons

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

yeah I see your predicament hun, are there any friends close by either one of you could stay with for a bit?

The only other thing I can suggest is saving up for a deposit on your own place, or see if you are entitled to any help with a deposit.

Can I ask what the wrong reasons are hun?

 

[MissGobby]

ohhhh hun im sooo sorry you feel like this.

i agree with MK why dont you try living on your own with Harrison and see your OH for a few hours or something, instead of living together!

would your mum not have you back at all????

i dont know what to say babes but i wanna send you lots of hugs and you know where i am if you need to talk

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I only have 1 friend who's not able to and he doesnt have any. I'm finding it so difficult to get a job at the moment and when i do i'd have to pay childcare (which will be my Mum) and saving for a deposit would be impossible

Just because i dont wanna be alone & Harry to grow up without his Dad, Money....etc... Making myself sound really horrid now

 

[SarahB]

You're not horrid hun, sometimes we just can't help how we feel.

 

[mummykay]

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Wanting to stay with him for your sons sake and to make sure you are both taken care of is not horrid babe, its very considerate for your son and brave, but that doesnt mean you have to do it.

Give yourself some time, maybe once you find a job and can get out of the house more and meet new people you'll find it easier to build up a new support network and wont have to rely on your OH so much, that might be the time to think about leaving.

But staying with him in the meantime to make sure you and your son are ok is NOT horrid, or selfish, its his baby too and if thats what you need to do to make sure your son has what he needs, then so be it. Any mother would do the same, you cant put yourself out there with no support and no money, that would just be too hard

And you got us lot to talk to whenever you feel low or need some advice

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

aw hun
like the other said mayb try living on your own with harrison

 

[mum2A&L]

aww hun! just seen this!

You know if i had the space, you and harry would be more than welcome to come stay with us


i recon a couple of weeks break will help you clear your head.

 

[claireabell]

Awww hunnie, I know exactly how you feel, I was exactly the same with my ex. You're reasons for staying with him aren't horrible but at the end of the day you may just end up resenting him even more. Would he not move out and privately rent somewhere? You never know once he's moved out you'll realise you love him so much and don't want to be without him. We're all here if you want to chat hunnie....sending you big massive I'm often on msn if you want to chat...xxxx

 

[Penstraze]

Not quite the same situation as I dont have any children to worry about but about 2 years ago I was feeling how you are about your OH with mine, I tried to leave a few times but everytime he got upset and asked me to stay and said things would change, I cared about him alot but didnt want him to touch me and didnt think I was in love with him anymore. I was like you and no where to go and had no one to turn to really, I became quite friendly with a bloke who live in the same block of flats he listened to me and we became more then friends (it wasnt a full blown affair no sex or anything) when my OH found out he kicked me out which was a relief at the time cause I just wanted to get out of this awful situation I hated being at home cried myself to sleep most nights and was just misserable, I moved in with the other man and thought I was happy with him for awhile but when tempers had calmed down and the dust had settled with my OH I realised how much I loved him and still missed him (Id split up with the other bloke by then that was a big mistake!)
I moved in somewhere on my own for awhile and OH and I worked on our relationship and moved back in together last june, we've been bacjk together for about a year and are very happy and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I love him and looking back had always loved him just wasnt happy with the way things had become between us and felt trapped, all we really needed was some space from each other!
I wish id never started a relationship with the other man and had followed my heart and moved out when I first felt I needed to I think if I had dont that we could have sorted things out without all the heartache!

Im sorry for going on so much, just trying to let you know ive been there and know how you feel and there can be light at the end of the tunnel, but the more you carry on trying to pretend everything is ok the worse things get if you feel you need space then do everything you can to try and get it even if you just go and stay with someone for a week at least being away from OH it will help you guage your feelings for him, I always miss my OH if Im away from him and when I went away and didnt miss him at all I knew we had big problems!

 

[Tina & Gabs]

 

[P.U.S.H]

hello princess. i empathise with u and know it must not be easy, but u havent actually said what the problem is. how did u get to feeling this way. u know find the root cause could be the key here. if its something that can be worked on u might want to give it a try u know.

How does he feel abt you and treat u, money and accomadation aside?

 

[faithsmummy]

hiya
I cant beilive i just read this im going through the same i been with my partner just over a year now and feel like you do,
i cant go to my mums as she wont have me back and my nan and grandad wont have me either!!
i cant kick him out for the same reasons as you too!!
pm me id love to chat to you!!