Cat and Dog Diaries
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
6
0 am - At last! I Go Pee! My favourite thing!
80 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favouritething!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
120 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
10 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
30 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
50 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
60 pm - They're home! My favourite thing!
70 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
80pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
110 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the otherinmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust
them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped
its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. B@rstards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power
of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special pivileges. He
is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously ******ed. The bird has got to be an informant.i observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every
move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now............
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
6
0 am - At last! I Go Pee! My favourite thing!8
0 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!!9:30 am - A car ride! My favouritething!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12
0 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!1
0 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!3
0 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!5
0 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!6
0 pm - They're home! My favourite thing!7
0 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!8
0pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!11
0 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the otherinmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust
them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped
its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. B@rstards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power
of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special pivileges. He
is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously ******ed. The bird has got to be an informant.i observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every
move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now............
