Inside the minds of cats and dogs EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 80 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite! 9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite! 9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite! 10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite! Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite! 10 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite! 40 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite! 50 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite! 5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favourite! 60 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite! 6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favourite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....xx
That is soooooooooooo funny - I have a dog and my mate has 3 cats - im going to send this to her right now! L x
