Does anyone else feel left out sometimes?

[KJ]

Hi all,

firstly let me say I am not complaining. My DH and I are soooo blessed to have this baby on the way and I feel very special to be pregnant.

But, tonight there's an afro-caribbean society event at a club near where I live and DH is going. We went to the same uni and absolutely LOVED going to those nights. The music was great and the atmosphere even better. We're not big drinkers, but we just loved to dance!! Anyway, it's been many years since we left uni but we still keep in touch when these events are going on because they are so good.

I feel so disappointed that I can't go, I just don't feel right being in a smokey club and wouldn't want to risk getting shoved or caught up in any problems that might happen. I feel so fragile being pregnant. It makes me really sad to think DH is going and I am stuck at home.

Kind of makes me think that kind of life is gone for me. And don't get me wrong, I'm really looking forward to being a family and starting that new life. But thinking about the hours I used to spend getting ready and putting my glad rags on and then dancing the night away I can't help feeling a little down. I felt sooo good when I was dressed up to go to one of those things and now I just feel frumpy.

I really don't mind that DH is going. We're going to the cinema together first, so he's not abandoning me at all. I would probably be too tired by then to do anything else anyway!

Does anyone else feel like this from time to time? I feel selfish for even thinking it really.

K.xxxxxxxx

 

[Vickyleigh]

Before I fell pregnant I was a bit of a party animal going out clubbing twice a week nearly every week. I'm 26 and i've been doing that since I was 16 without a break so it's kinda nice having a quite life for a change.
My OH has been really good and he hardley ever drinks now that I can't drink.
My Mum has said that after the baby has been born (after a while of course) she will look after the baby for us if me and OH want to go on a night out.
I've said that after the baby has been here for a while and the first time I have a drink I'm gonna get soooo drunk that i'll be puking up every where and forget my own name

I doubt that will happen, I think it will only take a couple of glasses for me to get in that state

 

[pigletpoo]

Yeah I'm the same. I get really ratty when OH goe's out with his mates, I was used to going out every week twice a week without fail. It des get me down.
I too can't wait to get many drinks down me up town once I have lost all this extra weight!
I'm looking forward so much to my baby, but i really want my own life too. And having no choice at the moment is really frustrating.



Piglet xx

 

[eightball]

I feel like lots of people just don't invite me out anymore because they assume that I wouldn't come. They're probably right but it's nice to be invited!
Last week I was walking home from work and I bumped into a big group of work friends all dressed up and ready to go out and I felt like such a frump I could hardly wave at them, I just rushed by.
I've promised myself that one time in the next few weeks I will make it out late and have a good dance as it's my last chance! I just hope I have the stamina to handle it!!

 

[mayday]

Hi KJ, don't worry about feeling selfish - you've got every right at the moment to feel a bit selfish! My own thoughts on the matter are that if you want to go to this evening - give it a go. You'll probably feel tired after an hour or two anyway and go home early, but you'll be glad you went if you really want to go.

At your stage of pregancy I loaded my horse into his trailer and drove him halfway across the country to an adult version of Pony Club camp. I stayed in my tent and had lots of willing helpers to do all the heavy stuff. I was so glad I went, although I did feel I was missing out a little bit because I couldn't indulge in the silly drunk midnight running around that eeryone else was doing. I'f I don't pop early I'm going to watch my husband's band headline at a village beer festival - I'll be 39 weeks .

If you are enjoying the cosy stay-at-home thing, make the most of it! But if you are really craving the odd night out the way you used to be I'd give it a whirl. At this stage of pregancy 2 hours in a smoky atmosphere is going to do very little harm if you are completely smoke-free the rest of the time, and it is unlikely that you will be jostled so badly it is harmful - your baby is well protected, and I imagine you would probably keep yourself out of the fray anyway.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

KJ your not alone, I was 20 when i got pregnant and was a real mad party animal, drinmking every night and going out and I miss it too sometimes even though I love being a mum and im looking forward to my next baby coming.
I go to the cinema with DH and really enjoy that, and i know wehen i go out now i worry about my little man and end up going home early anyways cos ive missed him!
When the babys born youl find something that you can do as a family and it does kind of make up for not going out all the time.

I do miss my party life too, buti look back and realise i have changed as well and wouldnt do it anyways.
You can still go out just have spome nice babysitters on hand!

 

[KJ]

thanks for the thoughts everyone.

I would go for a bit Mayday, but I'm such a worrier I know that I'd just be really stressed if there were people smoking around me. I know it probably wouldn't hurt for one night. But I also think people look at you funny if you're pregnant and in a club. I've never been myself, but I remember when I've been out and there's been a pregnant lady there, people have commented like "oooh, look at her! What's she doing here!" and I don't want to be judged like that.

DH has just emailed me to say that he's decided not to go and gave loads of lame excuses. I know he's only doing it cause he knows I'm so upset, he's soooo sweet! But now, I feel bad and I've told him that he should go and that I'll be ok.

Once I've got my figure back after the birth I'll show them all!!

K.xxx

 

[topbird]

Hi

To be honest.. I don't miss going out.. I really thought I would carry on going out, but we went out when I was about 16 weeks to meet up with a big group of friends and I felt like a freak show. They all got really drunk, the pub was so smokey and I had totally lost my identity no one could talk to me about anything other than the baby!

I have only been out of it was round someones house since.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Hi KJ, i know were your coming from with the smoking and that and i dont blame you! Maybe you should organise to out with some girly friends, or sit in with them and have a dvd night and have a bottle of non alcholic wine!

 

[Vickyleigh]

I feel like lots of people just don't invite me out anymore because they assume that I wouldn't come

It's horrible I get this! Last Saturday it was my best friends 21st birthday, she had a party and didn't even invite me!! She asked me to look after her 2 year old daughter though. Cheeky biatch!!
I haven't spoken to her since

 

[andreag]

I was umming and arring for ages about whether to go to the works do which is 3 days before my due date and started to get really bothered that no-one seemed to expect me to go. I was coming up with all sorts of reasons to go - I could drive myself there and so could leave when I wanted, or stay over etc, and then suddendly realised it is never that good anyway, and sober would just be dull! I only wanted to go because people were saying I shouldn't.

I have missed going to the pub to watch the footy (usually the only reason I would go to the pub) but I don't like the smoky atmosphere and people do look at you like you have two heads (which I suppose in a way, you have! ) but I am a bit of a home body anyway now so its not affected me too much.

 

[maria1976]

I went out last night for a few hours, and it felt bloody marvellous!!! I got all dressed up it was greatI was just drinking coke but it made so much difference seeing friends in a social atmosphere and catching up, really really made my day.

I came home at 10.45 which is a little strange as i would normally be the one to leave last, but it was lovely not to have a hangover and to crawl into bed feeling that I had done something.

I enjoyed it so much im off at 5 to meet friends again

 

[elaine22]

Hi

yeah i've felt like this too, especially lately. some of our friends are still students and have just finished their finals so everyones been going out loads. I've managed to go to the student union a couple of times but always end up wanting to leave early cos I'm so tired (and also feel a little self-conscious being out with a bump) I also do feel selfish for getting upset about it and guilty that OH doesn't go out with his friends as much anymore.
i guess it's natural to feel this way - i wouldn't worry about it