Do you tell your ex and his family... ???

[Squiglet]

If you have kids from a previous relationship, have you/will you/should you tell your ex and his family (grandparents, aunts etc) that you are having another child in a different relationship?

My ex's family are putting pressure on me to bring my DD to their place in London for xmas... Unfortunately I just can't do this for two very good reasons a) I can't afford it (two plane tickets plus accomodation in London doesn't come cheap at xmas), b) I'll be very VERY pregnant at xmas time.

The money situation falls on deaf ears with my ex's family as my ex has told them all that he is paying nearly 400 quid a month in child support (BAHAHAHAH as IF:. he's not even paying one quid)....I've told them a hundred times this isn't true.. but who are they going to believe? My ex's family don't visit here, nor do they call or contact us, unless its at xmas/birthdays when they send DD a card and a present. DD's aunt is working and has had a child of her own, but claims she has no money to come to Spain, so I can't see why my situation is any different as her partner is still with her...

Do you think it is time to tell them I'm having another baby and financially and medically will be unable to go to the UK ? Or shall I just keep it to myself as I have been doing and just continue to be vague and avoid the question of us going there?...

 

[libs]

tell 'em - sod them basically if they're going to be stupid over it they'll be just as stupid after.

whether he's paying or not - it's still up to him to pay or collect DD if he wants to see her - his maintenance (if it was paid) does not include her travel back to the UK - just basic living costs

Don't you dare feel guilty

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

I would tell them that your pregnant
If they really wanna see her they would come to you

 

[Emma58]

Tell them I have. And if they want to see DD then maybe they should make the effort to come to you. It's not your place to bring her to them.

 

[Babylicious]

Yes I'd tell them

 

[Mice_Elf]

Tell them. If you're a letter writing person, write a lovely, polite letter stating that you will be unable to come to the UK over Christmas because a) you aren't being paid any money by your ex so financially can't afford it, regardless of what he says and that b) you will be heavily pregnant and unable to fly.

Extend your warmest wishes and suggest that if they would like to see their grand-daughter over Christmas, then of course you would love to see them in Spain for a few days. There's a lovely hotel nearby that they can stay in. Oh and if they wanted to bring that month's child support of £400 with them to save your ex the bother, then that would be fine, too.

 

[Squiglet]

Oh and if they wanted to bring that month's child support of £400 with them to save your ex the bother, then that would be fine, too.

that would go down well with my ex

 

[Urchin]

How does he say he's paying it? Straight into your bank?
Send them a bank statement, that'll pee him off.
I'd tell them about the baby too, they're bound to find out sooner or later.

 

[tuck]

even if you were receiving the money from your ex this is supposed to be for MAINTENANCE - not to pay for your DD to see her grandparents!, I agree with the others, tell em that you're not coming as your pregnant and it's financially impossible, maybe your ex or his family could pay for your DD to go and visit at new year, that's if she wants to.

my situation is differant but my family are upset with me as we're not going to UK for xmas but we really cant afford to,

 

[jenna]

tell em

 

[trixipaws]

yes tell them.

ur ex sounds like a right dick btw