Didnt know a wedding could cause so much trouble...

[Eblinx]

So yea..me and my other half decided to get married..there was a member of his family he didnt want to invite..and all of his family argued..his mum got upset so here we are back here again..ARGH!! Im stressed!!

 

[violet-glow]

They should realise that its your wedding not theirs.
Maybe come to a compromise or just sit her down and tell her how you feel?
Or is she one of these people that only thinks shes right and everyone else is wrong?

Jo xx

 

[pammie]

well would you believe i am going through the same thing, my boyfriend and i are getting married june next year and his parents live in ireland. (were in liverpool) Because they live so far away we have tried to keep htem in the loop. Now we have to have a wedding of only 80 guests (including the wedding party) so numbers are limited his direct family consists of about 12 people (mum dad sister aunts uncles grandparents he has no cousins) mine is about 80 people and thats my close family. It was my sons holy communion a few weeks ago and they came over and then caused to arguments one with my boyfriend then one with me saying they want to invite 24 people they didnt appreciate it when i said its not up to them who gets invited but if they would like to give us a list we will saught it out. I have cut my family right down to the minimum and my friends but they seem to think am being awkward. i offered to have a blessing in ireland so that people wouldnt be offended and that am sure they would probably prefere to stay in ireland and come to the blessing. he said if they cant be bothered to come to the weding we shouldnt put areselves out. i couldnt win no matter what i said so i just told him to give me a list and we will saught it out. What they have done is took the figure 80 and given 1/3 to my family 1/3 to there family and 1/3 to friends but we want people around us who love and suport us and we dont know there friends that they want to invite. and then they ignored us during the party went to bed without saying goodnight to anyone, and had a face on them during the holy communion. and didnt even make the bed when they got up (i know that sounds petty but it just shows disrespect and was icing on the cake.) arrgghh hate my inlaws. now they are ringing us saying how we embarresed them made them feel uncomfortble and unwanted and how we can do what they want for the wedding as its obviously none of there business (damn right there were paying for are own wedding) and they still cant seem to give us a list even though were asking for it so they were just being awkward.and they demanded an appology to which i swiftly declined to do and demanded one back. they are so infuriating there stance is there right am wrong. oh and because i was a single mum when i met my partner they have now decided to anounce that they thought the relationship would fizzle out and hoped i was a passing phase my partner is fuming hes going over there to have it out with them next week.
Just realised how much i have ranted ooppss sorry
at least you know your not alone
and heres hoping we all sort it out
pam xx

 

[Urchin]

Awwww girls, it sounds like a nightmare.
Pammie: Why don't you say "look 10 (or 12 or whatever) of you can come, as that's all we can afford why don't YOU decide who gets invited?" then maybe they'll realise how hard it is. Either that or maybe they'll pay for more people LOL.

 

[Eblinx]

I cannot believe that two people can cause such a fuss about a few invites!! (his mom and dad), no disrespect to them..but my mom is paying for the whole thing, so why should they get a say anyway they are not willing to pay anything

So turns out we have to invite everyone..i dont think i get a say in this..there is one member of his family who i dont get on with and i am drawing the line at her..there other few i will put up with and aviod for them

pammie, your right, its not up to them who gets invited..thats what i keep trying to tell my other half..

 

[Urchin]

Eblinx, I caused trouble in my family last year by not inviting my brother to Mason's big summer birthday party. My other brother tried to talk me round by saying " but it's a big family thing"

I said "EXACTLY!", by being such a ******* my brother had ruined stuff like that for himself....if he'd been a nicer person he's be welcome at family events. It sounds like you have a similar "problem" (mine wasn't a problem for me though)

 

[Eblinx]

Exactly..im not going to go into detail of what happened, but they dont deserve to be there..its not only me that doesnt want them there..its my other half aswell..so why cant people just accept it and let us get on with it?

 

[Strangeness]

I knew I'd have problems like this with our wedding because there are people in my dh's family we didn't want to be there so we went abroad and did it without telling many people! His family aren't very pleased but I couldn't care less to be honest! All I wanted was a stress free day and I hate doing things in front of people so I didn't want everyone there. My mum knew we were doing it but she was so pleased that she didn't care that she wouldn't be there! The only people who were there was my sister and brother in law because they live in Gibraltar where we got married and we needed the witnesses! It was an amazing day, so relaxed just how I wanted it! So my Mil is still annoyed about it (even though she won't say it to my face and insists on sneering behind my back) but it was our day and we loved it

 

[Hypnorm]

its amazing how much stress and family feuds a wedding can bring up!
We had a very small wedding and narrowed it down to close friends and family to the reception and anyone could come to the wedding. But we still upset my great aunt, as we invited her, but we said no kids at the wedding, with my aunt always comes her son, daughter in law and granddaughter, My great aunty got in a huff because we didn't invite her son etc. (i didn't want them there as they are not my immeadiate family) then she was going on about how her granddaughter would make a great brides maid... in the end she didn't come but still makes a point of saying stuff about it.
we limited our reception to 30 people and we didn't have an evening do!
total cost of wedding £1500 yes under 2 thousand pounds!!

 

[Urchin]

its amazing how much stress and family feuds a wedding can bring up!
We had a very small wedding and narrowed it down to close friends and family to the reception and anyone could come to the wedding. But we still upset my great aunt, as we invited her, but we said no kids at the wedding, with my aunt always comes her son, daughter in law and granddaughter, My great aunty got in a huff because we didn't invite her son etc. (i didn't want them there as they are not my immeadiate family) then she was going on about how her granddaughter would make a great brides maid... in the end she didn't come but still makes a point of saying stuff about it.
we limited our reception to 30 people and we didn't have an evening do!
total cost of wedding £1500 yes under 2 thousand pounds!!

That sounds like my wedding, we had 40 people for a meal, then went to the hotel bar. Nice and simple

 

[Hypnorm]

exactly it was great! mum and dad said we could either have a big wedding or they would buy us something we could use, so we voted for the 'use' and they bought us a small boat, which we also had our honey moon on! we spent time doing it up and we have recently sold it to get a bigger one. needed more space for LO!

I had a great day, my dress was from oxfam! my bridesmaid had her own dress, i was quite happy using my grandad car, but my dad suprized me on the day and a limo turned up!