depression

[NatB]

hi, lately i have been really depressed. I am 17 and 19 wks + 1day pregnant. at the beginning of the pregnancy i discussed obortion with my OH and we agreed to do it but i told my mum and dad the morning i found out and i decided i wanted the baby and that i was stupid for getting my self in this position and the baby shouldn't suffer for this, slowly i have come round to the idea of being pregnant and feeling the baby kick makes me so excited and happy. I have lots of support from my mum, dad and OH (despite going against our agreement) and i have no reason for being depressed but i can't help feeling like a failure. I have failed my college course, my relationship isn't going so 'brillant' and i feel like i have failed at being a mum already because i said i didnt want it. I do love the baby and i want to give it everything but i am goig to be such a useless mum. i don't know what to do with babies i know it sounds stupid but i feel like this baby deserves better then me. I am so scared about everything the labour, birth and motherhood and it is really dragging me down... i have had a lot of people say i told you so to me when i got pregnant and call me nasty names which make me feel cheap. everyone is so excited about their babies and i so scared, i cry most days i have discussed this with my mum but she just says hormones and stuff play a big part in it but i don't know what to do to stop me feeling so low.

sorry for the long message just wondered if any one has any advice

Nat

 

[LinsG]

Oh god, poor you.

Firstly, don't listen to anyone that said i told you so. THese people are not your friends!!!

You have been brave, thought about everything and made a tough decision, whichever decision you made had to be the right one for you. I'm pleased that your parents are being so supportive and your mum is right to a certain extent, your hormones will be raging at the moment.

As far as you thinking you've failed as a mother already, there is no way!!!! You obviosuly love the child growing inside you. I'll bet if we're all honest each one of us on this forum is scared that they won't be a good mother, no matter what age they are. I even posted myself saying the same thing and I'm 28! I'll bet you'll be a wonderful mother.

I hope you feel better soon hun xxx

 

[NooNoo]

hi hun..firstly

Im also 17 and 27 weeks pg..first off..dont feel bad for considering an abortion..there are many things to consider when getting pregnant by accident...

I have many days where I sit there thinking..what am I doing here theres no way I can be a mum, im not ready..even people who have actively tried for a baby get this feeling after concieving..

and at danger of sounding like your mum...hormones do play a big part in how we think about things..

That may not be much help to you but feel free to PM if you want to talk

 

[Jen79]

Sorry you feel like this, I think you are being very hard on yourself and blaming yourself for not maybe wanting your baby at the start. You are not automatically going to be a bad mum because of your age/not being overjoyed about the pregnancy etc. You kept your baby when a lot of people may have decided not to, I think you are very brave to do that and also its an unselfish thing to do, you should remember that when you feel down. Everyone has their worries and stuff when they are pregnant and thats completely normal but there is pre natal depression which some people get and if you are feeling really low I think you should see your GP. Also see your midwife about going to some antenatal classes which will boost your confidence, have faith in yourself and your abilities though - it will all be fine (none of us are experts with kids, you just muddle along and as long as you love them it all works out in the end!)Take care x

 

[frangelle]

Aw hun, I can really relate to this

I was 17 when I got pg with my first and I even went to the abortion clinic, but couldn't go through with it, as I realised I was doing what everyone else wanted, not what I wanted.

And now I have my little man who I love with all my heart.

You're not a failure, it is sich a shock finding out your pg, I know my head was all over the place. Just trust yourself hun.

I also know that things seem to look a hundred times worse when you're pg- I know I'm letting things get to me that wouldn't normally bother me.

Hope you feel better soon xxx

 

[Josephine_Beth]

First off, you have taken a bold step to keep your child, I am against abortion, it's an easy way out of an adult life but that is my view.

You are a lot more mature than you think, give yourself credit for that hun. You are 17yrs old, a very young age to take on such committment but you have your family behind you. If your relationship can not withstand this step in life, don't panic about this, you need to do what is right for your baby.

So don't feel hard upon yourself, you both are young and this is a big deal, depression during a pregnancy is more common than you think, take one day at a time. It looks like you are trying to deal with everything at once, don't burden yourself with that, talk to your mum, she'll understand what you are going through. Even if it means you have to take a week off work to get your head together.

Remember, we are all here for you, no matter what xxxxxxx

 

[Babylicious]

You are stronger than you think, we all have doubts hun - I was in the same boat and got caught pg with Paris at 17. I didn't have a clue either, but she's a happy heathly 7 year old now

 

[lauramumof2]

Thats such a sad wee post, I am sending you a big hug.
Dont think of you college course as being failed, jus postponed till later.
Your mum is right, hormones are a nightmare and make you feel shitty. You could have low iron as well. had this in my 2nd pg and I felt like the world was ending but I knoew from the last pg that these things could happen and I went to the doc. It was low iron which means you just cant funtion right and need iron tablets.

You need to put the things that have gone before in the past where they belong. What matters is now. Stick with your mu, you are her little girl remember.


As for the name callers, screw them. WHat do they know about anything??

 

[NatB]

hi
thank you all for your support, i think i will see my GP and ask what i can do if anything to make me happier. Thank you all for understanding. xxx