Cycle 19 and struggling to stay positive

[nilka35]

Hi ladies
Just need abit of a rant im on cd2 of cycle 19 now .
We are waiting for my oh to have a second seman analysis as his first showed low motility but they wont refer us until hes done a second one which isnt till mid march!
I know i should be pleased that the drs have started the procedure but im really struggling to stay positive at the moment. My step sister has just had a baby and is posting pics all over and ofcourse its my mums newest grandchild so its all happy times and i hate feeling bitter about it and know i shouldnt.
Im 35 in may and everymonth is getting harder. Im terrifeid of thw thought of ivf i was diagnosed with cancer nearly 5 years ago and allthough ive been in remission for nearly 4 years i have had enough of hospitals to last me me a lifetime , i guess i just hoped this part of my life would be nice and easy.
Sorry rant over
I know there are plenty of people going through worse im just having a feel sorry for myself kinda day x

 

[Branwen]

Just think it will be march before you know it and low mitility does not mean no chance of getting pregnant.

I think there are loads of people struggleing to stay positive, I'm one of them. Go through periods of being uber positive llike now down to the days that I can not even hear the word baby withouth getting teary.

Wish you all the best and hugs.

 

[andy2016]

I thought the same when our appointment was a couple of months away but it came around so quick!

The way you feel about others sharing their baby news is normal I would say, I feel the same myself!

 

[nilka35]

Thank you xxx

 

[Salley]

I feel your pain, I'm rounding cycle 10 (that's just cycles of monitoring, we've BTNP since May 2014) and don't have an appointment for myself until March, which I'm likely to not go to as it's Veteran Affairs and I'd prefer to rely on a doctor outside of that terrible system. Found out I'll potentially get better health coverage in March so will probably wait for that to happen and who knows how long it will take me to get an appointment or even get my new healthcare coverage up and running.

Definitely feel that "why isn't this happening" emotion and I get bitter towards complete strangers when I see them with multiple children. It's good to rant it out sometimes and this is definitely a place where you'll get understanding for bitterness and anger during the ttc process. I hope time flies for you and you're able to get on track with getting answers and getting pregnant. You survived cancer, you can make it through this too!

 

[Gem1308]

Hey Nilka35,
I could of written this post myself.

I have been ttc since Aug 2015 with no success, i'm 34 and oh is 32, had the 21 day bloods done came back fine, me and my OH have an app with the doc this Thurs so no idea what is the next step.
Also my best friend has just announced that she is pregnant along with most of the population on my FB, that is all I keep seeing pregnancies everywhere. Of course I am happy for her but I just keep thinking when will it be me.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, hopefully it will be our time soon.
Hugs and babydust to you
xxxxxxxx

 

[nilka35]

Thank you so much ladies i was having such a rough week im feeling a bit better now and will be until af shows again.
Its amazing to me how many of us are in the same boat i always thought getting pregnant would be easy i was always so careful when i was younger not to have any accidents.
Hopefully all our journeys wont take too long and all end up with bfps xxxz

 

[MoominGirl]

Totally relate to all of the above.

OH also got his SA results, also came back low motility. He's been asked to do another sample which he's sent off. When he told me, I think he was expecting me to dissolve into a puddle of my own tears (I have been a bit unpredictable lately!!). Instead I was kinda like "sure, that sounds about right". Some days I just feel like it's not meant to happen for us. I know low motility is by no means game over but it just feels like another kick in the teeth.

I'm still waiting for my ultrasound. Chased again today after they forgot to refer me in the first place!! Had all my bloods done but have decided I'm going to make one follow up appointment if I ever get the scan done as I can't bear all the back and forward.

 

[nilka35]

Totally relate to all of the above.

OH also got his SA results, also came back low motility. He's been asked to do another sample which he's sent off. When he told me, I think he was expecting me to dissolve into a puddle of my own tears (I have been a bit unpredictable lately!!). Instead I was kinda like "sure, that sounds about right". Some days I just feel like it's not meant to happen for us. I know low motility is by no means game over but it just feels like another kick in the teeth.

I'm still waiting for my ultrasound. Chased again today after they forgot to refer me in the first place!! Had all my bloods done but have decided I'm going to make one follow up appointment if I ever get the scan done as I can't bear all the back and forward.

Yeah we had a feeling it was going to be low motility when my bloods came back ok i guess we need to wait for the 2nd analysis before they say the next move. My dr said she would refer me when i saw her last month to make sure i was on the waiting list now rather than after his results in march, im guessing that will be for a scan? But i have no idea really. I just know i hate waiting x