Coping with what should have been a due date

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Sjf0709, Feb 28, 2019.

  1. Sjf0709

    Sjf0709 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2018
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    139
    Hi

    I had an early miscarriage in July last year and my due date is coming up or should I say what should have been my due date. I’m already struggling with the thought of it and the fact I’m not pregnant... I had a 2nd MC in September too which doesn’t help matters.

    I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice regarding how they coped with what should have been their due date? X
     
  2. chattychar1990

    chattychar1990 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2018
    Messages:
    3,545
    Likes Received:
    406
    No advice but massive hugs to you my darling <3 xx
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  3. Natalie8964

    Natalie8964 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2019
    Messages:
    155
    Likes Received:
    28
    Oh Sarah I'm afraid I can't offer any advice. But sending love to you. I can't wait for tomorrow to come, a new month - the calendar just shows me my dating scan appointment with a love heart, and every time I look at it I feel so sad. I can't imagine what I'll feel like when that due date comes around :( such a cruel process xx
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  4. Mandy119

    Mandy119 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2019
    Messages:
    214
    Likes Received:
    62
    So sorry hun xx It's going to happen for you and you're going to get your sticky bean and once he or she is here it's going to be so much more special for you <3
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  5. PinkFlamingo

    PinkFlamingo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2018
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    3
    Hi, I'm the same my due date was 6th march. I keep counting down the days thinking how I would of been feeling/looking now. :(

    Hopefully this will be our year :dust:
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  6. Sjf0709

    Sjf0709 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2018
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    139
    Thanks for taking the time to reply ladies. I had a cry in my car on the way to work this morning at the thought of it being March but I’ll have no March 2019 baby :( I’ll just have to take each day as it comes... it’s going to be a long month and 30th Marc is going to be a hard day. Thanks for your support as always x
     
  7. pink79

    pink79 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2013
    Messages:
    439
    Likes Received:
    24
    I have no advice but am in the same position, I just keep thinking I should be on mat leave , my due date was 6th April, I now have two due dates to get through this year, my next due date would have been 16th September but I am currently recovering from a mmc, I don't know what's harder right now - impending due date or another loss
    Sending hugs xx
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  8. Sjf0709

    Sjf0709 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2018
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    139
    Thanks @pink79 so sorry to hear of your losses too. I have a May/June due date to contend with too. It’s crap!! I’m just telling myself all of this waiting and pain will make me a better mummy whenthe time is right x
     
  9. Rainbow1234

    Rainbow1234 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2012
    Messages:
    1,853
    Likes Received:
    46
    I’m the same ladies. I was due 7th March. I’m trying not to think about it but it’s impossible not to. Hope iou’re All ok xx
     
  10. Sjf0709

    Sjf0709 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2018
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    139
  11. Pinkz

    Pinkz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2017
    Messages:
    940
    Likes Received:
    6
    Mine should be 1 this month. Its still so painful. Especially because we haven't been able to get pregnant since. We had tests and they said we were fine so its really hard to think about it to be honest.

    I just try to switch off as much as possible. Concentrate on my weight loss, because thats something I can sort of control and apparently getting pregnant is not.

    Good luck
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  12. SugaryIris

    SugaryIris Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2017
    Messages:
    819
    Likes Received:
    74
    Hey Hun, the due date is a really painful reminder especially when you haven’t conceived since.

    I also had an experience of a girl putting up a scan and I realised we must have conceived around the same time so that is how big my baby would of been.

    It’s useless torturing ourselves but yet we do it anyway!

    Try to do something exciting on the day so that you can distract yourself maybe?

    Big hugs xxx
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  13. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2016
    Messages:
    1,224
    Likes Received:
    73
    I know it sounds silly but I would just stay indoors with the oh that day, leave the kids with a family member, guardian, or whatever and order take out, watch dumb comedy films or shows and snack on anything you can find! I would stock up the day before so we wouldn't have to leave the house and stay in pjs all day.
    There is no easy answer that can help you get past it, but make it about you and the oh. Don't spend it alone with your thoughts, it will only be harder to get through the day.
    Sending you loads of hugs!x
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  14. Sjf0709

    Sjf0709 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2018
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    139
    <3 thanks hun I might be working on my due date but I’ll definitely do everything you’ve suggested when I get in. No kids for us yet :’-( so no need in getting someone to babysit x
     
  15. SpiritedAway

    SpiritedAway Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2015
    Messages:
    989
    Likes Received:
    3
    I'm so sorry Sarah, I've had two miscarriages, the first I didn't know I was pregnant and I lost at 13 weeks and the second we'd been trying for 18 months, it made a huge impact on my 3rd pregnancy as I got pregnant 3 weeks later.

    I tried not to look into the dates because I knew I'd dwell and get more upset, I do know the dates we found out.

    On baby loss awareness week, I lit candles for them and cried. Then for my 2nd miscarriage I actually still had booked a tattoo months before (for the week after I lost) so I got him to work a small lotus flower into the design to always remember the little one I lost.

    Maybe in future you could try candle lighting or even planting something small in your garden?

    Find a way to get it all out and really cry, to your partner, friends or family. It really helped me, for my 2nd loss I couldn't grieve I couldn't let go to cry and it really hit me weeks later as my hormones were all over the place.

    Big hugs hun x
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.
  16. Sjf0709

    Sjf0709 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2018
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    139
    Thanks hun. I lit candles on baby loss awareness day <3 just struggling that my due date is the weekend of mother’s day... can’t wait to get this month over and done with x
     
  17. SpiritedAway

    SpiritedAway Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2015
    Messages:
    989
    Likes Received:
    3
    I can totally understand that xx The loss before my son was the week of my birthday, so I just didn't want to do anything and my family had booked a meal.

    Maybe book a spa day with your mum? Treat yourself, I know it's really hard, I blamed myself for a while but what helped me was that it perhaps wasn't ment to be. If I hadn't of had that loss then I would of never of got pregnant with my little boy. Your rainbow baby will happen, and when it happens it's ment to be xxx
     
    Sjf0709 likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice