I'm 15 weeks pregnant (unplanned) and the father and i have been in an on off relationship since we split from just over a year together.
Hes accused me of pushing him away and says i will use the baby against him. I dont think so:
1. My mum actually missed out on seeing the first scan because the midwife asked for one person to come in the scan room with me, so my mum told him to go ahead.
2.When i missed a period, i told him and i told him he should keep in contact with me if he wants to be involved if it turns out to be a pregnancy. ( Reason being i didnt contact him was because i couldnt, he had no mobile or landline)
2. I also asked him if he wanted to come to the brooke centre with me for a pregnancy test...he said yes....but didnt contact me.
I didnt tell him he had too, i left it entirely up to him to come with me and he told me he really wanted too.
3.When i finally got hold of him to let him know i was having his baby and what he wanted to do about it, he said he wanted to be there for me and the baby through everything.
He even asked if we could try again with the relationship.
....so i asked him to come to meet the midwife at the doctors with me
....did he contact me?
...nope.
His excuse was he had priorities like work.
...his priorities changed when he wanted to book some days off work for a holiday with mates...
4. The first time i met my midwife, he told me he would take a day off work and come with me. I was so happy i wouldnt have to do it on my own, and when it came to the day, he never turned up so i was left to go alone
im so frustrated because hes telling me things that arent going to happen...and making me feel bad...i actually feel like im in the wrong.
I dont want him to be telling people that i am pushing him away, i have tried so hard to let him know about scans and other appointments.
I HATE the idea the idea of having a daddy to my baby who is going to waltz in and out when it gets too tough, and do what he feels like, when im going to have to be there through every second of this, but i cant stop a baby from being involved with its dad can i?
Im struggling to come to terms with this myself, i know he must be too but lashing out at me isnt fair. I felt i could cope with a baby with support from him, but with all this stress now, and verbal abuse hes giving me, my emotions are in pieces.
Im 18 and going to be all alone through this, or with someone who makes me feel small and unhappy.....its so scary.
I want to be the best i can be for this baby...but hes making it so hard, he KNOWS exactly what gets me worked up, and what upsets me, so he pushes it. I honestly cant believe someone can be so selfish and hurtful and carry on and on and on. especially someone i love.
I know its not easy for him, but it aint exactly easy for me too. Im one hell of an emotional person without the added hormones that come with pregnancy...im an emotional wreck after that argument...what harm must it be doing to the baby?
I know you may say hes running away and not contacting me because hes scared, but he did it constantly when we were together. He didnt seem to realise that if you are in a relationship with someone you cant just disappear on drunken weekends with friends and not contact your girlfirend. I would have thought a baby would have knocked some sense into him.
He also drinks and smokes for england, and when i confronted him about maybe cutting down he yelled at me for "telling him what to do"
I have completely quit smoking and after having trouble with alcohol and going from drinking almost every day, i have stopped completely, which im so proud off but this is making it harder to stay dry!
Please PLEASE send me some feedback, if you can be bothered reading this! Please help!
Hes accused me of pushing him away and says i will use the baby against him. I dont think so:
1. My mum actually missed out on seeing the first scan because the midwife asked for one person to come in the scan room with me, so my mum told him to go ahead.
2.When i missed a period, i told him and i told him he should keep in contact with me if he wants to be involved if it turns out to be a pregnancy. ( Reason being i didnt contact him was because i couldnt, he had no mobile or landline)
2. I also asked him if he wanted to come to the brooke centre with me for a pregnancy test...he said yes....but didnt contact me.
I didnt tell him he had too, i left it entirely up to him to come with me and he told me he really wanted too.
3.When i finally got hold of him to let him know i was having his baby and what he wanted to do about it, he said he wanted to be there for me and the baby through everything.
He even asked if we could try again with the relationship.
....so i asked him to come to meet the midwife at the doctors with me
....did he contact me?
...nope.
His excuse was he had priorities like work.
...his priorities changed when he wanted to book some days off work for a holiday with mates...
4. The first time i met my midwife, he told me he would take a day off work and come with me. I was so happy i wouldnt have to do it on my own, and when it came to the day, he never turned up so i was left to go alone
im so frustrated because hes telling me things that arent going to happen...and making me feel bad...i actually feel like im in the wrong.
I dont want him to be telling people that i am pushing him away, i have tried so hard to let him know about scans and other appointments.
I HATE the idea the idea of having a daddy to my baby who is going to waltz in and out when it gets too tough, and do what he feels like, when im going to have to be there through every second of this, but i cant stop a baby from being involved with its dad can i?
Im struggling to come to terms with this myself, i know he must be too but lashing out at me isnt fair. I felt i could cope with a baby with support from him, but with all this stress now, and verbal abuse hes giving me, my emotions are in pieces.
Im 18 and going to be all alone through this, or with someone who makes me feel small and unhappy.....its so scary.
I want to be the best i can be for this baby...but hes making it so hard, he KNOWS exactly what gets me worked up, and what upsets me, so he pushes it. I honestly cant believe someone can be so selfish and hurtful and carry on and on and on. especially someone i love.
I know its not easy for him, but it aint exactly easy for me too. Im one hell of an emotional person without the added hormones that come with pregnancy...im an emotional wreck after that argument...what harm must it be doing to the baby?
I know you may say hes running away and not contacting me because hes scared, but he did it constantly when we were together. He didnt seem to realise that if you are in a relationship with someone you cant just disappear on drunken weekends with friends and not contact your girlfirend. I would have thought a baby would have knocked some sense into him.
He also drinks and smokes for england, and when i confronted him about maybe cutting down he yelled at me for "telling him what to do"
I have completely quit smoking and after having trouble with alcohol and going from drinking almost every day, i have stopped completely, which im so proud off but this is making it harder to stay dry!
Please PLEASE send me some feedback, if you can be bothered reading this! Please help!
