Changing Surnames of DS

[number2]

Hi all,

Just want a bit of advice really, see what people think.

I hope this doesn't get complicated....

Had DS with my ex, decided on double barrel surnames, so he's (me)Ralf-Roosay(ex).

Now I'm with my new partner, and we are getting married next year, the new baby will just be his surname, Moree and I'll be next May as well.

So I can't leave DS Ralf, as I won't be one anymore, so I'll change it to Moree.

Do people agree on this?

Am already worried about DS growing up and feeling like the baby calls my partner daddy, but his daddy lives in another house, and he's married now and has a baby also, so hate to think he'll feel like he doesn't fit in either family.

When he starts school kids are mean, don't want him being teased on having a long surname, plus he's learnt his now, so will be weird when I tell him its changed!

 

[Mamafy]

Hi hun

If the Daddy was agreeable you can change his name by deed poll and it would be all legal. If the Dad isn't agreeable I believe you can still use a 'preferred' name for doctors and schools etc

 

[nancy]

To be honest I think us parents worry about names more than kids. I come from a very complicated family and I always had my father's name. It didn't bother me that my mum had a different name when she re-married at all - I had the chance to change my name but chose not to. She felt the need to give my half-brother the same name as me and my other brother when he was born as she wasn't married to his dad and was still known by her married name until she married my step-dad. When she married my step-dad (not my half-brother's dad) she then changed his name to her new name. I hope that makes sense, it's confusing even talking about it lol.

However, I hate the fact that I don't have the same name as my children as OH and I haven't married yet - all 3 children have his name. I feel there is less confusion this way but I've even considered changing my own name by deed poll if he doesn't marry me soon!!!!

Anyway, I hope I haven't confused you further but I really wanted to say that it probably won't matter at all what your son's name is, I don't get the impression from your post that he will ever feel like an outsider no matter what his name is.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

like mamafy said, if daddy consents, then you can change it by deedpoll, its dead simple and you can do it online, but then get it signed and witnessed when they send it out to you. if daddy doesnt consent, you can still call LO by a preferred name. my girls have different surnames, but the same dad (we'd split when i had #2) and they'll both be using my surname!!

 

[number2]

I'm sure the ex will understand, I still happy for his part to be stuck on the end, but yes, I really don't want to leave him with the Ralf, the only person with that is my father now, and we don't speak so!

Thanks for the advice on deedpoll.

After I posted this I thought I'd run it past DS, told him about surnames, getting married etc. He was not impressed. 'I don't want to be called that' Guess I'll have to be introducing this one carefully and gradually. Its a shame with timings that he'll start school Sept, and then have to change the name May time next year. But, oh well. Do enjoy the tribulations of these modern families!

 

[becks20]

My daughter has a double barrel surname, mine n my ex`s and now i wish id have given her just mine, my ex is an ass so he wont even let me change it but my daughter knows her surname and i wouldnt change it now but this baby is going to have my surname even if me and my oh get married because i want my daughter and this baby to have the same sort of surname to link them, think id get confused if i dont haha! but its all down to you, ur ex and your son, just keep asking him but if he really doesnt want it will you still go ahead with it? good luck x

 

[lou'n'4boys]

i split with my ex and i had 2 boys to him with his name, he took me to court for parental responsibility of them(he didnt automatically get it as they were born pre 2003) and i couldnt changer ther names by deed poll so i just did it as 'known as' and tbh noone ever calls them by their fathers name now they are at high school and even that has been done in my name