Can I have some advice please

[marge]

Please help as I need to know if I’m being unfair, just feeling sorry for myself or both!

DH lives in Holland mon - fri and he comes home most weekends, however he often has to work weekends so is not always back. I have worked out my cycles and he is now not going to be back in the UK at the ‘right’ time until May! A weekend back home in April would have covered the ‘right’ time but now his stupid work have changed the dates he is away.

I feel so angry with him and his work that they seem to be dictating when we can try and conceive. Am I being unfair? He has been doing this job for just over a year and we even had to move our holiday last year for his work. I just feel that I’m having to sacrifice things at the moment. I’m nearly 32 and he is 25 so I feel that my time is running out. Having a child is something we have always planned so I know its not an issue with him that he doesn’t want kids.

I have also been charting with temps for the last 5 months and I’m not sure if I should give this up? I don’t know if I’m being to obsessive with it all and does it really matter when I ovulate as DH isn’t here anyway.

I feel so many things at the moment – anger, confusion, guilt.

Sorry this rant has gone on, but none of my friends or family (except my mum) understand how I feel or what its like to want a child so badly (mum was trying for 4 years)

 

[gerb]

i feel ur frustration! with the ttc alone without everything else!
i think u have to try and not let it come between u, but its very hard to not get obsessed- especially wen your times together are so limited... not sure what else to say, but my other half is 5 years younger than me too so i certainly feel more urgency also i think xx

 

[notty]

I do feel for you Marge. You and your OH need to sit down and talk. Tell him exactly how you feel and explain about your fears because of your age etc.
Can you come to some compromise? Take a holiday and go out with him for a week or two (around ovulation). Can he get fixed dates to work so that you know where you are? It's not fair on your relationship if work keep changing his dates... you have little time together and that time ahould not be hampered by his job.

 

[bubble216]

Don't say sorry hun it is really frustrating for you and we are all here to support each other

Could you go out to Holland at times when you are ovulating?

xx

 

[marge]

Thanks for making me feel better

I'm really trying hard for it not to come between us but as you all know thats easier said than done! I dont want it to take over my life either.

We do talk alot about the baby stuff and he tries to be really understanding especially when AF turns up!

We managed over xmas and this cycle to be together at ovulation time but no baby yet . Since starting TTC we have tried to time things right (him being here or me being there) most cycles which isnt to bad with a 2 day window (I can only go at weekends)! He has a copy of my cycle planner and I've asked him to try and not book work trips around these times, maybe I suggest his boss has a copy!
Also I dont get many holidays at work so that doesnt help either, I cant even pop over there.

I feel so guilty feeling like this but its hard when you've dreamed of this for 13 years!

Thanks again for listening and the advice xx