Breastfeeding your toddler while pregnant again?

[TipsyDipsy]

I don't know what to do. My midwife said I should try to get my 2 and a half year old off the breast. Which I'd love to do know as I feel ready if it were that easy.
She isn't ready to stop breastfeeding and doesn't understand societies views on the act of breastfeeding a child that is no longer a baby.
She screams for hours on end until she makes herself sick.
Another problem is that we co-sleep (share a bed) and that if I were to try to get her off the breast I'd have to put her in her own cot as well because it would be impossible otherwise because she takes what she wants when I'm asleep.
I feel like i'm in-between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to traumatise my little girl by trying to break her of her two comforts at the same time but couldn't do it separately either.
My midwife said that if I continue to produce milk through pregnancy my body won't produce the all important colostrum for the new baby and that my toddler could take too much of the newborns milk and the new arrival could go hungry.
Any ideas on how to tackle this problem or advice from mothers who have been through this would be really helpful.

 

[weestar21]

cant really find an easy way for you hunny

only thing i can suggest isget her into her own bed first, i think that is the biggest on for now. Try for the next few weeks just putting her into her cot/bed and if she gets out just keep putting her back in and just gently tell her that this is her bed. I know how hard it is hun as she will scream the place down but you just got to keep going at it.

Have you tried giving her a bottle? It will be extra hard i think for you hun as she is 2 and shes set in her ways.

I really cant think of anything else that could make it easier for both you and her

really hope it gets better you never knowmaybe shewill go off the booby if you took her shopping and got her a bottle or fancy dummy she picked out. i really dont know if im helping just wish you all the very best hun
xxxxxx

 

[TipsyDipsy]

Thank hun you are helping. I know there isn't really an easy answer unfortunately. She didn't ever take the dummy (stopped wanting it at about 4 months). And I think she's a bit old to have the bottle now.
Good idea about the putting her in her own bed first though. I didn't think of that.
I don't know i've heard of other mums breastfeeding their older child and newborn but I think I want to take the chance of the newborn going without.

 

[weestar21]

i cant say anything about breastfeeding as i only managed to express for 6 weeks with Adele and Colby just wouldnt take to it at all.

I just confussed that how could baby get hungry, i thought the more you boobie fed the more milk you produced because if that wasnt the case how to boobie fed twins manage? sorry just a weird thought.

Try with the bed thing tonite if possible and see how it goes, you still have a good few months to go anyway but personally i would do the bed thing first then the boobie. Just dont do them both at once as i dont think it would work as they both are her comfort zones.

sorry if im rambling on been a long day today and my bed is shouting on me but just cant get to it

 

[TipsyDipsy]

Its been a long day for me too. Hubbie has taken a screaming Jess out for a car ride Phew.
I know what you mean. I think she was just concerned with different amounts a toddler could take if offered. With twins they tend to both require the same amount if they are the same age.
I don't know for sure either. Until the midwife mentioned it I was just going to carry on as before.

 

[skatty]

Hi Tipsydipsy, I obviously have no experience with this but I did see a show with that child psycholgist Dr Tanya and she helped a woman over the week to ween her toddler off the breast. It was really hard for both of them but she advised her to make her breasts unavailable, wear tops where he couldn't get them out and put the little boy in his own bed. It was hell at first but she persisted (probably much easier with Dr Tanya's encouragement!) and I think they also went and picked out a new grown up cup together.

Good luck anyway and well done for managing to BF so long!

 

[Rosieroo]

Hey

I'm still bf Ella though she's just coming up 8 months, just riding it out at the moment. Have you checked out www.kellymom.com for any tandem feeding advice?

 

[TipsyDipsy]

Thanks for the advice Skatty. I think I watched a similar programme baby whisperer it was called I think.
Thats what i've been trying to do in the day although in the night its impossible as she just takes what she wants

Thanks Kina I'll check out that website just in case I can't do it and just decide to wing it.
I'm sure it'll be ok like they say you produce as much as the they take so hopefully all that will happen if I can't wean her off before the birth is that i'll get that pregnancy weight off all the faster.
I'm already knackered as i'm 8 weeks pregnant and tired all the time. I've got work for 10 and a half hours on Tuesday and Wednesday so I don't know how much lack of sleep I can cope with until I just give in.

 

[Urchin]

I would sort the bed issue out first, as when the baby arrives it would be pretty impossible for her to share the bad then as the baby would wake her up all night and you'd be feeding them both and no getting any rest at all.

Will she take expressed milk from a cup? Maybe make your boobs unavailable, but give her massive cuddles and hugs if she drinks from a cup, then make the switch to cows milk.

As long as she stilll gets the closeness of feeding without the feeding she should not suffer with it too much. Give her loads of cuddles

 

[TipsyDipsy]

I will do thanks urchin.
Its good to know i've got support here. I'll keep you all informed how it goes. I wish I had a magic wand sometimes.
I was hoping my milk would dry up during pregnancy and do it for me as i've read in the books that its supposed to with hormonal changes but i've heard of too many women bf to full term pregnancy and beyond to believe it much now.

 

[Rosieroo]

I know what you mean about the tiredness Tipsy, I'm ready to drop!

It's only early days in your pg so there is still ages for the milk to diminish or for the taste to change. Do you want to stop b/f?

 

[TipsyDipsy]

I don't mind the bf really myself to be honest.
It has never bothered me.
I just wait a bit more and see what happens I don't know.
Perhaps wait until the tiredness of the 1st tri wears off.

 

[Rosieroo]

The tiredness sucks If you need to chat feel free to pm me hon

 

[TipsyDipsy]

Thanks babe I might just do that You too if it ever gets too much.
For now though I think i'll go and have early night.
Been down barry island all day and think we could both do with a early night.

 

[beanie]

Hey

My midwife said that if I continue to produce milk through pregnancy my body won't produce the all important colostrum for the new baby and that my toddler could take too much of the newborns milk and the new arrival could go hungry.

First of all your midwife is wrong, breastfeeding your toddler will not diminish your milk for your new baby, your milk will change into colostrum towards the end of your pregnancy and will be perfect for baby. Your toddler may decide that they don't like the taste of the colostrum though.

To be honest from reading your post the only advice I can give is follow your heart. It sounds as if you enjoy breastfeeding and your toddler is too so if you are both happy why not carry on? I agree with weestar about doing one thing at a time if you do want to make changes. Good luck with it hun whatever you decide to do. I really admire you for feeding as long as you have

 

[TipsyDipsy]

First of all your midwife is wrong, breastfeeding your toddler will not diminish your milk for your new baby, your milk will change into colostrum towards the end of your pregnancy and will be perfect for baby.

Oh thank god for that.
I'm so glad thats what I was worried about. That the newborn would miss out on the colostrum.
I've been reading up on toddler-newborn tandam feeding as well and i've come to the conclusion that the midewife was wrong as well. I don't think the baby will go without i'll just make more than I would of.
Your right I do enjoy bf. I enjoy the cuddle and kiss her head while she does it.
I think I might just carry on for a while and see what happens for now.
Thanks for everyones advice you've all helped me make up my mind on what to do.