birds & the bees?

[Kimbo]

ive just been talking to lisa&alex about how she told her daughter that she was having a baby.

my mates mum told her that she found her in a trolley outside morrisons

anyone else got any funny ones?

there was also a lad in school who thought that babies came from puddles

 

[lisa&alex]

hahahahah!!

well my mum told me my brother came from under a bush...

so i decided to tell charlotte that daddy puts a tadpole inside mummy.. and mummys got an egg, the tadpole (which i then showed ehr a picture of sperm meeting an egg) kisses mammys egg and they make a ball of cells that looks like this.. n showed her doubeling cells lol.. then they grow into a embryo. lol.. and showed her that.. and ever week i showed her how big the baby grows and she was pretty happy woth that explanation!! thank god she didnt ask how did fdaddy put the tadpole there.. lol.. phewf escaped that question for a few years

 

[clairescunny55]

apparently i was found under a raspberry bush

 

[Robyn_]

lol
i cant remember how i got told, i think my mum just sat me down with a book and showed me it all or something

 

[Tiffy]

My mother explained everything very thoroughly and honestly, but I didn't get it.

 

[emma28]

My little man told me today in Morrisons at the top of his voice that he knew how com I had a baby in my tummy...

He said i put it in my mouth, it went down my throat and into my tummy til it came out of my bum!!!

Close enough I thought!

 

[trixipaws]

at first my mum told me parents made a baby by "kissing in a special way". when i was 8 or 9 she told me the truth and it made a lot more sense! that special kiss had always baffled me!

 

[mishm]

I remember a boy from school and he used to say his mum got him from oxfam for 50p in the sale

Cant remember how i was told,but my DD said to me when i was pregnant last time that i ate the baby to get it in my tummy bless.

 

[Kelly G]

We Told Brooke That Mummy And Daddy Have A Special Cuddle And Daddy Plants A Seed In Mummys Tummy And It Grows Into A Baby!

She Seemed Happy With That

 

[Kimbo]

I remember a boy from school and he used to say his mum got him from oxfam for 50p in the sale

.

 

[Squiglet]

I used to tell Tia that she came from the Tia shop and if she was really naughty we would take her back and buy another Tia. Then she cottoned on to this and always said that she had just walked past the shop and it was closed.

As she was 7 when I got pregnant and had some education about the making of babies through educational health books (ie. how the body works) she was already clued up on how tadpoles and eggs work...

But for a long time she kept asking me what drugs I had taken to get pregnant.??? Until I realised that she had seen that episode of the Simpsons when everyone puts fertility drugs in Apu's wife's food/drinks and ended up having six babies.... And she thought that you got tadpoles in you by taking drugs... So to stop her constantly asking me if I took drugs in public (just a tad embarrassing)... I had to explain sex to her the other day. The reaction went something along the lines of

...OH...MY....GOD...Thats so disgusting... You let Dad do that to you!!!??? What are you crazy or sumptin????

She might be on to something there...

 

[tracyM]

I've told all mine the facts of life according to their age and understanding of things, but we have a silly little story for each of them

I found Daniel in a box with some puppies, wasn't allowed any pets, so kept him instead.

We bought Callum from Focus DIY. The warranty's now expired so we can't get a refund, although we've tried many, many times.

Charlotte was delivered as a birthday present (she was born on my birthday). I waited all day for her, but as usual the postman was late so I went without my birthday cake.

Alex was a late Christmas present. Father Christmas got drunk, forgot about our house and dropped Alex down the chimney 5 days late in the middle of the night.

 

[missac]

If anyone wants a little help on the matter there is this book which is really good http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mummy-Laid-Egg- ... 0099299119 there is also another one called hair in funny places that is good aswell!!