BF and support

[keli]

How much support have you got with BF?

I was out the other day for lunch with my mum, i took some food out for Cooper but no drink as i demand feed and my mum said i should really start taking a drink out with his lunch..

My sister said that she couldn't be around us if i carried on BF for too long....

So i have no support with BF in RL

I really want Cooper to self wean and he will self wean but i can see after a certain age ..say when he starts walking i may have to do it private only.

To BF's that are past the weaning age, when baby fully weaned how many feeds a day do you do? When does it become only a morning and night thing?

 

[Squiglet]

I have had no support at all really... Only DH and my mum (and subsequently my dad as he has no say )...but even then my mum strives for independence so thinks that I should be expressing cups of milk for lil miss now all the time... But she never had issues with expressing like I do.

Currently my worst enemy is the health profession. I am in the process of changing my doctor because the doctor i have is refusing to treat me for anything unless I give up breastfeeding. He won't even give me my Crohn's meds which I took all the way through my pregnancy and when lil miss was fully bf'd. He wouldn't give me antibiotics for the mastitis I had a while back, and I only got my pill because I threatened legal action if I got pregnant due to my health issues and current financial situation means I couldn't care for another baby right now.

The IL haven't been particularly supportive...at all

Its been a constant struggle from day one. The hospital staff when lil miss was born, gave lil miss formula, prevented me physically from feeding her, and when I could made me feel like I was harming her. The doc at lil miss' 3 month check told me to ff and gave me a packet of formula...and the nurse at lil miss' 9 month check did the same.

I have had nothing but negative and nasty comments from the beginning... and tbh its been absolutely soul destroying... But I know I'm right in what I do...and I've always been one of those who stick two fingers up at people who are ignorant like that do what I know is right

Lil miss is fully weaned now and still bf's a lot...Around 6 times a day. Morning and night, after breakfast, before nap time, and a couple of random ones here and there During the day she just wants milky to help her go to sleep though rather than a feed... but the morning, night time and after breakfast are clearly feeds.

I do all mine in private now except if lil miss is really ratty and I am in someone elses home, I will take myself off and feed in the toilet or other room.

 

[kelsey]

Firstly how awful you have no support. Sorry but if you go out and you're happy feeding then carry on. Both of you are doing bril so why "fix" whats not broken?

Do you have any bf groups near you that you could go to for RL support?

As for your question - Leela will be 1 on sunday, she eats solid throuth the day and has me for drinks, and she still feeds quite a bit. Lately she has started waking through the nights for me too. I think that every baby is different and Cooper will cut down his feeds when he's ready.

You can come here for support anytime and should feel no shame in bf and have to do it privately. Do it proudly hun x x x

 

[charlie84]

Its a shame that you dont have any support in RL especially from your family but you carry on till you want to not when other folk think you should quit.

Calleigh is weaned, well i offer three meals a day but she doesnt nesessarily eat alot. And at each meal she has a beaker of water which she will have a couple of sips.

She has about four milk feeds a day.

One first thing when she wakes, another before her nap at 11.30ish, one at around 4ish and her bedtime feed
Occasionally she will wake at 5am for a quick feed.

Calleigh has chosen to feed that way i have taken her lead and if on occasion she wants more i let her. I plan on allowing her to feed on demand until i return to work in Jan when she will only have access to me in the morning and after a finish work

ETA I have full support from my OH, mum and dad, well the majority of my family. But i have encountered many people who ask me when i am finishing feeding or give me the comment of 'she will soon be getting too old for that'

 

[NickyB]

Keli, I can't believe you've been told that, your LO is only 6 months old!

My MIL and DH have been fantastic. My MIL BF'd her youngest for two years which I found inspiring, and I know I'll have her support if we go that far.

I hate to threadjack, but if Midna reads this again, can you explain why Wednesday's not on solids? I don't mean that as it sounds, just not aware of not feeding solids. Gosh, I'm curious, not rude! Sorry!!

 

[valentine]

Aw keli, that's a real shame. I know Lola's Mummy has encountered a few issues with her family (or her in-laws, I can't remember) too so she will definitely sympathise, although her LO was around 11 months or a year when she mentioned it.

I can't believe your LO is just 6 months old and this is your family's attitude. My SIL is breastfeeding at 18 months and none of our family (my inlaws) have commented and its seen as quite normal in our family.

I breastfed til my DD was 1 year (she self weaned ) but I did always offer a beaker of water with food. I really wanted her to learn to love water and drink with her meals - although with your LO being only 6 months, you've plenty of time to worry about introducing this.

Valentine Xxx

 

[NickyB]

Because she dosent want it yet . she has eaten bits off my plate occasionally and there is food for her if she wants it but she likes her milk. Its actually not uncommon lol.

That's really interesting, I'm really ignorant about this stuff. We had a HV in our baby group last week who a)dismissed BLW, b)said breastmilk wasn't sufficient after 6 months, and babies should be given extra vitamins as BM isn't enough, and c)said that you need to wean at 6 months latest or babes wont want to chew and you'll have problems with getting them to eat lumps. I was suspicious at some of the stuff she said.

 

[charlie84]

Because she dosent want it yet . she has eaten bits off my plate occasionally and there is food for her if she wants it but she likes her milk. Its actually not uncommon lol.

That's really interesting, I'm really ignorant about this stuff. We had a HV in our baby group last week who a)dismissed BLW, b)said breastmilk wasn't sufficient after 6 months, and babies should be given extra vitamins as BM isn't enough, and c)said that you need to wean at 6 months latest or babes wont want to chew and you'll have problems with getting them to eat lumps. I was suspicious at some of the stuff she said.

Haha that sounds like my HV.
I had Calleigh weighed the other day and she is dropping down the percentiles and she asked how her weaning was going i just said i offer food but sometimes she will happily go without and manage fine on her boob feeds, i then got the whole speach of 'oh well she needs to be eating alot more and that my milk isnt good enough for her now she is past 6 months yada yada' I just switched off to what she was saying and nodded along

 

[kelsey]

Because she dosent want it yet . she has eaten bits off my plate occasionally and there is food for her if she wants it but she likes her milk. Its actually not uncommon lol.

That's really interesting, I'm really ignorant about this stuff. We had a HV in our baby group last week who a)dismissed BLW, b)said breastmilk wasn't sufficient after 6 months, and babies should be given extra vitamins as BM isn't enough, and c)said that you need to wean at 6 months latest or babes wont want to chew and you'll have problems with getting them to eat lumps. I was suspicious at some of the stuff she said.

Haha that sounds like my HV.
I had Calleigh weighed the other day and she is dropping down the percentiles and she asked how her weaning was going i just said i offer food but sometimes she will happily go without and manage fine on her boob feeds, i then got the whole speach of 'oh well she needs to be eating alot more and that my milk isnt good enough for her now she is past 6 months yada yada' I just switched off to what she was saying and nodded along

Good for you. That "ooh your milk isn't good enough" and "baby needs something else" (yes baby needs something else - for you to butt out lol) crap really gets to me. I've listened to it too many times, believed it too many times and thankfully discovered the net lol.

 

[keli]

Thanks for your replies ladies

Peoples comments (so far) have not put me off and i will let Cooper self wean and still demand feed, i just find it upsetting peoples attitudes especially my own family when they should be the ones that support me the most.

Please don't think i want Cooper to drop his feeds, anything but, but i was just curious to want other babies do.

I think i'll print out the benefits of BF and show my family!

Squiglet i thinks it super after all you've been through with lil miss and the lack of support that the 'professionals' have given you you still BF someone less headstrong would have given in at the first hurdle..

Its a shame that we have to arm ourselves with facts/stick up for ourselves when all we're doing is something that is the most natural thing in the world.

 

[keli]

Thanks for your replies ladies

Peoples comments (so far) have not put me off and i will let Cooper self wean and still demand feed, i just find it upsetting peoples attitudes especially my own family when they should be the ones that support me the most.

Please don't think i want Cooper to drop his feeds, anything but, but i was just curious to want other babies do.

I think i'll print out the benefits of BF and show my family!

Its a shame that we have to arm ourselves with facts/stick up for ourselves when all we're doing is something that is the most natural thing in the world.

I didnt read it as you looking to hurry him into dropping feeds..just curiosity. x You know peoples attitudes are the way they are because they are uneducated. I think printing info is a great thing to have on side.. and yes its a shame we do have to justify ourselfs with facts but information spreads fast...hopefully it wont be seen as such an odd thing to do in a few years time...and you would of contributed to that xxx If you need anymore info then plz pm me.

Thanks Midna xx

 

[Becky]

I'm lucky in that I'm a) bloody minded, b) well informed (thank you forum!) and c) have great support from my mum.

With DD I was less informed and started weaning at just over 4 months old. I did follow her lead and if she wasn't interested didn't bother again for a while but she always had a great interest in our food. I pretty much followed her lead and if she was interested then I let her try it. To this day I have the same attitude, there is no food that she isn't allowed to try and make her own mind up about.

This time I'm hoping to wait until at least 6 months instead of 4 but as I know every child is unique I will ultimately follow the baby's lead and see what is appropriate at the time.

It is frustrating as I believe there is no right or wrong time to wean, but there are some members of my extended family who seem to think that breastfeeding is best but only for about 3 months

But what it comes down to in my opinion is that each child's needs are unique and it's up to the mum to understand those needs and meet them. I will stand as firm on BF as I would on any other parenting issue because (surprise surprise) my instincts are pretty damn good and if I make a decision about my child's upbringing it will be based on what is in their best interest and anyone who doesn't like it can lump it.

It's a shame you don't have much support but I hope you are able to do what you think is right for Cooper regardless of what others think. Mum's intuition is a gift to us and if you think his needs are being met then stick to it.