Bad day

[Lilmisshopeful]

I know it's all down to af arriving today but its really thrown me off track. I was doing so well too but now I'm feeling crap. Oh is back to work to so alone for 4 days. My daughter is here but I have to pretend to be fine but inside I'm dying again. Back to the its not fair stage. I'm also feeling guilty for not crying so much as I was before. I know I have to move on with life but don't want Charlie to think I don't care any more cos I do. If I cry I feel guilty not being there for my daughter and if I don't I feel guilty to Charlie. Damned if I do damned if I don't either way I feel like crap. I want to scream why me but I'd rather it was me than someone who wasn't already blessed with a child but it still sucks so bad. And my daughter goes to uni on the 24th so kinda feel like I'm losing her too. She doesn't need me like she used to so feel useless now. No purpose. I'm a mummy with no child to mother. Arghhhh sorry for the ramble blooming pmt :/ and if you got this far in this rambled mess lol hope your ok xxx

 

[Cazza]

Oh sweetheart Charlie will know that you always think of him whatever you do and he's always with you.

Make the most of the time with your daughter before she goes to uni x

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

Thanks Cazza I just had a bad day. It's just hard to let go and move on but I know I can't stay here forever. I have 1 week left with her and am going to enjoy every moment. She is seeing her friends a lot too tho. We are going for a big family meal with her close friends too and I have bought her a pressie she will love. Gonna go bowling and do the things she enjoys doing with me. We already had a shopping trip it's the simple things now. Like at 18 sleeping in your mums bed lol and I got a feeling she will until oh is back haha. Thanks again means a lot to know someone even read all that mess lol xxx

 

[Browneyed Girl]

I find af arriving one of the hardest times to bear - it feels like I'm reliving my loss all over again the grief is that much. I had a loss in February 2012 and have been unable to conceive since, I think im coping ok and then af arrives and I'm destroyed all over again.

Glad you have your daughter and hope you have a lovely time with her before she goes to uni xx