Baby Presents!

[Levi89]

I noticed a similar thread a bit further down but didnt want to invade!!

Both sides of our family cant wait to start buying for LO and there is huge financial differences between members on both sides. I really dont want his gran or my dad buying big things like the pram as then the mums might feel left out etc. my mum assures me it wont be like this - but I seen what everyone was like on my 21st birthday etc. (my parents have split up!).

So me and the OH came to a decision that whatever we want, we will buy ourselves then people can buy a gift of clothes etc because then it isnt as obvious the amount of money spent. Petty I know and could financially put a strain on us but OH is back on nightshift whilst we save so it should help.

Friends I have told have been a bit like 'oh you'll need help' but they dont know My OH's wages and what we can afford so its really annoying! After telling my friend i had seen a lovely nursery set etc I got as a reply 'thats to expensive' etc etc. I just think well if we are saving for it then its our choice and we arent being restriced to a certain price tag...

Is anyone doing something similar? Xxx

 

[jomc]

I can see where ur coming from, but our situation is a bit different.
My parents are still together and I dont have any grandparents. OH only has his mum but she has quite bad dementia and doesnt even really remember that we are having a baby. All my friends are in Ireland so I know any presents from them will be the usual clothes or little toys. Will be the same from OH's friends.
Since we found out I was pg I have just taken the view that we will buy everything unless someone asks/says otherwise.
Ebay has become a great friend to me
OH doesnt get any overtime in his job and he is not on a fantastic wage... we arent desperate but things could be better. I dont get anything other than the basic maternity leave so things are going to be very tight.
We have got most of the major stuff now, while we are both earning.
My parents havent mentioned about buying us anything.... I reckon they will just give us money or might open up a bank account for the baby or buy savings bonds or something like that.
Maybe thats an idea.... maybe ur friends and family could buy a savings bond? That way they can decide how much they want to spend and its also not obvious to them how much everyone else has spent? I think they start at quite low prices.

 

[Mrs N]

Fortunately my mum and dad have bought our pram and dh's dad has bought our nursery furniture but as no one else has offered yet we are just going to buy stuff and if people want to then they can give us the money for that thing!! MIL keeps saying that we have to leave stuff for people to buy as pressies but I want to make sure my little boy has what he needs when he is born. We are holding back some stuff like highchair as I know he will be given money when he is born but mostly we willbuy stuff ourselves!!
xxx

 

[pinkyprincess]

I've had issues with this, mainly because OH's family jumped right in as soon as we told them we were having a baby, claiming 'ownership' over buying us certain things for e.g
His nan gave us £300 'for the buggy'
His mum insisted on buying us 'the cot and mattress'
and his brother's and sister are trying to say things like 'I want to get the baby bouncer, I want to get the play mat' etc but i've stopped them there and asked MIL to take the money off them until my family buy us things as they'll have not much left to get.
My mum and stepdad (were disapointed that there was nothing big left) but we agreed that when we move, they'll buy us some furniture for the baby's room when we move into a 2 bed place.
My dad and his wife run a baby business on ebay (and have not yet brought us anything believe it or not!) but I'm going to a trade fair with them on Sunday so I'm hoping to pick what I'd like there. If they don't get me anything there, then I'm not waiting anymore they can give us money!

 

[star fish]

I'm having an awful time with this as his parents are much better off than mine and his say things like "we'll pay for the pram and your parents can buy the furniture" as if my parents would be able to spend as much as his! But then my mum's comments are even worse, she says "They can buy the pram and the furniture, they can afford it and we'll get the changing mat and the bedding".

How can I tell them all not to be so assumptive about what the other set should do? Its not a competition! So far I just agree with what everyone says and buy the whole damn lot myself

 

[Levi89]

Starfish thats what our families will be like - and to be honest I would rather save for the things myself.

I like the idea of bonds for the baby! However, I got them when I was born from some of my family and have no idea where the hell they are! Lol xxx