Babies at 43 years

[Scout]

I'm asking this for a friend.
She is 42, and would quite like a baby I think but she and her husband have read some things and now don't think it's a good idea
When the baby was born, she would be 43 and him 45 (I think)
She read that 1 in 48 babies have down syndrome, heart issues, other things. It's put them off, but I think she still wants to go ahead. Has anybody had baby at this age or known anybody that us? What are your views and opinions on it, etc?
Thank you,
Scout

 

[trixipaws]

i kno several ladies on this forum who are in their 40's and had healthy babies. x

 

[Bee]

everyone takes a risk having a baby so personally I don't think age is that huge an issue

I say go for it!

I know of a girl who is in her early 20s who recently had a baby with downs

 

[Urchin]

if they are worried about things like that they could have the nuchal scam and extra tests.

I don't think early 40s are too old at all

 

[BabyMagic]

My friend is 43 and just had a healthy baby boy . She had to have five cycles of IVF though - not that it is necessarily age related.

 

[SarahH]

My friend didnt start to have her kids til she was in her 40's and has 2 healthy kids.

My Mum & Dad were both 40 when they had me - which back then was considered as practically antique parents!

 

[Scout]

She said it's too risky in her opinion, but I can tell she will regret this so bad

 

[SarahH]

She said it's too risky in her opinion, but I can tell she will regret this so bad

Well at the end of the day it is up to her. Hope she chooses the right thing for her.


Why the tho????

 

[charlie84]

My aunty had her two children in her fortys, she was offered testing etc. Babies fine.

Why the tho????

I did wonder this myself

 

[Scout]

Oh gosh sorry I didn't mean that face!

I meant

regret this so bad

 

[cloud9]

reality is the risks do increase with age , THe fact she is 43 she should think about what would she do if she was carrying a child with Dwons syndrome...THere are options but it is a personal choice..

i had my son at 37 and was very worried about downs syndrome .

Although every pregancy has a risk of your child been unhealthy i think the younger you are the less you think it will happen to you.

It is your friends descision ...ultimately
THey just need to make the choice they are happy with as a couple

 

[Scout]

They defintely aren't going ahead, but I fear the worst when she is unable to have a baby. I got a freaky email regarding this thread saying "somebody carry the baby for her, and again and again"... quite concerned now

 

[nori]

I think its definately up to the individual but i probably wouldnt myself. The reason i say this is because my mum had me at 41 and she is now 72. Whilst i would never change my mum for the world i did use to get fed up as a child constantly being asked "is that your nan?" It sounds awful, but as a child it was quite embarrassing. I used to envy the other kids with young trendy mums taking part in the sports day events.

I always said that i would be a young mum but things dont always turn out like you plan and you may not meet the right person til later on in life.. so if i hadnt then maybe i would consider children later.

Its a hard decision but im just trying to put across how it is for the child with an "older" parent. If you asked my mum though she would say that she loved having a child being older as she was calmer and more experienced with life in general.

Hope your friends makes the right decision for them.

Claire x

 

[reallyoldmum]

I will be 43 the month after our little man makes an appearance so a "reallyoldmum"

I do have a 21 and nearly 19 year old and of course have had concerns about Downs etc - we had the NT Scan and my odds went from 1 in 49 to 1 in 1192 so that was a real comfort for us and we declined any further testing, with that said we do accept that someone has to be that 1 even with those odds!! Have had our 20 week scan and all looks good still and so far my pregnancy has been pretty much trouble free (just the normal aches and pains).

I have to say its personal choice but in my mind the benefits out weighed the risks!! I was just 21 when I had my daughter and really "rushed" her baby years, I couldn't wait for her to talk, walk etc - this time I hope I will be more laid back and really enjoy every moment without always waiting for the next big achievement...

Interestingly my Mum works for the local authority and deals with families who have just had disability diagnosed the majority of her families with children with Downs are in their 20's! We suspect that is because they do not have any testing at that age and just assume that all will be well!!

I think it is sad that your friend is not going with her first instinct at least if they try they would have no regrets.

Jane x

 

[Scout]

Thanks, that's convincing... so how does she go about getting this NT Scan? Speak to her GP? (sorry, new to that side of things!)

 

[Scout]

Just realised she would have to be pregnant to get the NT scan?

 

[Minxy]

They defintely aren't going ahead, but I fear the worst when she is unable to have a baby. I got a freaky email regarding this thread saying "somebody carry the baby for her, and again and again"... quite concerned now

Do you mean pm?

 

[Minxy]

One things for sure she can't really afford to pontificate too much. I personally wouldn't say she was too old but if she drags her feet and then decidess she wants one, it may be

 

[Julie84]

My mum had a baby (number 6 though) at 41 (she has me at 17) and he is perfectly healthy in everwhere. Her triple test came back with odds of a Downs baby equivalent to a 15 year old and he is a perfectly healthy 7 month old now.

I personally don't think I would want a baby that old though. I couldn't imagine my mum being an OAP and me still in my 20s and wouldn't want that for my child (although I do feel young at 24! )

If your friend wants a baby though, she needs to start making a decision to start trying sooner rather than later as time become very precious and ttc can take longer in itself.

 

[tuck]

Sorry Scout, I am not being rude but this is the 2nd thread that you have started about 'older' mums and our views about someone who is not a member of this forum
viewtopic.php?f=36&t=95044&p=1207666#p1207666

Maybe your friend could join the forum or an 'older mums' forum (which there are some on the net) and can talk to some of us that may have also had the same concens that she does.
ultimately it will be her and her husbands decision regardless of what we may think????