arrggghhh general rant just had enough

[Geminiblue]

OK so my sisters husband left her in Feb this year (for the 2nd time) and he's being going back since for "fringe benefits". He cant behave responsibly, she cant handle it this way....so since then its been a "oh do you think he still loves me oh where is he what is he doing". So I know and I have told her that he was seeing at least 2 people and having rudy time with them too!!! I told her to get tested... Shes STILL sleeping with him.

THEN on top ofthat shes not taking her medication, shes on anti-depressants and insuline dependant with all the medication that goes with that ...so shes losing her eyes sight because of the years she hasnt taken her insulin and medication, she doesnt take her anti-depressants so shes feeling crap....

My friend died overthe weekend we were close, I am gutted but are there any supportive words of advice NOPE I have been there every turn and I get nothing back. Why do I still think she is capable.

We are going away for yet another 40th birthday celebration for her (shes had 3 so far) and I said to her yesterday are you looking forward to your weekend away and she was like "no not really". We have all made an effort leaving our families (i havent left my child for 2 nights in a row before) am 31 weeks pregnant going to be designated driver and sitting watching them get wasted....

Her cat is being put down today and she said "why is life so s*&t"!!! I was like WTF you self whatsit!!!! my mates dead and your self impossed crisis is as it is ...self imposed. Selfish self obsessed self pitying god I feel really horrible about saying this but no wonder her husband has left her. She hit her shin the other night and vomiited in shock and had to call her husband to come round and my mum!!!! GET AN EFFING GRIP

not the cat bit though, thats not brought on about self obsession, I understand that shes going to be upset the cat was part of her family, but I feel it wouldnt all be as bad if she wasnt so self pitying and destructive

am i being mean? sorry ts a long one

 

[BevG]

nah, i have little pity for ppl who get themselves into situations like that, shes made her bed and its not too much to expect a lil sympathy at what must be a hard time for you. id tell her she was a selfish cow and expect an apology or just leave her to it. but im a cold harsh person sometimes and i understand how hard it can be to do that to family.

i dont think your being mean at all

 

[Geminiblue]

ah thanks Bev I was feeling a bit mean to be honest but this has been going on years and years and years and I think this pregnancy something has changed in me. I cant save her, I cant help her because she wont help herself. Like you, Im generally very black and white, it is or it isnt if that makes sense. You either want to get better or you dont and believe me Ive had my fair share over the years but faced with a problem, I face the problem...Im not perfect i make mistakes all the time but I try to put them right when I realise and am open to suggestion...I managed to organise her some counselling but because she was asked to pay some contribution she didnt like it.... I know shes not well depression is a good awful illness but for me, if you have a migraine you take a pill if you need to. Ifyou have a broken leg you get it put in plaster and you rest it to heal...

Thanks for your imput and I dont mean to be a miserable cow but feel things are coming on top sometimes and Im better letting it out and I feel better. Its lovely weather today here so thats lifted things and my little boy has been great so fingers x the mood will last the rest ofthe weekend xxxx

 

[stacey_lea86]

No, not mean at all. I think sometimes when you are there for somebody as much as you have been for your sister they can take advantage of this! I would sit her down & explain how you feel, perhaps she needs someone to tell her these things for her to realise what she is doing. It can't be fair on you having to listen when you have so much on your own plate to deal with.

I'm sorry you are both having such a hard time at the moment ( big hug ) xx

 

[Geminiblue]

oh thanks lovey, lovely message xxx

 

[FebMum2Be]

First off, she needs to start taking her diabetes more seriously.. She can not only lose her sight but lose limbs too and it can also be fatal if it isn't treated properly, you say she doesn't take her medication? Does she monitor her blood sugar level at all? C was vomiting last year after a night out and lost all of the sugar he had taken in and he was slipping into a coma only I physically poured high sugar drinks down his throat.. That is worrying to me I hope she starts taking better care of herself.

You don't sound mean at all, you sound like you are just fed up of giving and getting nothing in return, a relationship wether it's mummy and daughter, brother and sister, husband and wife, is give and take, and it sounds like she's constantly taking. I understand she is depressed but she isn't taking care of her body, especially not getting tested when her ex has been sleeping around. She should be so grateful that you have been there for her throughout her life helping her with each hurdle, not taking advantage of it and not being able to even give you a hug and some words of comfort when your friend passed away (which I'm sorry to hear about ) I hope she starts seeing sense soon regarding her health and the people around her, or she will only end up hurting herself and pushing away the people that are closest to her x

 

[Geminiblue]

she's not allowed to drive due to loss of sight, its been like this for years (shes been diabetic 35 yrs) with me tryin to help and not nag. Years spent asking her about her sugar levels, checking what dose of insulin she's on, has she eaten, is she drinking too much, why is she hypo-ing the amount she is but running high sugars...then there's the anti-depressants...I cant save her and she wont help herself. We've had proper serious chats about it and i've given up now. Ive tried to help organise counselling of all types and she has a little boy. If she cant look after herself for him at least then theres no hope.

Im not perfect, i used to dink too much so i stopped 7 yrs ago, i smoked too much so i stopped 4 yrs ago. I am always mindful that my dad and my sister are type 1 and my mum type 2 diabetic so i watch what I eat and exercise regularly coz I think its impotant for my childrens future and mine obviously. Was at my friends funeral yesterday and it hammered home yet again what a waste .... i give up now...well until next time as i cant turn my back on her... I need to do somthing differently though, if tried the cruel to be kind and saying nothing

Thanks for your support xxx

 

[FebMum2Be]

It's a really tough situation for you to be in I'm sorry you are having to deal with it all, and for yesterday xx

 

[Geminiblue]

...guess what!! My sister has had a go at me about her husband saying that I was talking about him to other people...I had two conversations with my sister in law and he doesnt like it that its gone around about his bad behaviour...shes had a go at me!!! I was like WTF!! So Im done shes welcome to him and her illnesses let her get on with it. I told her I was at the hospital today and have low blood pressure the baby is back to back and feeling generally unwell and she does that! There is no helping some people so I am done and dusted.... no more shes on her own now. I told her she was having a go at me about his behaviour which was nothing to do with me!! Bloody rich it is. Thanks for listening to my rant sorry its gone on a bit, I will let go now xxx