Anyone with husbands with health conditions?

[poppy86]

My husband is currently being seen by an endocrine specialist. The appointments are about 3-4 months apart and the wait between each one is agonising.

All these male hormone therapies are monitored over anything from 3 months to 6 months and I don't think I can take much more. Each time they haven't worked. Then we go back for another appointment 3/4 months later, try something else, then wait 3-6 months to see if that works. Time is ticking on. He's 41 this year. The next set of therapies he'll be on is a quarterly injection of testosterone to see if this helps. He has the lowest possible amount of Cortisol you can get away with.

I've got my own health problems but to know my husband is struggling too is a big pill to swallow. He is so strong, he doesn't let anything show. He turned white as a sheet when the doctor said he could have a brain tumour. I started having nightmares he would die and it was the LONGEST wait for results. That's the only time I've seen him actually react. Even when he was diagnosed diabetic it was "Oh... ok". (Thankfully the brain scan was perfectly clear)

We always used to make jokes about how if we couldn't have children we'd splash out on a vintage sports car... Now it's almost a reality it sickens me and I don't know what to do.

I think it's a bit embarrassing to talk to my family about it what with my sibling having a baby recently and it being such a private health condition. Who wold you talk to about it even?

We've got a family wedding coming up and we don't want to go. We will find it so hard ducking all those questions about when we're going to start a family. All I want to do is scream "It's none of your business!!"

Anyone else had that?

 

[xMillie]

My husband doesn't have any health conditions but I totally get all the waiting with appointments and there is usually nothing you can do about the wait, it's so frustrating. I think it was 3 years ago we first went to the doctors with trouble ttc. After all the blood tests, scans, etc we're now waiting for ivf round 2. Starting any day in the next week, which will mean more appointments and more waiting again.

I spoke to my mum about our issues, but it wasn't until after we had been trying for 2 years. Hubbys mum is also aware. I don't think either have been able to say anything that helped me, they just tried with their advice (put your feet it the air, cushion under your bum etc.). But I think it's better them knowing as they stopped hinting for grandchildren. So if there are family members you trust let them know.

Those questions at family events are the worst! We got married in Feb and my husbands aunt came up to me and said aww so you'll be starting your own little family now. I just said no not quite yet and found an excuse to walk off.

 

[poppy86]

So if there are family members you trust let them know. Those questions at family events are the worst! We got married in Feb and my husbands aunt came up to me and said aww so you'll be starting your own little family now. I just said no not quite yet and found an excuse to walk off.

These are the concerns!

I don't have a great relationship with my mum but a better relationship with my dad, so we might speak to him in private. I don't want him though to then go and speak to my mum about it and have her feelings hurt, ever increasing the wedge that divides us.

I don't get on with my husbands mum and I / we don't want her knowing anything about it. Apparently she doesn't ask, but I bet it doesn't stop her talking about it with his siblings. His dad is estranged and a complete loser so we won't be discussing this with him!

I've been delaying sending back the RSVP for this wedding but the bride has chased us up so I need to send it tonight. I just don't want to go. Is that a mean thing to say?

I suffer greatly from anxiety attacks so the thought of having to be in this social circumstance answering awkward questions makes my stomach turn. Especially as my sister just had her baby. Either it's going to be perfect timing to take the focus off us, or, it's bad timing and will make a lot of people ask us about when we're going to have a family!

I suppose I should speak to someone before the wedding as you say, to someone I can trust.

Since I wrote my initial post, I was given a prescription of Folic Acid to start taking - 3 months worth, however, the GP also put me on statins for 2 months. I need to finish that course and have another blood test before we can decide if it's the time to continue letting 'nature take its course'.

My life. It's not enviable!

I hope you have success with the IVF, especially as it's round 2 now. I couldn't imagine going through that but I suppose at least nowadays people are very accepting and understanding, sympathetic even, to people going through IVF as there has been a lot more publicity about the stresses and strains of what is endured.

Please let me know when you've got some news!