Anyone struggling with coming to terms with it still?

[Jayceesmumma]

It's just sinking in for me there's only a few weeks left being around my yr old niece and two week old nephew has really woken me up to the reality I'm gonna be starting from scratch all over again kinda getting me down and I feel so bad about it
My youngest has just started full time school (whole days start next week) and I've finally got my days back after over seven years.. But then in a mere 8weeks I'll be doing it all again.. And within those 8 weeks I need to go to my sisters pretty much every day to help her like I said I would before my bfp.. So I'm gonna be restricted in my only time off. Sounds so selfish doesn't it
Think I'll do a thread on this too see if anyone else is in the same boat as me..
I feel so bad for thinking like this I should be getting excited but I'm struggling!!

Please tell me im not the only one still!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Obviously I am

 

[littlemiss83]

No you defo are not the only one chick!!

I am seriously wondering what i've got myself into too. I had quite a bit of depression after my first was born, so much happened within a short period of time (family stuff, moving house, hassles with work ect) & I didn't enjoy the experience like I thought I would. I too feel like i'm only just getting my life back, since my wee 1 is doing alot for herself (she's still demanding, but its more manageable)

When I look back, the baby stage didn't seem all that long (where u cant get a min to yourself ect) but at the time it felt like it lasted for ages. When my wee 1 started school it hit me like a ton of bricks, I got sooooo down again and kept crying over her baby photos ect. & thinking where the hell did the time go.

Hopefully you'll get to see the happyness from your sister, the way she looks lovingly at her baby ect & you might start looking forward to your baby in a few weeks. And just think how close your sisters baby & yours will be. And also how happy your girls will be to have another brother or sister.

I have lots of days like this too so I know exactly where you're coming from!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks hunni tbh my sister complains alot and is all 'you've got this to come' which doesn't help!!
It's been a yr on Sunday since I met my OH and it will be our anniversary a couple of days before my due date.. So that's a hard one too, still getting to know each other etc.. Financial strains and exs family stirring trouble really doesn't help
I just hope this all turns out well I'm worried our relationship won't handle the pressure of a baby.. Please god prove me wrong

 

[littlemiss83]

Awww thats sweet about your wee anniversary, I think everyone worries about the strains of a baby, even after no 2 I still worry. But think of it this way, you have the benefit of having been thro it twice already so your a fountain of knowledge compared to others.

Is this ur sisters 1st? I hate hate hate when ppl say...this is what you have to look forward to - as if I dont bloody know what its like having a baby, remember it like it was yesterday ffs.

Is your sister a really happy new mummy or a stressed one?

 

[Sarah13]

Hey your not the only one! I was feeling right odd about it a few weeks back and did a similar thread about not feeling a bond yet. I'm really starting again as well with my daughter being 14. Sometimes feel like everyone is excited and can't wait and im the only one whos not and wants next few weeks to go slow and be late as I'm not ready at all mentally, keep wondering if I've done the right thing having another child so late and what an enormous life changing commitment a child is. I really doubt myself sometimes when my friend is stressed and struggling with her 2 little ones or when my daughter is a stroppy hormonal teen, I think why oh why have I chosen to do this again! Then the guilt sets in for even thinking these things!

 

[littlemiss83]

That guilty feeling is horrible isn't it.

 

[Sarah13]

It's is esp as this baby was planned about 2 years ago now and took a while to appear, my hubby so happy and excited about it as well makes me feel even more guilty! I'm sure all will be fine once baby is here, I do love newborn babies!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

My sister has always been a stress head lol
This is her second and her first is 14months.. She said that a big part of her agreeing to a second so soon was coz I was free to help her out which I was ok with til my bfp lol I've told her I'll do as much as I can but I can't help her every day coz it won't really help her you know??

Sarah thank u for sharing Hun it's hard isn't it feel so guilty all the time and I should just be happy and excited!! Especially as I have pcos and was told this was probably my last chance x

 

[positivity :)]

Ur not selfish Hun, it's a big commitment and everyone will deal with it differently as everyones lifes are different. You will be fine xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks ladies I'm glad I'm not the only one I have down days and up days and today was a big down day for me

 

[suzzi]

i had to laugh, im starting all over again after 15 years and am cacking myself!!!!

what if i cant cope and have forgotten how to do stuff!! i dont feel very maternal yet either

 

[rachyryan]

I just wanted to add that I too am having days like this when i worry what I am letting myself in for. I have a 9 year gap between my youngest and this baby. It was totally unplanned. I live 300 miles from my family and dont really have any real friends or support down here. I am trying to look on the positive side as much as possible that having a new baby is a good way of getting out and about and meeting new people, but I do worry how our lives are going to be so different when this one comes along.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I don't feel maternal either.. Usually women get broody holding a newborn but when I hold my nephew I feel the rush of love for him but not broody at all!! I know once baby is here and I'm holding him/her I'll feel the love I felt for my girls when i first held them (wasn't real for me thru either pregnancies either til after birth)
I've only got a 4and a half yr age gap between my youngest and this one (unplanned too) and I'm a tad worried I'll forget important things.. Even though I've had my niece for just over a year to remind me and my newborn nephew.. I'm sure it will all come flooding back to us!! They've changed things so much since I had my two like the age they start solid food etc, I'm worried I'll do what I done with the girls when I shouldn't now.. But then they've been fine so it couldn't have been too bad!!
I couldn't imagine a bigger age gap it must be very daunting for you! But I'm sure you'll be fine when the time comes
A new baby is a great way to meet new people especially when you are so far from home I'm half hour away from my family which isn't too bad.. My sister lives round the corner from me so we can help each other as much as three babies will allow lol!! It's been great going thru pregnancy with my sister but now she's had hers it's sinking in how restricted life is especially in the first couple of weeks..
Keep thinking about the school run! The kids go to bed at 6 and struggle to get up in the morning for school we always make it on time but with no time to spare so I wonder where I'm gonna find the time to sort out a newborn!! Especially if it decides to poo or puke on itself just as we are about to leave!
I hope this baby can bring oh and I closer together as we've had a few probes recently with stresses at home and work.. It was a year last sunday when we first met and a yr a couple of days before I'm due since we got together.. I'll defo have the best anniversary present for him anyway top that!!

Been having a stress filled morning today so that hasn't helped matters but I'm seeing the mw in half hour so maybe that will cheer me up hearing my baby is doing well

Must remember to ask everything I want to ask I always forget something

 

[littlemiss83]

How did you get on at the MW?

I'm also struggling to think how i'll manage the school run - I just made a thread on it in Tri 3. I know i'll get help maybe the week before birth & 1/2 weeks after (well I hope I do) but I know for all the time after that its probs just gonna be me & I dont drive.

The whole school malarkey is something you dont really think about untill they need to start then there's a whole new set of probs. My days are wasted when i'm off work & wee 1 at school, by the time I get home I only get a couple of hours then back out again so cant arrange anything for the day. Its a nightmare.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Very well thanks I've posted a thread on it
We don't think about school etc when it comes to babies! They aren't babies for long!