Anyone else not got an unsupportive mother.

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by gypsy, Nov 14, 2007.

  1. gypsy

    gypsy Well-Known Member

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    Sorry if this is in the wrong place, wasn't sure where to put it.

    I have a very volatile (if this is the right word) with my mother. She has never supported me in anything and has never praised me or given me any encouragement. All she ever does is put me down and tellme I am useless.
    I already have 3 children. An 11 year old and 3 year old twins and am now 9 weeks pregnant.
    My DH told my mother last night that I was expecting and She said 'Oh no, what have you done to her? How the hell is she going to cope? etc etc etc'

    Apparently Neil said ' Well, we're happy about it and that's all that matters.'

    i have a feeling she will come down today and let her feelings known to me........and I know I'll let rip!!!!

    What i don't get is when I got pregnanat last year (miscarriage) it was fine so why is it so different now.

    sorry to rant but I just feel so hacked off with her

    Shell
     
  2. suzan

    suzan Well-Known Member

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    OMG I am so sorry hunny. I dont understand how can a mother be like that?

    My mom is the opposite, she was so happy, anyway, this is my second time (first was a miscarriage)

    She always calls me and asks about me. Come on, she is our mother no?
    I am so sorry u r goin thru that. Dont let her make u feel down dont forget u are having someone in you now and it can make ur baby sad too.

    I hope she becomes better.

    GOod luck
     
  3. Becs

    Becs Well-Known Member

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    What was different was probably the mood she was in at the precice moment she heard your news. My mum can be a bit like this at times. apparently I am not going to be able to handle child birth :roll: Us career girls should stick to the office and not presume to become maternal or god forbid, give up work and try to be a Mum.

    Sorry she doesn't support you, it's crap isn't it. It's not like you can just walk away, she's your Mum and it would be so nice to get her praise. I reckon let rip. She needs to hear it.

    Good luck (blame it on the hormones)

    B xx
     
  4. floppit

    floppit Well-Known Member

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    My Mum is a bit of an odd one, her 'thang' is mixing trouble between folk, generally telling lies (she's nearly 70 and has been saying she's about to drop dead since she was 40!!) and just generally being as needy as hell!

    I got to a point where it's ok and I even have a not bad relationship with her. I figured that she's pretty messed up rather than evil, that a few ground rules help (told her she messes with my marriage and I'll cut ALL contact - and I meant it!) but most of all what helped is not seeing her more than I can deal with happily. I speak to her maybe once a fortnight and see her about once every two or three months (she lives 20 mins away).

    My Mum's childhood was pants, one top of that she made choices to grow up bitter and thinking she had no control over her decisions - I think she hates herself, is often lonely and mostly very unhappy.

    I make a real effort not to walk through life her way because I don't like how she ended up. I try to treat her with kindness and find genuine things to like and surprisingly they are there, more so now I notice.

    She's chuffed to bits about the baby - shame the kid will never be left with her, some things she's lost for good but she will see her, with me around.

    BTW - Up to about the age of 30 all I did was argue with, be angry at and often hate my Mum, it took me a long while to realise I was begining to get a little like her in that way, even longer to work out how to change course!
     
  5. lulu

    lulu Well-Known Member

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    Hi, my mum is exactly the same! Fortunately she lives over 300 miles away from me! last time I told her I was pregnant for Jack, she looked at my partner and said 'is it definitely your baby' and then said to me 'have you just done this so you don't have to go to work' (I do work by the way!)
    She was up for a few days last week and the week was hell, I was stressed, my partner and I had rows and I cried a few times as she is so selfish and self obsessed. This time round her reaction was 'oh, right, ok, well congratulations, oh no not more grand children, it would be nice if it was your sister though!' and she didn't say a thing to my partner, not even congratulations.

    I say let rip and make her realise how nasty and unsupportive she is being. I wish I had done this.
    And at the end of the day you have nothing to loose! - luckily I have my partners mum who is great!

    As they say - you cant pick your family! I have got to the stage where I think, sod her, it does not matter what she thinks anymore and I have my own little family now! If your happy sod every one else!!!
    :hug:
     
  6. tots hope

    tots hope Well-Known Member

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    Sorry she isn't supportive - but it sounds like you have a supportive OH - Congratulations on your BFP and don't worry about your mother, she will come round when she is ready but in the mean time just concentrate on your pregnancy and your LO's x
     
  7. Babylicious

    Babylicious Well-Known Member

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    Ello trouble, when did you arrive :D
     

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