Anyone else nervous about telling?

[Cixes]

I am really scared about telling people i am pregnant.
I think its because i was due to start uni next month, and i have always felt that i have let my parents down (i got pregnant the first time at 17) and now i have to tell them all that i can't go to uni this year!

I know it sounds silly cause i am a married woman who is nearly 28!!

I have just always had this problem, i felt that by going to uni i had finally made my parents proud, and i think they will think i am mad having a 4th child!

Also my sister in law is desperate for a baby and nothing has happened yet, i feel really guilty telling her i am pregnant when i didn't really want another baby at this time.

 

[xjdx]

im with you on this one chick, i had my first baby at 17, he is 2 in september, dont wanna tell anyone lol! Congratulations i see you have got boys you want to see some pink clothes for a change x x

 

[MummyJess]

Ha, I've done the same as you. My first baby at 18 then an accidental 4th baby! Except I've got 3 girls and you've got boys!

I always felt I'd let my parents down by falling pregnant with my oldest and was nervous about telling them when I had my second, even though she was planned. When we had our 3rd, everyone knew we were trying anyway so that was fine.

With this pregnancy, it was completely out of the blue so we had to get over the shock first then told people quite early as the kids knew and we couldn't have kept it a secret.

My parents seemed very happy about it, but OH parents were worried about how we will cope, especially with the small age gap between 3rd and 4th. I have been nervous about telling people this time because so many people have said we are nuts, but I just say that it's happened now and we will be fine. We are now very excited, especially now that we have had the first scan and started planning.

I am sure some people will be thoughtless with their comments because they seem to think it's allowed but just take no notice if you can. Most people will be having a shock, same as you and once they get used to the idea they will be happy for you. Have you spoken to uni? It might be easier to tell your mum if you have a plan in place when you tell her. Like deferring a year or 2?

The situation with your sister in law is tricky so can't really offer much advice there. It would def be best to tell her privately so she can have a little cry if she needs. It may be that she just can't be around you for a while but you will just have to allow her to come to terms with it herself.

Wish you lots of luck and congratulations on your pregnancy - I'm excited to find someone in a similar situation to me!

 

[Mummy2B2009]

Hi hun

nothing stopping you from going to university, im going to uni in september too, im due april so thats nearly leaving time for exam revision

 

[Cixes]

I am so glad i am not the only one who feels like this!!!
My closest friend says i shouldn't worry about what people think and it really helps to have people behind me.

I have phoned uni and deferred for the year so i start next sept, i can't go this year because its a nursing degree and you don't get the same holidays as other students, only 2 week in the summer one at each end.
They were lovely and wished me the best of luck and told me not to worry that my place was now safe and unconditional.

I am still taking it all in and preparing myself to tell my family, the most important thing is my children and they are really happy.

 

[MummyJess]

Wonderful news about uni and I am so glad that your kids are happy. Now forget everyone else and get on with being happy with your family Once the baby gets here, nobody will care about the fact he/she wasn't planned.

 

[Cixes]

OMG!!!

I decided to tell my parents, went over there about 6pm and told my mum first.....it was awful!!
She was really pissed off with me saying some really stupid and hurtful things. She said that i wasn't fit enough to have a baby - to which i replied that i am FAT (size18) not ILL!!! Then i hadn't thought about my children, i am making life bad for them, i am putting too much stress on her - i replied with i me and dh are bring this child up not her! erm what else, oh i could never go to uni with a 4th child, i will move my children to a *%#$ council estate to fit in another child, I explained how at 28 and married i was more nervous of telling her than when i was 17 and single - to which she said well thats something telling you how wrong this is! Then the straw that broke the camels back was that i couldn't even look after the kids i had!!!!

At that point stood up and told her i would prove her wrong and a stormed out!

My dad was fantastic, though and totally understood, i really sobbed on his shoulder and it got him a bit emotional as i never turn to my daddy! He said that it wasn't ideal but what was done was done, he later sent me a text saying that my mum was really stressed at the moment but to do the best for myself and not anybody else.
My teenage brother who is 16 was really good too he heard it all and disappeared into the garden, he text me to say that he loved me and was there if i needed him.

I think you can now understand why i was dreading telling my family. I am so upset that she had to be like this, and although i understand she is worried about her life, i think she was wrong to say those things to me. I think i need a bit of time to cool off and i know i will never see an apology! It just makes me more determined to get through this, move house and go uni with 4 children!!!

 

[MummyJess]

OMG, so sorry you had to go through all that. Don't wanna slag your mum off but that's a really selfish reaction. How would she feel if you turned around and said ok, you're right I'll get rid of it. She's obviously just reacting without thinking and I hope it won't affect your relationship too much.

Does she look after your kids lots? Maybe she is nervous about whether she can handle babysitting all of them. Not that it excuses her reaction. Like you said, you are a grown married woman who has managed to get a place at uni. And you have already spoken to them so it's not like you're burying your head in the sand about it. Give her time to cool off and she will soon come round to the idea, especially once your LO is here. And if she doesn't then it's only her that will lose.

So happy about your Dad and little bro, that really made me smile when you said abut lil bro texting, what a sweetie! Handy babysitter there as well!

Well done for telling, I can see now why you were so nervous! At least your sister in law should be a doddle after that!

 

[Cixes]

I can't see me and my mum talking for a few weeks until we both calm down especially her! No she rarely babysits for me she had done it a handful of times over the past year!

She will get over it eventually but i just feel very let down by her and that may take some time to heal.

My mother in law (who has been fantastic!) told my sister in law and she was over the moon for us! She came to see me last night and was saying that she is hoping that in 2 weeks she will know if she is pregnant too, we both think it would be fun having a baby and helping each other through it at the same time!

 

[Cixes]

I thought i would just add that i have just told my grandma and she was really happy for us she said its gods will that we have this baby! she then phoned me back and said my granddad was pleased for me she said he said "well it better than hearing someone has died!" which i thought was quite funny!

 

[Mummy Rich]

I cannot believe your mums reaction but I'm sure she will calm down with time

Things that are said in the heat of the moment are not always a true reflection. You've done so well to raise 3 children and I'm sure you're new addition will just make your family grow stronger!!!

I am nervous about telling my mother-in-law more than anyone... dunno when is the right time?!!?!?

 

[jools221181]

an't believe your mum's reaction I hope she calms down and apologises soon

 

[Cixes]

I can't see me and my mum talking for a few weeks until we both calm down especially her! No she rarely babysits for me she had done it a handful of times over the past year!

She will get over it eventually but i just feel very let down by her and that may take some time to heal.

My mother in law (who has been fantastic!) told my sister in law and she was over the moon for us! She came to see me last night and was saying that she is hoping that in 2 weeks she will know if she is pregnant too, we both think it would be fun having a baby and helping each other through it at the same time!

 

[Cixes]

I thought i would just add that i have just told my grandma and she was really happy for us she said its gods will that we have this baby! she then phoned me back and said my granddad was pleased for me she said he said "well it better than hearing someone has died!" which i thought was quite funny!

 

[Mummy Rich]

I cannot believe your mums reaction but I'm sure she will calm down with time

Things that are said in the heat of the moment are not always a true reflection. You've done so well to raise 3 children and I'm sure you're new addition will just make your family grow stronger!!!

I am nervous about telling my mother-in-law more than anyone... dunno when is the right time?!!?!?

 

[jools221181]

an't believe your mum's reaction I hope she calms down and apologises soon