Anyone else had this trouble......

[Kezzamunster]

Hey girlies

Just wanted to know if any of you had trouble with the OH & your sex life when TTC?

It's just the past couple of weeks he's been having trouble keeping it up & loses it half way through & then has no interest in wanting to get it back & try again & he has kinda lost interest as well. I practically jump on him most nights & just not interested

Even when we get going it doesn't seem that he's really into it either

I know it could be anything, he's been working late a lot so could be stressed through that or just under the weather etc, really don't know

Any thoughts or advice would be great

xxx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Hi Kezza

A few weeks ago when my OH and me were having a heart to heart, he mentioned something that made me think, he said this time when we are having sexy time he doesnt want it to be just babymaking. Is there a possibility your OH may be feeling the same? TTC can put alot of stress on your sex life. Hope things gets better x x


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[Kezzamunster]

Hey M2A

Thanks for replying hun

I sat & made a list of everything it could be that's affecting him & we talked & all he says is "I don't know what's wrong"

My best friend is worried that he may just be going along with things cos of how much I want to become a mother & wife. Its cos of me giving him a kick up the bum he bought the flat, cos of me we have booked the wedding & now cos of me we are TTC......., I've done all the research on property & bought all the OPKs & HPTs & pregnancy books & done the research for the wedding & paid out money by myself

These are never things he has bought up himself in the 12 years we have been together, it's always me & now starting to think that maybe she's right

He's always busy with work or helping people out but I'm the one that's 2nd best through all of this, I know he is career minded but work isn't everything

It's great he tells me what I want to hear but only if it's truly meant, no one wants to purposely hurt anyone but I'd rather that then 2 years down the line get blamed for ruining his career & pushing him into things he doesn't want

I dunno, maybe just having one of those days

Thanks for listening though

xxx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Sounds like you are having a bad day fx its hormones starting

I know exactly where you are coming from and ive been there (apart from the wedding bit, got to wait till 2014 for that ) We were living in a flat when i broke the news that i wanted a family, after a year of being together! We argued about it, at one point we nearly split up but i have my little man now My OH had a great career ahead of him and he gave it all up for me, i still get blamed in arguements but most of the time he says it was the best thing he did.
I did the same when i wanted to buy our house, 4 months later we signed the papers and moved and again in arguements i pushed him into it but most of the time hes so happy to be living where we live in the house we have.
So i feel like i have done all the pushing too but i suppose what im trying to say is its all worth it in the end keep your chin up hunny, it will all work out x x

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[Kezzamunster]

Awwww thanks for sharing hun, means a lot & so glad things all working out for you

I think your defo right though, Omg hope he prepared for me & pregnancy if I'm like this already

We've had a tough 12 years but are really strong cos of it & wouldn't change a thing

maybe it's just men in general that are like it, always child like at heart eh?! Esp as you've been in same situation

You've given me hope & will keep your positivity close to me when I'm having a down day

xxx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Think it is just men pppffttt.
for us pushy ladies, otherwise nothing would ever get done!
But we cant live without them, after all who would help give us our babies hehe

Glad ive been able to share my experiances to help you, massive x x




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[Kezzamunster]

Hear hear
xxx

 

[Nurse 26]

Hey kezza,

M2A is def right about The whole TTC putting pressure on the sex life, maybe he is just a bit nervous about becoming a dad? or as M2A says thinking that sex is just about baby making and not about having fun and just doing it because you want to.

As for the house and wedding and pushing him into things, my hubby is the same, he needs a kick up the bum to get anything done and make big decisions like that. I was the one who organised all our wedding and really decided it was time to start a family, i think some men are a bit scared of change. But all i can say is that when i had the MMC i really think mu hubby changed, i can see a difference now, its like he really realised how much he wanted to have a family, now its him thats making all the effort and its great.

The only way you will know is to have a good chat with him.

Hope it goes well for you hun.

xx

 

[Kezzamunster]

Thanks for sharing Nurse26

I'm going to have a chat with him tonight, see if I can break through that "man barrier"

I know things will work out & you girls defo inspire me & give me hope

xxx

 

[Kezzamunster]

It's great that your hubby is being so good but shame about the circumstances though

xxxx

 

[Nurse 26]

Ye it is a shame, but i guess everything happens for a reason eh!

'man barrier' so true!!

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Have you got a sledge hammer Kezza, man barriers are quite tough to break down
On a serious note, goodluck hunny, some times talking openly about think can undercover something that is really silly and doesnt really matter at all, thats mens minds for you! x x


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[Kezzamunster]

Your all troopers girls

Hehe with the amount of tools the OH has I'm sure there will be one somewhere

I'll keep you posted girls, he's not the greatest in communicating (like all men) but I will persevere!!!

xxx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Hope things went well last night Kezza and you got the answers you wanted x x


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[Kezzamunster]

Hey M2A

Awwwww your a sweetie, thank you so much for asking xxxxx

Well we got home & I practically jumped on him but like the other night wanted to have dinner first, then he watched his 2 programmes from 8-10 & like most men, he's not very good at talking whilst watching tv!!!

Eventually got to talk & he says it's just work that's the problem so am glad it's not anything, well I'm hoping so anyway

We tried to BD but didn't happen, he just couldn't keep it & no chance tonight or tomorrow as he's out so I really don't know if we've caught my lil egg or not now but time will tell I suppose

Christmas is coming up so hoping things can improve as he can relax & take it easy

How's you today Hun?

xxxx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Glad its just work hunny, i dont know what your OH does but i know my job is very stressful towards christmas, so maybe hes just got alot on.

Fx you did catch your little eggy and things are starting to happen

Im still feeling rough but im trying not to take anything just incase. The horrible thing is little mans full up with it too, so hes been up through the night x x


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[Kezzamunster]

I finish work next Wednesday & he's off from Christmas eve so least we can spend some time together & chill

Well we BD on CD12/14/16 & going from the pain OV on CD17 so defo fx

Oh no that's not good, bless him, it's bad enough when us grown ups get poorly but lil ones, you just wanna make it a better for them, hope he feels better soon

Hope you do to, you never know it could be the best cold you've ever had hun

xxx

 

[midnight]

ive read that men can feel used sometime like you just want them for there spermies do you still pounce on him when your not ov?? if so then it prob isnt this and could just be stressed with work ect
also have you been trying long if so he may feel pressure and not manly enough just like us women feel like a failure if we go off the what a so called normal woman should be thats if there is such thing as a normal woman lol hope you get your bfp soon

 

[Kezzamunster]

Thanks midnight xx

Defo is work, he majorly stressed & gets put on quite a bit so he's looking forward to mega relaxation over Christmas

xxx