Anxiety when baby cries in public

[Rubys mummy]

Just started getting out and about after feeling poorly with infection post c section...

Enjoying spending time with my sister and her little one, we walk every day with prams and normally stop somewhere for coffee or visit friends...only problem is Ruby will not settle during the day, and wont sleep so she cries when we stop walking...I find myself getting very stressed and upset, and anxious...I worry what people think, and I am starting to get pains in my chest as I am so anxious. I go bright red, and end up apologising to whoever we are with/visiting
As soon as she is back in pram and walking, she stops....I wallk for hours if I can just so she is settled.

She sleeps fro 6pm so I cant really complain as we are getting sleep at night but I find the days so hard as its a constant battle to keep her settled and happy. She will only nap for 20 mins at a time unless I am holding her..and this isnt always possible, or unless I am walking with her and again, this isnt always possible!!!

I am starting to dread the days

 

[Jaidy]

Have you tried a sling Zoe for when your around the house? They are meant to be really good for babies that constantly want your attention!!

I used to get well self conscious when Zac cried in public but to be honest he hasnt actually done it much and when he does now I just think sod it It might seem embarassing but people probably dont give two hoots in all honesty!

Does it help if you rock the pram when you stop? I do this if Zac stirs when I stop if he isnt asleep and it works a treat.

 

[hev&madi]

i used to be so worried about taking madi out incase she cried

do you find if you have someone with you its alot better?

hope ur ok zoe im sure things will get better xxxx

 

[Daggers]

I would not stress to much about it, at the end of the day Ruby is still sooo young and if she is sleeping through the night (OMG!!!!) then I guess you can't expect her to be to model child (well just yet ), she will settle, if anything as already mentioned try a sling this may help.
However please don't let it stress you out and forget what everyone else may think! It's not important, your a good mummy to Ruby and that's all that matters so if she needs to cry a bit so be it at least it's not harming her .

 

[Rubys mummy]

I always go out with my sis & niece or mum and dad, they are really good and will take Ruby off me when I start getting flustered...they tell me not to get stressed but its so hard. I think that I am worried people will think I am doing something wrong as she is crying and I cant settle her..but I defo think Ruby senses I am stressed and that in turn makes her more anxious, its a viscious circle

Jades, I am looking for a mei tei now for the house, she loves to be cuddled on me during the day. We have a baby carrier from Mothercare which we use for walks on the beach with the doggie, she loves being cuddled to daddy when we walk but tried it in the house and she hated it, I think the mei teis will be better, they are softer and she can get closer to me in one of them...worth a try.

Sorry for moaning, I am so lucky with her really, she is an angel, especially at night..I need to relax more and not worry about what other people might think.

 

[Redshoes]

I don't have any experience zoe though from an alternative viewpoint, thought I'd suggest maybe if you and Ruby just went out by yourself, to the local shop or something, somewhere familiar with not too many peoople around, and then if Ruby does stir, and cry, see how you feel then?
I do believe you and Ruby will work it out together and maybe through little walks, just the two of you, you will find your confidence grows, and Ruby feels more settled too, because you are

Very best wishes, you are a great Mum, you care so much, I wish you both well.

 

[Miracle babe]

Aww hun, Rowan use to be exactly the same and still rarely sleeps in the day but is fab at night. He also goes down at 6pm. I use to find it really stressful but I found out he had reflux and colic which is why he wanted to keep moving as he found it comforting. I ended up buying a baby swing from Argos and found it a god send. Hope she starts to settle for you soon xxxxxx

 

[Freya]

I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same after daughter born and used to get really embarassed which in turn drew more attention to me if you know what I mean.

However if you think about it yourself when you hear a baby crying what do you think 'Gosh she must be a really bad mum', or 'its a baby crying'.

Rationally you know that babies cry that is what they do regardless of good/bad mum thing. I can only say that it does get better with time I think the sling idea and redshoes idea is worth ago.

Good luck (BTW this won't last for a long time).

 

[EllieG]

My daughter used to do this to me, and do you know what? I have come to the conclusion that your own babies cry is the loudest most high pitched cry that any baby could possibly have. It makes you feel as though you are the worst mum because you can't make your baby content, however, to everyone else, she is just a cute baby... crying! Sounds like you could do with some time to yourself even if it's half an hour, or when she is crying lots give her to your friend or sister, walk away for 5 minuites, they pick up on your anxiety so if you go back to her feeling calmer she may settle easier.

 

[Minxy]

I try my hardest not to let it bother me as I figure the only people who tut are those that haven't had kids and everyone else understands!

 

[Jen79]

I know exactley how you feel, my little girl is 3 months old now and she can raise the roof when she wants to! A couple of weeks ago she was literally screaming in tesco for no reason other than she was tired and fighting sleep. Anyhow, some old cow told me that I should "shut her up" and when I asked her how I was supposed to tell a 9 week old baby to quieten down she then said "well you shouldnt have her out, some people are trying to do their shopping" I was bloody furious and dont know how I kept my temper. It is like a vicious circle I think, when baby starts kicking off you get all anxious and then apparently they pick up on it so it makes them worse. Wish I had some advice but I dont or I would use it myself! Like I said though I am in the same boat, I just tell myself that she will grow out of it, its definately people staring and making you feel like a bad mother that gets to me more than the actual fact that she is crying, cos I know that usually she is crying just cos she is not impressed by whatever we are doing at the time rather than anything actually being 'wrong'. Little madams eh? Ha ha.

 

[jennywren]

IAnyhow, some old cow told me that I should "shut her up" and when I asked her how I was supposed to tell a 9 week old baby to quieten down she then said "well you shouldnt have her out, some people are trying to do their shopping"

I would have replied, ''well clearly no one taught you how to shut up, so why don't you take your own advice you stupid old witch'' either that or I would have had to open a serious can of whoop ass on her and served her a huge dose of shut the F up

Cheeky mare!

 

[Rubys mummy]

Thanks girls, I dont know what I would do without you all

Went to Asda before, and she started screaming, so I took her out of her seat and cuddled her, she soon settled and I felt so much better, and carried out my shopping with confidence Normally, I would of rushed off home, or got all flustered so I feel like I have turned a corner a bit

xxx

 

[Redshoes]

That's great news Zoe, well done, be proud

 

[babyjay1]

It's quite embarassing isn't it! My LO always does it when i'm waiting to be served in a shop, as soon as i get outside he stops (cheeky monkey!).

Babies like the motion of being in a pram or car though thats probably why. I also think he gets bored v. easily looking in the same spot for too long (v.nosey!) Might be the same with your LO.

 

[Gem & Leland]

have u tried that spray for yaself , ment to take it when u feel stressed or paniced? is it calm or somethign? i know boots do it . may help u stay calm so u dont pass panic onto ruby?