Another frustrated mummy.... (very long ranty post)

[ShadowWolf]

I wrote about this in another thread but thought i'd start my own and see if anyone had any tips.

During the day my lilly is more or less a good little girl. I feed her, change her, play with her and when she is tired, i put her in her cot in her room to sleep. Sometimes she goes straight down, sometimes I have to let her cry for up to 20 minutes but she gets there. When it hits about 5/6 o'clock, she turns into the baby from hell. I'll feed her, change her, play with her and I used to bathe her untill i realised that it did squat, and then i'd try to put her to bed. That's her cue to start the tears.

In the evenings and at night she sleeps in her basket in our room, she used to be swaddled but she is far to wriggly and gets out of that one in a trice. She hates sleeping on her back as she constantly startles herself so we put her on her front which, when asleep, she loves.

What I want to know is what in the hell can I try to get her to settle in the evenings? She spends anywhere between 4-9 hours crying solid and by then she is so overtired that she doesn't know what to do with herself and eventually we both just collapse into a heap of exaustion and she will go to sleep at around 1am.

Because I am breastfeeding, I end up doing this routine generally every night whilst my OH sleeps. If we were bottlefeeding i'm sure he would do his share but as I can't sleep when she is screaming and he can't help settle for more than 2 hours before she wants feeding again, there is no point in us both being awake. I would express if i could but she drains me dry at each feed and doesnt leave my body enough time to make any spare before she is drinking it all again! I have managed to get 7 oz since she was born and im keeping that so my OH can take her out for the day so I can have one glorious day free to myself. He does take her when he has the energy to or he has the next day off and generally she quiets for him whist he's carrying her around the room but as soon as he stops to sit down or even stand still or puts her down, she's off again.

I am exausted and have been doing days that start at 6am and finish at 1am if im lucky with feeds every 2 hours during the day and night. The only thing left that I can think of is let her sleep in her cot as she seems to prefer it. The only problem with that is because she is a tummy sleeper I am petrified of cot death and don't know if I should risk it..... Please oh please help me.

Things we have tried:
-Swaddling (she busts out of it)
-Bath before bed (doesn't seem to relax her, she does enjoy it though )
-Story time (not interested really)
-Putting her down early (just starts crying at about 6pm and wont stop)
-Putting her down late (gets overtired)
-Raising the head of her mattress
-Crying herself to sleep at night (pisses the neighbours off.... especially as one leaves for work at 4am and we like them )

xxxx

(I'm sorry for the long post... kinda used it to vent a little as well....)

 

[ERIN84]

I swear that could of been me writing that when Emily was about 4 weeks old till about 9 weeks! How old is lilly?

It has to be totally upto you but I would be tempted to put her in her cot, depending on how old she is? (if you have a ticker I can't see it because I'm on my iPhone).

When emily was going through the unsettled evenings, we eventually started a strict bedtime routine and no word of a lie, she was settled within a week.

I know how you feel bring exhausted, it's so so hard **hugs**

X

 

[ShadowWolf]

Lilly is just over 2 months old. I'm sure it's not a growth spurt as she's not feeding any more often than normal. I will try to do a routine again but it's really hard to stick with as sometimes she's just so awake and giggly at that time that you know if you put her down she'll just get cranky and cry until she has cuddles again.

xxx

 

[ERIN84]

It's really hard, I know. Do you get out quite a bit during the day? That used to help Emily settle too. X

 

[frankie707]

George was horrible in the evenings for a while until I realised that he was trying to cluster feed and once I stopped fighting him and just let him feed he's seemed much better. I do sometimes just have to sit here switching sides but eventually he falls off and goes to sleep.

 

[ShadowWolf]

Hmm... may try that. I'm just worried that she'll get into the habit of feeding for comfort.... it's so hard to know what is best without second guessing yourself!

xx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

My nephew was like that when he was a couple of months old. It would get to 7pm and he would scream for the rest of the night.
It might not be the same thing but my brother and sil took my nephew to see some professional and they found out he had colic. He then proded my nephew in afew places in his stomach, he passed alot of wind and since then my nephew hasn't cried in the evening and settles straight away.

 

[ShadowWolf]

Hmm, it may be that. She really likes it when my OH does that hold where she lies on his arm... she doesn't do the balling her fists and scrunching herself up though... mind you every baby is different. I have some colic medicine, i'll try it tonight and see if it helps....

She's been asleep for about 2 1/2-3 hours at the moment

xxx

 

[SmallPurpleCat]

Wow - Lily feeds alot! You are doing well to have kept up with it for as long as you have.

Would you consider introducing a bottle of formula maybe to help her settle better in the evenings? I'm considering this as Isla doesn't ever really settle during the day and doesn't seem completely satisfied.

Although, if it is colic, that's not going to help... What colic medicine have you got?

 

[ShadowWolf]

We did try formula but it made her throw up everything in her little tummy She has real trouble taking a bottle, she just doesnt understand it! The medicine we have is detinox or something, horrid minty smelling stuff, must be vile!

As for her feeding a lot, I know. I'm not sure how i'm doing it, luckily she is a really good feeder. She has no trouble latching on apart from the fact that when shes hungry she'll suck any bit of flesh that she can get her mouth onto, little vampire! But im not sure i'll be able to breastfeed the next one.... although im a sucker for punishment and i hate formula with a passion so i probably will....

xxx

 

[Zazu]

Zach threw up his first bottle of formula, but was fine with his second. Does she have a dummy? Might help? Have you tried infacol or gripe water. We found colief helped as well. Hope u find something to help. X

 

[Yodabo]

Drake was like this every evening from 3 to 8 weeks..I was exhausted! It turned out to be colic! Dentinox is pretty good. Oh and introducing a dummy was a lifesaver! Xx

 

[kiki]

My little one was like this untill I started giving infacol to him. He dosen't actually have colic but think he still gets some trapped wind that was making him grumpy. Although it took about 2 days before it started showing the full benefit. Hope it works for you too!!

 

[Sam's Mum]

George was horrible in the evenings for a while until I realised that he was trying to cluster feed and once I stopped fighting him and just let him feed he's seemed much better. I do sometimes just have to sit here switching sides but eventually he falls off and goes to sleep.

I was just thinking that if I'd just tried to put my 2 down in the evenings they'd probably have been the same. They both used to cluster feed allll evening, and woudl either eventually fall asleep feeding or seem quite sleepy and satisfied, and they'd then sleep ok. I did feel like I permanently had a baby attached to me all evening for a while though - and while I didn't ever intend to feed them to sleep I did actually end up doing it half the time - they'll both quite happily be put to bed and get themselves off to sleep with no tears at all now though, so I don't think it's done any harm.

After the first couple of months it didn't go on all evening any more either - usually a feed before bath time, one or two feeds after bath and then off to sleep sometime between 8 and 9 x

 

[rbryan0205]

amelia had been in her own room since being 2 weeks old because she wouldnt settke with us but would in the day and it worked. i see it like this she is further away from you in the day than at night and she had gripe water because she gets really bad tummy ache xx

 

[ShadowWolf]

Thanks for all the advice girls, had a really good evening yesterday, went down perfectly, hope it sticks. As for the suggestions of a dummy, I have tried so many times but she just doesn't understand how it works and it just gets spat out, lol. I hate them anyway

And, one bit of really good news that i'm very proud of.... as I type this post Lilly is currently...... asleep on her back! I am so impressed, she hasn't done that since we stopped being able to swaddle her. I am going to try really hard to keep her sleeping like that as it will make me feel better It did take about 30 minutes of crying before she was exsausted enough to fall asleep like it though, lol! And her musical cot toy, a life saver!

xxx

 

[kay126]

between weeks 7 and 9 my baby boy used to scream the place down without fail from 7pm til 8pm and then wouldnt let me put him down or move until 10pm, turned out to be colic and gripe water was a godsend and then he seems to have grown out of it so to speak...

glad u have had progress last night though xxx

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Aww you have all my sympathy, Lizzie is very restless in the evenings too and wants to feed all the time. I tend to express in the morning when I have more milk so OH can give me (and my poor nipples!) a bit of a rest later on - if I couldn't I think I'd have had a breakdown by now, so well done you for coping so well!
You mention sleeping on tummy or back, have you tried putting her on her side? And I absolutely swear by 'wedging' Lizzie between rolled up blankets - she has her hands up so she can suck on them but can't suddenly 'jolt' herself awake

 

[ShadowWolf]

We did try putting her on her side but she just rolls herself onto her back and then cries, she is so fidgity and i dont think it will be long until she starts to roll one way, as for blankets, may try that, although she still tends to startle herself unless she is lying on her hands....

Had a really long and crap day with her in the end, she kept waking up whilst on her back and getting tired and eventually really screamy. She is now asleep on her front and has been down for almost 4 hours, heh. I think she's as exausted as i am.

xxx

 

[1529boutique]

I don't no if you still need any advise but with my dd this is what I used to do. She started sleeping through from about 6/8 weeks she was ff though. After her last feed if u can call it that say around 10 or 11 I used to let her lay on my stomach so she could feel my heart beating etc after half hour or so I'd put her in her Moses basket and then is feed her at 2 with the same thing is lay in bed with her on my stomach and put her down after 20 mins or so then she would sleep until half 7 ish usual coz oh was up for work then then when she got to Bout 6/8 weeks the 2am feeds faded out. I don't no how the laying on me even started I used to do it in the day time as well I must of read it some where but it was good for me As well I also loved wearing her in a carrier but soon as she could sit herself up on her own she stopped it and now she likes giving lots of two second cuddles but that's it she won't sit still for a long cuddle