Annoyed but feel bad

[DW1978]

From the beginning of this pregnancy, my dad and his wife offered to look after the baby for us when I go back to work. They currently look after my step-brothers 1 year old baby girl. We were obviously over the moon for two reasons, 1. The baby would be with family who we love and trust and 2. Our childcare fees would be minimal.

Tonight, I had a very appologetic text from my stepmum saying that they no longer want to commit to looking after the baby.

I do understand their point of view as they are both retired (they were lucky enough to be able to afford to take early retirement 5 years ago when I had Lennon and are both still pretty young at 62 and 52) and as such can pretty much do whatever they want whenever they want i.e. going away at the drop of a hat.

We are in the process of applying for a pretty big re-mortgage which will increase our monthly payments and while applying, they asked us about childcare fees and we have told them that we wont have any.

Now we need to start looking into childcare and I don't know if we are going to be able to take on such an increase in our mortgage and I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself and annoyed that they have pulled out.

I feel really selfish for being annoyed with them as we didn't get pregnant thinking they would have the baby, that was just a bonus after we had announced my BFP so we would have been in this boat normally anyway. I guess it just felt like that was one thing we didn't have to worry about and now we do - our finances are going to be so so so tight.

 

[Sarah13]

That's a shame, at least they have told you now while you still have time to sort something out. Dont suppose they would consider even one day a week to help out, even for a little white? Sorry but can't offer much advice though as I know things are a bit different over there and childcare so expensive where ever you are.

 

[DW1978]

I did think about that today actually Sarah. I also have an aunt thats retired so maybe if they could do one day each then I would only have to pay for 3 days at nursery. Oh well, will have to see how things pan out.

 

[Geminiblue]

do you not think its your hormones as well? I am raging at the moment Ihate my husband because last night he bought home Mature Cheese and not mild, he knows I dont like mature cheese, I am barely eating anything at the moment coz everything I eat makes me want to vomit and he does that. Irrational!!!! I hate being like this. My mum has offered to have my 2 kids when I go back to work after maternity leave (thats once this one is born being my second) and Im like "over my dead effing body" her parenting was awful...child services bad....and she thinks she can look after my two precious miracles???? NOPE........... Im am being so horrible I want to cry all the time I hate myself.

I hope to god you dont feel like this but it is hormones xxx

 

[DW1978]

Hehehe Gemini. Don't think I feel that bad at the moment!! LOL. I was just a bit put out that they already look after my step-bro's lo (and have done for about 6 months) and have now pulled out of looking after mine.

Just spoke to the nursery up the road from us and has a maaaahoooosive shock at the price....£6.15 per hour...7 hours a day...5 days a week...will cost us £215.25 a week...about £861 per month...£11,193 per year

 

[Sarah13]

Ouch that's a lot! Hope you can cut it down by a few days somehow

 

[ChrissieCool]

Yikes that's lots