Am I being out of line?!

[kirstiexxxlea]

Hello

Please be as honest as you like, I won’t get offended I would love to hear what you think!

So here’s the thing, baby is due on 12th July and I am counting down the days until I get to hold my little man.
I have already decided that when I go into labour my OH and my mum will be there (I don't think I could do this without my mum by my side)
So I had some piece of mind that if everything else went out the window I would have OH and mum there regardless!

Until OH through a spanner in the works!
He had been to visit his mum
(I can't stand his mum one bit!) and when he got back home the first thing out of his mouth was ' Mum has asked me to ask you something, no pressure though'
( I don't know about you but when someone says 'no pressure' it general means there will be pressure involved!)
So he goes to me 'my mum would be deeply honored if she could be at the birth!'

This is where I want to know if I'm out of line!?
WHO THE HELL ASKS TO BE AT A BIRTH!?
You get asked you don't ask! I just couldn't believe the cheek of it.
I can't stand the woman; I cringe at the fact that at some point her dirty, nasty, unclean and unwashed presence will be near my child let alone be in the room during one of the most important days of my life!

So my OH obviously wants his mum there but am I being selfish by wanting to say NO!NO! NOOOO NEVER!?
I would have thought he would be more concerned with me being calm and comfortable on the day than adhering to his manipulative mother’s inconsiderate request! As if there isn't enough pressure already!

So please let me know what you think

x

 

[LucyH]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Definitely NOT out of line - You need to have who you want at the birth!! You OH just really understand that??

bloody hell if my OH asked if his mum could be there - I would Lose it... I would hate for her to be there!!!!!!

Totally on your side.... No is a reasonable answer.........

 

[NicciLove]

Just say the hospital only has a 2 person limit and you've already ask your mum so its not possible, that way you wont offend anyone lol

I would feel a bit weird if my MIL was there :S (and i really like my MIL)

Is she not the type to understand if you say 'well actually i'd rather you not be there . . . '??

 

[lanny]

I couldnt think of anything worse then my mil being at the birth im with you xxxx

 

[MrsR]

I don't think you're being selfish etc I honestly believe that you're the one going through something huge (ie pushing a new life out of a relatively small orifice) and it's your right to have who you want at the birth. Anything that makes labour easier is good and anything that makes you feel uncomfortable and labour a negative experience is, IMHO, awful x you want to remember birth as a joyous celebration, not having to think about everything and feel uncomfortable. I would hate my mil or my mother to be there and would tell them (nicely) if they had the audacity to ask! I'd speak to your OH and explain nicely that you would be uncomfortable having her there and hopefully she'll drop the idea. Good luck

 

[kirstiexxxlea]

I'm sure he knew before he asked that I wouldn't want her there!
I think he thought that telling me she would be 'deeply honored' would some how sway me!
She does this type of thing all the time and it really angers me at how manipulative she is
I still have to tell him that I don't want her in room at all when I'm in labour or giving birth
I would love to give her a piece of my mind

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I cant believe she/he even asked!

No your not out of line, childbirth is a very personal thing and you should have whatever audience or lack of you choose

 

[amyjayne77]

She/he is so out of order for even asking!!!! It's one of the most personal/intimate moment of your life and nobody has a right to be there without your request!!

 

[kirstiexxxlea]

Thank you all sooo very much! x

I will now being telling OH that his mum will not be at the birth

Although knowing her she will only cause friction between me & OH

 

[titch]

I would absolutely not have my MIL anywhere near me when Im in labour. I dont even want her around when we come out of hosptial.

If you want to say no, without causing a family bust up, check your hospital policy. At my hospital youre only allowed a max of 2 birth partners but they prefer just one. Tell her that you need your mum for support and obviously you cant ask your OH not to be there so there wont be space. You can even act like youre gutted as it was a lovely idea, but just not possible

 

[titch]

also just a side note, even if I didnt find my MIL stressful to be around, I wouldnt really want her to see my vagina. I just think thats past the MIL/daughter-in-law line!!!!

 

[kirstiexxxlea]

HAHAHA!

Tiny I love your thinking!

I agree with you, I don't want her anywhere near me or my little tot, period!

 

[kirstiexxxlea]

You would have thought that the possibility of seeing my V would put her off but NO!

Well there is no possible about it, the V will be on display for all too see who dare come too close!

 

[titch]

if Im supposed to relax as much as possible while naked with my legs wide open, I think I have the right to choose the audience!!!

 

[becks20]

I dont think your out of line. My sister had her MIL at one of her births and she was down the V end just shouting "come on baby". She didnt care about how my sister was llol. i think your only allowed 2 people in the room anyway. Im only having my OH with me this time but i would have loved my mum to be there but i doubt she would get here in time (she lives an hour away, plus shes gonna have to look after my daughter) i hope you manage to say no to her x

 

[kirstiexxxlea]

Exactly Becks20, even if she was in the room I couldn't trust her not to have a look at what my OH affectionately calls 'THE GO END!' It's bad enough he will be there having a jolly good gorp!
I would like to keep what my V looks like a secret to as many people as possible!

Tiny you crack me up!
If people are getting a peek they should have to pay for the privilege

x

 

[evajo]

OOOHHHH no no no no - mums there is one things MIL something completely different, Have to say i would say a big no from the word go - i don't think your OH wants her there - he's just been told to ask! I would go with the two person rule - blimey its not a spectator sport!

 

[bobkat]

I completely agree with everyone else. I'd be so worried about what she was thinking (she has her own way of doing just about everything so whatever I do is wrong) plus, so concerned about her seeing the 'GO END' (tee hee, good name) I'd spend all my time keeping my legs crossed so labour would take about ten times longer. If your mum is there, at least she has seen you naked at some point, MIL being there just wrong on every level.

 

[kirstiexxxlea]

I'm glad it's not just me that's so worried about people seeing the V!
The MIL is the type that would make me feel really bad by saying something like
'Oh don't be so vain, we all have one!'
Yes we all have one but that doesn't me I want you to see mine!
Well my mum wouldn't stand for it anyway, she knows exactly how I feel about it and If I didn't say something she sure would!

 

[Tasha89]

blimey its not a spectator sport!

Hahahahaaaaa! Can just imagine being in the labour ward and all of sudden surrounded by tourists and the clicking of their cameras! lol!