allowing baby to sleep on us=making a rod for our backs???

[1588]

Last week we tried to introduce a bedtime routine after a hectic xmas of being passed around and kept up late.

It all started quite well, she would go down at 8 and sleep for an hr or so, wake with colic have a feed about 11 and then settle down at about midnight til 7ish...... sweet

BUT she's been so colicky these last few nights that instead of going to bed it starts about 6ish before her bath and she ends up being winded and cuddled before falling asleep on mine or DHs chest. WE then carry her up to bed with us at 10ish and she feeds at 11 without having been to bed at all.

Is this creating bad sleep associations as last night she didn't settle til 1.30am and woke again at 5am?

Please offer your advice as I'm not sure whether I'm creating problems for the future

 

[LisaJ1986]

I'm going to be rubbish help here, but a routine is possible. My little madam has always decided she will do as she pleases. It ended up her coming to bed with us between 10 and 11pm THEN thinking she can sleep in bed with me! It got to the point where sticking her in bed was never gonna happen. But we've decided now she has to go in her own bed, in her own room as she's approaching 9 months!
It's doing very well so far! She woke once the first night, and slept 10 hours the second. It just takes a bit of perseverance really. As hard as it is you just need to try and stick at whatever routine you decide to go for.

 

[kalia]

Personally, I decided that as babies are viable from 24 weeks that meant she had spent at least 4 months inside me as a conscious being and if she needed cuddled for another 4 months to get used to the outside world then that was just fine! She set her own routine and was happy to sleep in her cot from about 5 weeks but if it had taken her longer to be happy there we would have gone with that. For months we would put a hot microwavable wheat bag in her moses basket, cot or changing mat before putting her down (removing the bag first) so that she never had to be on a cold surface, afterall, no one likes going into a cold bed. And even now, when most people have been using cold baby wipes on their babies for ages, we still use warm water.

You might like to try putting her down and only if that doesn't work letting her sleep on you because as you have said, you are creating a sleep association. But it is up to youu how you treat your baby and if you feel this is the right thing to do then do it.

 

[BabyMagic]

I can't remember how old my LO was when she suddenly started becoming easier to put to bed. I do remember that she hated her pram for the first 6 weeks and hence didn't go in it until then. She also used to fall asleep on us and stay in bed with us. Then suddenly, she was much happier to be left to fall asleep on her own.

Like Kalia I like to be gentle with my baby. This is a scary place for them and if your LO is experiencing colicky attacks I would make extra effort to make her feel comfortable. Maybe when her colic gets better you could then slowly start introducing different methods for falling asleep. If she isn't too keen, why not to first to get her to fall asleep next to you and then move onto seeing if she was happy in the cot or moses basket (if you have chosen not to co-sleep with her).

Are you using a sling? I used to find it particularly useful in the early months. If LO was unsettled I would just carry her in it until I went to bed myself.

Don't worry too much hun, your baby will grow out NOT to want to be on your all the time. When they learn to sit and play, and become mobile the last thing she'll want to do is to lie on you (she may want to crawl over you though ).

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Gabriella would always fall asleep on me or the boob when she was little and I can;t remember how but one night (probably about 5 months) she was put to bed awake and she settled herself and went off fine.
She is a brilliant sleeper and has always settled herself and likes her own space but those first few months she wanted to be cuddled and close. I was the same as you; worried that I was making a rod for my own back and I was reading conflicting things in books and on the internet and getting myself really stressed and after my DH got rid of the books; I just went with my own instincts and I think that is the best advice; just go with your instincts.

Babies aren't babies for long, cuddle and snuggle with them while you can. It's the most wonderful and natural thing and I think it helps them to feel secure and safe.

Sorry for my waffling and good luck