Alex - 7/3/07 - unexpected home birth at 36+2

Rosieroo

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I wrote this 2 days after having Alex and was pretty shocked, so excuse any grammatical errors :lol: BTW I live next door to my mum, we completed on the house the friday before he was born (but had been living there for a week and a half).

I woke up on Wednesday morning and felt desperate for a wee, I had backache but thought it was because I'd been holding it in so I didn't wake up Ella. After I went to the loo I got back into bed and had what felt like a contraction, then another 2 mins later. They started at 5.15am and were coming 2 mins apart and lasting 40 seconds. I called the labour ward at 7.30am as they were quite painful and they told me it was unlikely I was in labour as I could talk through the contractions and because I was 36 weeks (36+2). They said to call my MW at 9am. At 8am I told mum that I'd need her to look after Ella so she called in sick at work and came and took her away after she'd had breakfast. Then I got into the bath and the contractions slowed to every 4 mins. At 10.15 I saw my MW at her clinic and she examined me, he was 3/5s engaged and I was 2cm dilated but she said that I might not be going into labour and to go home and rest. I was told that I would have to have him in hospital if I was in labour because he was early and might need help with his breathing. After getting home I got Matt to blow up the birthing pool with the pump and he started to fill it up with the hose attached to mums tap as it didn't fit any of ours, I was planning on staying at home as long as possible if I did go into full blown labour. Then I got him to go and get me a tens machine from Boots whilst my mum and sister sat with me at home (Ella was upstairs having a nap in my house at this point). The contractions were really quite painful at this point and I was burying my head into a cushion every time I had one because I was self concious of what face I'd be pulling I still didn't know if/when I was having the baby so was in a bit of a limbo! When Matt got back he attached the tens and I leant over the sofa, mum and Lindsey went and I tried getting through the contractions with the tens and breathing. After a few more contractions I realised they were actually quite bad and I asked Matt to phone delivery suite to let them know we were coming down. This was about 12pm, whilst he was on the phone I just knew the baby was coming and I shouted at him that I had no time and to get someone out to me. After he rang off I felt the contractions change and knew that I was going through the transition stage. For some reason I felt really calm and chilled out despite the pain and tried breathing through it. After about 5-10mins I stripped off and got into my birthing pool which we'd set up in the front room. I had a contraction and my body started doing little pushes, then I had another without any pushing. At this point I still felt really calm and warm in the pool and had accepted he was going to come quite soon. I was actually telling Matt to chill out as he was still stuffing things into carrier bags. The MW arrived at 12.15pm and as soon as she came into the front room the atmosphere changed. I hadn't met her before and she was from a different team. She ordered me out of the birthing pool and said I couldn't have him in there as I was early. I didn't want to get out as I was so nice and comfy but she made me and kept going on and on that I had to get out, he couldn't be born in there. Then she made Matt phone 999 for an ambulance as he was going to be prem. Everything turned into a circus from then onwards. I was forced out of the pool, soaking wet onto a pile of towels and sofa cushions on the floor, on my back. 2 paramedics arrived soon after and I was gasping for the gas and air but the arrogant paramedic just swanned in and said 'what's the rush', sat on the arm of my sofa with his feet up on it and stared down at me on the floor. I felt so humilated as I was naked apart from my bra. They had Matt running around getting things and I was just stranded on the floor. Eventually the nice paramedic set me up with the gas and air then he disappeared into the hallway when the 2nd MW arrived, but the horrible one stayed put talking noisily down his mobile phone. When the MW examined me I was fully dilated (just like with Ella when I got to hospital) and only my membranes were holding him in which she wanted to break. When she went to do this they broke of their own accord and splashed her from head to knee (she was kneeling). It was comedy gold Served her right for making me get out of the pool!! She then told me that I needed to start to push with the contractions. The nasty paramedic was trying to force me to hold the gas and air in the other hand (which I was holding Matt's hand with), and he kept grabbing my arm and hand which he wanted to put an IV into but he didn't ask me. I shook him off and shouted at him that I didn't want it and he got really shitty. The MWs said it was because I was adamant I wanted a homebirth and didn't want to transfter to hospital, but it was because I didn't want to be manhandled when I was supposed to be pushing out my baby! The MWs were talking about transferring him (baby) to hospital without me when he was born because he was early (I wasn't taking this in, had I realised what they meant I would have totally freaked). It all seemed very dramatic for a baby that was only 5 days off of the 37 week policy for homebirths! After a few pushes he arrived screaming into the world (I didn't feel the ring of fire as bad this time!). I was desperate to hold him but they wouldn't give him to me, they were cleaning him off with a towel. I wanted him so bad and Matt had unclipped my bra as he knew I wanted immediate skin to skin, but they still took a good couple mins to hand him over. They also cut the cord without asking and gave me a jab for me to pass the placenta without asking, so I'm feeling a bit miffed about that. I eventually got him and it felt so good to hold him next to my skin, he was covered in vernix and had a nice mop of hair. After they weighed him (he was 6lb 1oz) they decided the paramedics weren't required and that we'd go to hospital under our own steam. I had some grazing and a 1st degree tear that didn't need stitches. We spent 3 hours at home, he had his first feed and I had a bath then the MW left and we were supposed to follow to spend a night at hospital. I got really upset when she left as I didn't want to go into hospital and leave Matt and Ella (Ella slept through the whole of my labour by the way!), he seemed pink, healthy and happy and it all seemed over the top. So I called my MW (at my surgery) and she said that we couldn't be forced into anything and to stay put for a hour and see how I felt. After that time we called the hospital and said we wouldn't be attended. So all my notes now say that either I refused or declined hospital admittance. The MW that delivered him was not happy at all that we didn't go down and came back later and gave my notes back to my mum without a word then stomped off. Shit to her! I got to sleep in my own bed, with clean sheets, next to my DH and new baby.


Some pics of him when he was first born :)

DSCF0096.jpg


DSCF0099-1.jpg


His full name is Alexander George Gabriel (George after my grandad that passed whilst I was pregnant and Gabriel as he was called Gabe from my 20 week scan).
 
My goodness Kina - what a story - I'm so sorry you were treated so badly by all those arrogant NHS professionals!

I hope you complained?

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son. How is he now? Is he a normal weight etc?

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story.

Love

Valentine xxx
 
Good on you for sticking to your guns.

How much did he weigh?
 
Sorry have amended it - he was 6lb 1oz so a really good weight. I had him weighed yesterday and he's now 17lb 2.5oz, he's massive!!

I was going to complain because the way that I was treated made me really depressed and I dwelled on it a lot for several weeks. Now time has passed it's not as fresh in my mind and I've gotten over it, however next time (if there is one!) if I was in the same situation I'd definately stick to my guns (stay in the nice warm pool!) and so would DH, they just panicked him!
 
With recent news about how women are disappointed with the care they were given I would of pursued it but aslong as he is fine and your doing ok that is all that matters
 
Ah that is a lovely story hunny.

I would be so mad at how you got treated with a big complant going in.

:hug: :hug: :cheer: :dance:
 
Congratulations on baby Alex and well done for not kill that paramedic and midwife I think I would've thrown them out of my house you poor thing. I'm glad you've gotten over it and baby Alex is fine.
 
At the time I was in sooooo much pain that I couldn't think straight, of course under normal circumstances I would have dealt with things differently, but you know what it's like when you're in labour! I had started prewarning DH about what I did and didn't want to happen with the homebirth, but we hadn't sat down properly and chatted and they spooked him into thinking that Alex was going to be in trouble because of being born early (they were acting like he was coming really prem, not just 4 weeks early) so he really got quite upset. All that matters now is that he was still born at home and was healthy, right near where I am sitting actually and that I got to say goodnight to my little girl that night (it tore me apart thinking of not being with her that night!). But they did spoil the end of the labour and those first few hours afterwards.

A warning to all though, make sure your birth partner knows what you want to happen during your labour and afterwards!
 
I was only thinking about you the other day and wondered how the birth had gone!

Congratulations hun, he is gorgeous!
xx
 
that's an amazing story! I'm glad you didn't have to leave your home.
What you said about that paramedic and MW made my blood boil! What arseholes!!
Great to hear that Alex is doing fine :D
xxxx
 
Congratulations on the birth of your handsome little soldier.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I would put in a complaint babes. xx
 
congratulations hun. he is gorgeous :cheer: very good weight too :)

the nhs really cheese me off. slap a complaint in asap.
 
Wow you are a amazingly brave woman kina and well done for sticking to your guns. Its amazing how a mothers instict os always right and you followed yours and made the right decision.
:clap: :clap: I hope i can be as strong as you and make the right desisions when the time comes.
 
Congratulations Kina, it sounds like you were so controlled. I can't believe the nasty NHS people, I am pleased you stuck by your guns though :)

Xxx
 
congrats on ur home birth hun.
i'm sorry u were treated so badly by that paramedic and that MW! thats atrocious, annoyed me reading it!
enjoy ur new baby boy. :hug:
 
Congratulations :cheer:

Reading that about that paramedic has made me so angry! :x How dare he?! :shock:
 
Congratulations!. Some medical people really make me angry! I'm glad you managed to have a positive experience despite them.
 
Hi

I know ive told you but congrats again :) Alex is so gorgeous
Katrina
 

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