Advice please!

[Kirsty.Y.84]

My best friend is getting married end of August and I am chief bridesmaid. She wants her hen do on 4th August and I'm organising it for her.
If I end up being 2 weeks overdue I could give birth end of june and have a 5 week old baby by the time her hen night comes around and I am planning to breast feed. Now I'm not sure if it's going to be possible for md to go to her hen do as surely I wont be at the point where I can leave my baby from 6pm till 3am 5 weeks after giving birth, as baby would have to feed from a bottle of expressed milk all night.
The hen do is in Canterbury which is prob getting on for an hour away and there is a minibus taking us there and it's not picking us up until 2am.
Now my question is, is it acceptable for me to only go to my best fruend's hen do for a couple of hours or even not at all? I'm just not sure I will be in such a routine by then that I can leave baby for so long. Who knows, i may not even be able to get baby to take from a bottle if it is used to being breatfed?! What do you ladies think?

 

[Joanne1982]

o gosh i think she would be very understanding if you dont go and really pleased if you went for a few hours - you baby will only be a few week old and she will understand that you have to put your babys needs first x

 

[K80]

I think it's far too soon for you to commit yourself to this cos you've no idea what will be what when the time comes. As long as your friend knows you will try your best to be there as best u can, that's all you can do. I'd personally say try aiming to go for a wee while but its not likely you'll be there the whole night (can u imagine being sober around everyone, on a mini bus with drunk girls at 2am them having to get up with baby next day - not good!)
Try and not let it stress you. I guess that your friends will just gave to understand and accept that's the way it is!!
Loads of my friends ended up having more than one hen do - if u can't make this big one, have a back up plan for you, the bride and a few close others to have a more low key, local get together another time.

 

[Kirsty.Y.84]

Thanks ladies. My friend had a baby last August herself, and she is still breastfeeding so I'm sure she will be understanding i just feel bad that I can't commit. I hadnt even considered that I might not be able to go when I started organising it for her! I think it does help that she is a new mum though, as I don't think you realise how hard it is to leave them if you are breast feeding unless you have done it. And I'm not talking from experience, just from talking to others! x

 

[tinkerbell86]

I agree to wait and see. we had a wedding 2 wks after my due date but my lo arrived on his due date. We told them we would try and come to the evening depending on how it went with the baby. But....... 10 days before I had lo I broke my ankle and was in plaster - we went to the reception albeit a big struggle but only for a couple of hours and the groom (oh's best friend)was so grateful we went (lo came too). But it was so much hassle with oh having to look after me and the baby!

 

[Star33]

I think your friend should & most likely understand if you never went at all hun. I would not want to leave my 5wk old baby to go on a hen night ( best friend ) or not - i dont think most people would really ?

If you wanted to go for a few hrs then she would be made up but should understand if you never wanted to go at all due to having the baby & baby being so young. You have a good excuse so your not making any old excuse up. x x

 

[Maria1977]

Do what feels right you and your baby hun. I've been BFF with my bff (!! lol) for over 30 years.

I know that, even though she would be really disappointed I wouldn't be there or only for a short wihle, she would also be supportive of the fact I had a new baby and would never be anything other than that.

xxxx

 

[zoe82]

I'm sure your friend will understand as well. I've got 2 hen nights I've had to turn down this summer, as I'll be way too close to my due date,and one of the weddings is all depending on when LO makes an appearance which they're totally fine about. Plus I think if your friend has recently just had a baby herself, she'll be more than understanding x

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[Smithy1980]

I'm going out properly for the first time next Saturday and LO is 6 months! She was ebf and we have started to introduce a bottle but it took her 3 months to take the bottle as she kept rejecting it!

Tbh I only now feel ready to leave her! Can you say a provisional yes and explain to your friend that you will confirm nearer the time? I'm sure she will understand, especially as she is bf xx


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[jacy90]

I agree with all the others girls - Im sure ur friend will be understanding, especially as she's a new mum too! Just play it by ear and see how you feel. You might not want to leave your baby at all, but you might feel fine about it! Im sure she'll be delighted if you made it for a couple of hours, but she should understand if you didnt make it. After all, Im sure she'd be more bothered about you coming to the wedding!

 

[Kirsty.Y.84]

Thanks so much for your replies. I'm seeing her today so I'm going to speak to her about it then I'm sure she will be understanding, and I'm still going to plan the whole thing for her, so will still be involved!

Thanks again, you have all made me feel so much better about the situation x x

 

[mrswarner87]

im sure she will understand sweetie, you will be far too tired what with havin a new baby.
xx